The Carder Family

Good Reads

2012-02-09T14:24:00.005-06:00

If you are like me and are always looking for a great book to read, boy, have I got some suggestions for you. I have read several really GREAT books lately so just had to share. They are each so, so good! I highly recommend them to everyone, young or old, single or married, with kids and without. They are encouraging, convicting, healing, insightful, hope-filled and make you want to draw closer to God and all that He has for you.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp- "A dare to live fully right where you are..." Soooo, good! I think I'm going to start reading it again even though I just finished it!

Twelve Clean Pages by Nika Maples
All I can say is WOW! You will have a hard time putting this one down. This is a memoir written by a friend of mine here in Fort Worth telling her story of suffering a paralyzing stroke at age 20 and how God has transformed and resurrected her life in the midst of trial. Unbelievable. You can get the book and learn more at www.nikamaples.com or on her blog www.twelvecleanpages.com

One Million Arrows by Julie Ferwada-"Raising your children to change the World"
Looove this book! So encouraging and is a must read for everyone whether you have children or not. It gets to the heart of the mission which is our children's hearts and is a call to raise children with purpose and passion that will impact their communities and world for Christ. So, so, so good!

Without a Word by Jill Kelly
So good. A painful yet beautiful story and testimony of how only God's love can turn our grief into joy.

Happy Reading!

Catching up with the Carders...Again

2012-02-02T16:41:00.000-06:00

Sooo, wow. October, November, December, January...I've got ALOT of catching up to do. Man, it has been fun, fast and crazy around here and lots of fun things have happened since my last post. I don't know why I can't get my act together and keep up because I really do want to. I'll add that to my goals for 2012-Be a better blogger!

Since I last posted obviously we've been through all the major holidays and that just overwhelms me to try and catch up with all of that so I'm not even going to try. So, I'm just going to do a cliff notes version of what's been going on with the Carders. You are welcome. :)

So, topic number 1) We moved into our house...in October. Yes, it's February and I'm just now getting to this but oh well. We love our new/old house! We bought an older home and did some remodeling and we just absolutely love it! We are so thankful to be closer to work, church and family, it really has simplified our life in many ways. Here are some before and afters because you really have to see it to appreciate the difference. All I can say is get ready for LOTS of dark paneling!

Entry before

Entry after

dining/living before...don't you love the cut-out window? We thought about keeping it because it's like you have your very own drive-through window in your house. Eva and Ella thought it was super fun but our couch wouldn't fit in the living room so the drive-thru had to go. :)

dining/living after

kitchen before...wow, raise your hand if you love dark paneling. And is this not the most GINORMOUS overhead cabinet over the bar that you've ever seen?? I will answer for you and the answer is yes. Wowsers.

kitchen after...aaahhh, I feel like I can breathe. :)

There you have it. Come see us anytime!

2) Trip to Honduras

So, I feel really weird about showing before/after pictures of our house and then posting about this trip, just have to get that out there. I don't know what else to say besides I realize we are extremely blessed and because we are it is not for us to keep for ourselves but more for us to give to others. We are on a journey in this much like many of you and are praying for more trust in God to have open eyes and open palms to the world to be radically generous. We're working it out day by day and are learning everyday what it means to trust and say yes to God even when it's hard or doesn't make sense. Anyway, just had to acknowledge the wierdness and how convicting it is to post pictures of my house when just below are pictures of sweet ones that have nothing. I could go on and on but I'll leave it at that, I think you know what I'm saying. So, at the beginning of December Rick, Eva and I got to go to Honduras with an organization we love called Bread for a Hungry World. We spent a week there loving on the young and old, helping build houses and getting to see the amazing work that Bread for a Hungry World does day in and day out to help give those who have no voice a chance to speak, to give them dignity and show them they are important, loved and valued.

We were blessed beyond measure to see the lives that have been transformed and resurrected all because Jesus cares for the least of these and through Bread for a Hungry World people in Honduras are getting a chance to have a home, guaranteed food on their table, children given an education and their parents are given a dream come true by owning their own business through Bread's micro-lending program. Amazing, amazing, amazing I tell you! We cannot wait to go back to see and hug our sweet friends, young and old that we got to spend a week with.

We think of them and pray for them all the time and whether you agree with the benefit of short term missions or not, all I can say is that when I see and hear Eva, my five year old asking about the people who live in the trash and that she wants to save her money to buy pillows for the kids in Honduras who don't have them and now she has seen with her own eyes what it's like to not have a house or a bed and you take cold showers everyday if you even have a bathroom, I have to say it's worth it. I'm continuing to pray for Eva's compassion, heart and spirit and that this is just the beginning for her of a life lived for Jesus and one who will be obedient to serve those in her own city and in other countries.

