Monday, February 23, 2009

Random Things

1. Why is it that I have one child who could care less about eating and my other child wants to eat everything in sight? Eva will eat food items and non-food items alike as if it is completely normal. For example, breakfast for Eva might include the following: a cup of milk, a waffle, some fruit, half of a paper towel, a handful of dog food and a booger. Not even kidding. I'm talking DAILY she eats dog food despite the fact that we continue to tell her how gross it is and that disciplinary action will be taken if she keeps doing it. Somehow she is not getting the message.

2. The other day I found Eva blowing the toilet water. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up a little bit.

3. Eva thinks it is hilarious these days to toot on purpose just to get a laugh. She will strain and strain just to produce one little toot and then she looks around to see if anyone heard it and just laughs. I am an easy audience of course because I think passing gas is extremely funny but we are working on saying excuse me since this type of behavior is obviously socially inappropriate. Her other socially inappropriate behavior that she has started doing is picking her nose and trying to wipe it on me. I know some of you who know me well and know that I think toots and boogers are funny maybe shocked to hear that no, I did not teach her either of these things. I promise! Again, we are working on what is appropriate and that there is such a thing as Kleenex. They have those now you know? Pretty sure they do.

4. Where have all the El Camino's gone? You know what I'm talking about. Those half truck/half muscle car combos that leave you wondering, "Is it a truck? Or is it a car? I'm not really sure."

In my opinion they are hideous looking but a GENIUS idea. Anyway, the other day we were driving to a doctor's appointment and were stopped at a light and hit the jackpot! A bronze El Camino pulled up beside us and to our delight the driver had the most amazing mullet I have seen in a long time. AND, wait, there's add even more greatness to the story we still to this day are not sure whether the driver was a male or a female. GOOOO! I don't know which is worse a male mullet or a female mullet...I'm thinking the female mullet is prreeetty rough. In my mind the stereotype is that if you own an El Camino you more than likely will also have a mullet but in reality seeing the two together is a rare sighting so this just made my day. This person was obviously stuck in another era and you just know their car music of choice was probably like Journey's "Wheel in the Sky" on repeat or something. You can almost bet on it. Anyway, bring back the El Caminos I say. Are you thinking what I'm thinking...Eva and Ella's first car? That's right, El Camino baby, yeah...minus the mullet of course.

5. Ella has been doing this move a lot. I'm not really sure if she is practicing her hurkey or what she's doing. I was not a cheerleader but just in my observation I'm thinking that the hurkey may be the #1 move to know so Ella, you're on your way sister.

6. I have a motto that I've been going by lately because it seems like we like to take the difficult route for pretty much every situation these days so to prepare myself I like the motto of "Go in with low expectations and you will be pleasantly surprised." Let me explain. For instance, you get up in the morning and you think, "on my way to work I will probably have a wreck, total my car and be late for work." When none of that happens and you get to work a little early you are "pleasantly surprised." Another example, you are going to the grocery store and you think "the store will probably be out of everything I need, the kids will throw a fit and there will be some annoying person who stays on my tail with their cart down every aisle." And when none of that happens, you are what my friends? All together now..."pleasantly surprised". Do you see how this works? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? That's my theory, low expectations people, it's the way to go. :)

7. Because things have been diffcult and frustrating lately one of my very sweet, funny and caring friends, Nicole, showed up at my house a few weeks ago with a stack of plates from the dollar store. Plates you ask? Do tell. She thought that maybe if I could just throw a few plates when I'm frustrated it might make me feel better. Awesome idea! It makes me feel SO much better. I'm sure the neighbors are wondering why they occasionally hear breaking glass and someone crying in the backyard. No one has called the police yet, who by the way live right next door so I think we're good. Yeah, there's no counting to ten or taking deep breaths around here, it's just straight up plate-throwing for the Carders. That's just how we roll.