3) The Reese's back from Thailand

Ann, Derran, Brynn, Meg and our newest nephew Dax came to visit from Thailand during December and January. We stepped off the plane from Honduras to meet this little guy who made it back from Thailand two days before us!

Dax was born in Phayao, Thailand so we could.not.wait to get our hands on him. It about put me over the edge not to be there for his birth so I was so, so, so excited to finally get to hold him and snuggle with him when they came to Texas. He is the most precious thing and we just had the best time. Ann and Derran left to go back to Thailand 2 days ago so we've been pretty sad around here this week but we cherish all the fun we had while they were here. We had lots of family and cousin time, trips, shopping, time with friends, lots of Taco Bueno and Sonic (of course)and Brynn, Meg, Eva and Ella loved every minute of their time together. They are all so different, funny and sweet and it is fun to watch their relationships not skip a beat even though they live thousands of miles apart.

Such sweet cousins!

Uncle Rick and Dax...so handsome!

One of the many times we made cookies. I don't know if we ate more cookie dough or cookies. All I know is us Carders can do some damage on cookie dough, raw eggs do not scare us.

Crazy girls!
Needless to say, we had a wonderful time with the Reese's here and as usual it went by way too fast. I have way more pictures that I could post and somehow we did not get pictures of all of us adults but we had a fun time together too. :) We miss them so much already and can't wait until we can all be together again. You can keep up with them by going to my link to see and learn more about their lives in Thailand. More importantly I would just ask that you pray for them, their family and their work to build relationships and bring the love of Jesus to the people in Phayao, Thailand. They are doing an amazing work there and we're so proud of them and want to cover them in prayer by as many people as possible. We love you so much Ann, Derran, Brynn, Meg and Dax and are so, so proud of you and we miss you very much! Know that you are loved, loved, loved by us and so many here in the States!

4) More cousins and Family time
During the holidays we got to spend some good times with all of our cousins. On Rick's side of the family we got to see Caden, Emery and Adie. Eva and Ella ADORE these three and we are so thankful we got to spend some time together. They are so fun and Caden is about the funniest kid you've ever met! So sweet, polite and just flat out hilarious, the girls love their cousin Caden!

Caden and Emery

Eva and Emery...precious!

Oh my, these two are the cutest things! Ella and Adie are so funny together and Ella just adores cousin Adie! Just gonna go ahead and say that it was a crazy hair day for these two apparently. Love it!

All the cousins from my side of the family. So fun!

Here we all are...my family with my parents, all of my sisters and brother and ALL of the kids minus Dax and Carisyn. Love this picture!

This is really more like it right? :)

We had a great time all getting together since it doesn't happen that often. So thankful for family and the blessing they are! Well, this post is probably long enough and I feel better about myself finally posting something. Gotta start somewhere right? More to come!

Catching up with the Carders

2011-10-09T17:08:00.000-05:00

Well, there is much catching up to do! I'll just get right to it since it's been so long since I've posted. Lots has happened so here's an update on what's going on with our little family!

1. Ella

Sweet little Ella, this girl is just getting funnier and more amazing everyday. Now that she is three she thinks she is pretty big. She is just so sweet and is pure joy. She is so compassionate, wants to help, loves her friends and family and is just doing great! Health-wise she is great. She is eating good and we're still working on her weight. I had gotten kind of lax about really counting calories but her GI doctor gently reminded me at our last appointment that it's something I really need to continue to be vigilant about. Soooo, what does that mean? Yep, we started back with the ol Benecalorie and Bluebell ice cream nights again. :)Honestly, Bluebell should get a hold of Ella, she could really do some good marketing for them for the kids-who-need-to-gain-weight community. Anyway, she is good but she is very small and it's just something we need to keep working on.

At the end of August when Ella turned 3 she graduated from Early Childhood Intervention since they only serve children from birth to age 3. I asked them if they could just continue Ella's care until she is 5 but they said no. :) They provided dietician, physical and occupational therapy for the last 3 years! Oh my, talk about a hard day for me. It was bittersweet saying good-bye to these precious ladies. Since Ella came home from the hospital when she was 2 1/2 months old they were in our home every week. Sharon, Diane, Michelle and Chrisse became some of my dear friends and walked this journey we have been on with Ella in a very special way. They not only provided amazing care physically for her but they have cried with us, laughed, prayed and encouraged us every step of the way. They have been with me and cried with me on some of my darkest days and I will never forget how they believed in us and in Ella and all that she could do. They worked so hard! They went above and beyond in taking care of Ella and unfortunately I will compare her therapists to come with them because they were amazing! We love you ECI!!