8. Last week my twin sister Ann and I turned 25 again. :) I love that I always know what to expect on my birthday from Ann. Every year we wish each other "Happy Birthday womb-mate,"...get it? Ha! Womb-mate, because we're twins. I know we are so clever. Anyway, then Ann usually gives me a card with some sort of inappropriate humor, language or both. Classic, she never disappoints. Anyway, we had a fun birthday and some of my dearest friends also happened to be in town so we all got to partay--haaay, together. I love spending time with these girls. I think my maturity level drops a few notches when we all get together from just being silly and laughing a lot. You know how it is when a bunch of girls get together, there's lots of loud laughing and everyone is talking at the same time but is still able to catch every word of what everyone else is saying. It's great. Thanks for the fun day ladies! And thank you to everyone for all of your calls, texts, and cards on my birthday, I felt very special.

My roomies from college, me, Kimberly, Ann, Christiana

Ann bought herself a shirt for her birthday and decided she liked it so much so she got the same one for me too. Our friend Holly said she would pay us to dress alike on our big day but of course we said there's no need to pay us, we would be more than happy to dress the same! Do you see what I mean by maturity level dropping a notch or two? Don't worry, we didn't go out in public dressed alike since that is a little awkward and we don't usually make a habit of dressing the same. It was just for the day and we didn't leave the house so it's cool.

Aunt Kimberly with Ella. She put her right to sleep.

Ella with her friends Neva and Callie all in their leg warmers

Ella and Callie in their matching pjs

The whole gang!


Jodi said...

Oh Amy, you never fail to disappoint! Thanks for the laughs this fine day... man, did I need that!!! :) Once again, cracking me up all over the place. Love seeing the pics of you and your sweet girls and girl-friends (Notice how that is hyphenated? I hate it when people don't put that ever-so-necessary-hyphen in there...). And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Way to go with the matching attire.

jocelyn said...

The El Camino is the mullet of cars: business in front, party in the back. I kind of think they go hand in hand. So, unless you want your girls to have mullets, you might want to refrain from the El Camino...I'm just saying.

Thinking about you guys and saying prayers for all of you!

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious my friend. I love it! I had a great time and am missing you now.
Love ya,

Calista said...

My mom's first car was a pea green El Camino. She said she felt sorry for it because it was so ugly and decieded it had to be hers. She drove it for years. I'm glad you had a good birthday and loved that you and Ann dressed alike, even if it was only for a minute. I'm with you on taking your frustrations out. I used to take a bat to a tree in my back yard. Poor tree but it was great therapy. Hope you are doing good and talk to you later. Love ya. Let me know if you need more plates. I would be glad to bring some over.

Randi Freeby said...

Please never stop writing posts like this. You had me laughing so hard on a day when I needed a great laugh. You inspire me all the time. I miss you and love reading all you have to say. You are the best. And, happy late birthday to you and Ann.

Anonymous said...

I missed you on your birthday! I did enjoy staying home with my grumpy two-year-old and my Braxton Hicks contractions, though. That was a lot more fun.

I can't wait for baby Gabriella to be here to hang out in those pictures! When she and Neva are roomates in college, they can live across the hall from Callie and Ella and do their English homework for them. Ella and Callie will be going out to a fun party and they'll make fun of Gabriella and Neva on their way out b/c they'll be sitting in their room sipping tea and playing Enya. I can't wait!

Love you!

Mere Ware said...

Happy Belated Birthday Amy!! I am the worst birthday rememberer ever! I was cracking up several times during this post! Ryan saw an el camino the other day and started talking about getting one...yikes. I think they are gross!
And I know exactly what you mean about having low expectations...I go to work everyday to teach 8th graders science...very low expectations some days! Like yesterday, when I had a pre-ap kid come up before class and ask me "Ma'am (yes, he calls me that every time, I don't think he has ever said my name), what is a hemorrhoid?" If I had high expectations I might not see that one coming...but keep your expectations low and your always ready for crap like that!

brianchante said...

Amy you are too funny. I laugh the whole time I am reading your blog. I love the plate idea but I am glad you showed a picture b/c I was thinking paper plates =). Also, my Dad had an El Camino while I was growing up. He would pick my up at school in it.
Noah thinks tooting on purpose is way funny also. He will even raise his leg if he is sitting. Too funny =)

DCVol said...

Fab, fab post~ I love all the pics of the beautiful ladies and kiddos.... you are all BEAUTIFUL. You really make me laugh, especially with Eva enjoying the dog food. The plate idea is SOOO awesome and I may try that myself except we don't have a privacy fence and I feel sure the neighbors might call the cops. Most of all, I LOVE the matching shirts you and Ann wore~ classic. Love you much! KJS

Kiser said...

Amy, Amy, prove once and again that time will not let you cease to be one of my favorite people. Just the picture of the four of you together brings good feelings down deep in my soul remembering math homework and Wedding Singer over and over again with your household.

Always remembering your family in our prayers...

Sam, Erin, Ava and Madeline said...

Happy Birthday! You are so funny!
Go Ella with your funky dance!! Thanks for making me laugh today!

Nancy Giurlanda said...

Amy you are just hilarious! I soooo needed a good laugh. How beautiful you and Ann look in your birthday shirts, thank you for posting guys look beautiful. I am so glad you posted a picture of your "plate breaking area" now I know how to set mine up!! what a great idea. It was so very good to talk to you and Ann on your birthday, I loved hearing both of your voices and hearing you laugh. Eva, Eva, Eva..what a character! I wonder where she gets it from :)
I love all of the pictures but especially the "whole gang" picture....look at Eva looking at the little boy next to her...haha....probably hoping he will never ever drive an El Camino!! I love you all.

Sweets said...

The Washburn's LOVE and PRAY for the Carder's and laugh and cry with you on a daily basis! Oh, the El Camino days! (Really though, what is it?) The mullet was fine to discuss, but, did you have to bring Journey into it?
HILARIOUS! Sweet medicine for the soul, my sweet friend!
Sweets (Sharon)

Chesley said...

So, I had a first grader one year and his mom had a mullet. He however, did not which was very surprising because his little sister's ages 3 and 4 both had little mullet's to match mom. Priceless!
The first time I had heard of plate throwing was Dana Hood. I guess she is Dr. Hood now. Anyways, I thought that was a great idea! I would love to come and cheer you on as you break some! :)
Happy Birthday to you and Ann. I am still holding at 29!

Kelly Vaughn said...

I love this hearing your heart and the sincere laughter you have to give and receive in the midst of such a hard time..I loved every minute with Ann last weekend and so hope that we can work out a time to get together in the near future with our sisters and talk and laugh and probably cry some too...much love and many thoughts and prayers

Monica said...

I am glad you are finding relief these days. Plates, mullets, toots, whatever it takes. : ) I think we need to keep Miss Eva and Annie apart. We have a tooter at our house too!! Why does it come so natural for some and how do you keep from laughing? Most of all are they going to still be tooting and laughing when they go to kindergarten? Do you get a red card for that? I guess for now we can just laugh and figure out the rest later.

Matteo and Heather said...

Oh Nark, I'm so not surprised that your 2 year old is tooting and flicking buggars every where. Do you find snot rags in her bed?? Unfortunately they don't have El Caminos here, just way too many hatch-backs and chariots (just kidding). You don't even know how sad (and sorry) I am that I missed your birthday. I thought about it bf and after, but I let it slip away:( So happy late Birthday! And I'm even sadder that I missed the party with the girls, even though I'm still not in the "bambino" club. Anyway- love you lots and miss you more....

Tina said...

Amy, just checking in on your page to see how life is with the Carder's and I'm nearly crying from laughing so hard. You haven't changed a bit! I wish we all lived closer!


Lindsey said...

I have several things to say about this.
1 i was laughing so hard at the toots i think it is a funny thing. I know you will have to eventually tell her but for now I think it is greatness
2 I had an El Camino when i was in High school. My brother and I loved it. I did not, nor my brother have a mullett to go with it. But I did have a friend who wrote a song about my el camino.

Amy you are too funny. Keep the laughs coming! I also like the plate throwing!

Shanta said...

You make me laugh out loud, my dear! Happy Birthday! I'm glad you got a day of fun, hopefully no plate breaking. I really enjoyed you and Ann dressing alike. Let's keep that going. And, try not to blame Eva for the flatulence. We all know it's you.