So, now we are therapy free!! For the first time ever Ella has no therapy appointments. It's very weird but it is great just letting her be a little girl and play and enjoy life. We will re-evaluate how things are going probably in December as far as therapy and if we feel like she has regressed we may need to seek out some private therapy but for now her doctors say to give her a break and just let her be. Thank you Lord! So, we have had a fun time watching Ella take her first class ever, gymnastics!
She loves it and it's fun to watch her bop around with the other kids. At the same time, it is hard to watch her at times too because as great as she is doing, when you put her in a class with other kids her age it is a reminder to me how small she really is and that their are alot of things she struggles to do that the others do easily. I hate to even say that because I know there are so many other children who have much more severe struggles than Ella and it just sounds like I'm complaining, which I'm not. I want to be sensitive to that but I'm just saying that even on her best days physically there are some limitations due to weakness in her core because of the omphalocele and her shoulder. It's just hard for this mommy sometimes even among my thankfulness I can't ignore the fact that we live in a fallen world and because of that we have to face things like omphaloceles and deformities. I hate it but thank goodness for the hope of heaven right?? Anyway, so Miss Ella Hope continues to be a bright light and just a joy to our family and we're enjoying this time where we have less doctor's appointments and no therapy. We are so blessed!

2. Eva

And then there's Eva. Man, this girl also continues to make us laugh daily. She is one funny cat! I love being with my two girls, two pieces of heaven I tell you! Eva turned 5 in August and we decided to wait another year before starting kindergarten since she has such a late birthday.

We are enjoying our time together at home and she and Ella love being together!

Eva is such a good big sister to Ella, she takes great care of her except for the moments she chases Ella down for the sole purpose of trying to terrorize her by putting her naked bottom on her. Where does she come up with this stuff?? Sometimes I don't know if I should be disturbed or laugh, even though it is really funny to watch. I should get it on video to show her later when she is 25 because it's quite humorous but I don't really want to encourage the behavior. Shocking, I know, coming from someone who enjoys bathroom humor but I'm thinking this isn't necessarily something you want to egg your daughter on in doing to her sister.

Besides the naked bottom chases, Eva is just getting so big and she doesn't miss a beat. She is very observant, kind-hearted and loves making others feel special. She is asking more questions about Jesus and heaven and is really enjoying learning which just warms my heart. She is just so fun to be with and has quite the sense of humor and creative spirit. I love her so much!!

3. Moving/New House

Well, as I briefly mentioned before I think we sold our house that we had lived in the last 10 years at the end of July. We moved in with my parents and have been living with them since July. Bless their hearts! They have been amazing and rearranged their house so that we could all have a space. So sweet! I just feel bad for them as they are tripping over toys and their nap is interrupted by a little person standing next to them asking 20 questions. :) But, we did find a house that is in the same neighborhood as my parents, just 2 minutes away and we will be moving in probably in the next week or so! We are so excited! It's an older house so for the past 3 weeks we've been doing alot of work over there, some of it ourselves and the majority by our friends and contractor Jeff Polk and Trine Owen. They have done an awesome job! We've had walls moved, floors redone, and painted, and painted and painted! We can't wait to move in!

Rick demolishing all the tile! What a job...

The girls "helping" paint their new room. Yes, it is hot pink. Wow, remind me next time I want to paint a room with any color in the red family to think again. 3 coats later and we were good to go but good gravy it took awhile! I'll post some before and afters later because the transformation of this house really is great, it looks so different! Even though we loved our old house we are looking forward to a new place and a new beginning. We feel immensely blessed by how the Lord has continued to provide for us and we are looking forward to what purposes He has for us in this new house, neighborhood and community.

Other than that we're just waiting for my sister Ann to have her baby boy, Dax any day in Thailand. I can't stand not being there, makes me so sad. You can check their website on my link above for more on their lives in Thailand. We are soooo excited about our new nephew's arrival and can't wait to share pictures of his sweet face when we get them! And we're also looking forward to this guy's birthday! Tomorrow is Rick's birthday, Happy Birthday babe! We love you so much and are so thankful for the daddy and husband you are. We love you! And, don't you love solo pictures? Rick always takes random pictures of me when I'm not paying attention and I have some terrible look on my face or I look really awkward so I don't mind posting a glamour shot of him. :) More updates to come!

Birthday Girls

2011-08-30T14:42:00.010-05:00

Wow, it's the end of August! I've managed to go pretty much most of the summer without a blog post. I've got a lot of catching up to do! There is so much to blog about...we sold our house, we're living with my parents, bought a house, the girls birthdays. I will post about all those things and I did start a post about it all but I've kinda been in a writing funk lately. But, today I'm feeling the flow and have some thoughts I want to get out. I'm in one of my reflective, serious moods so watch out. :) You know how I get sometimes. It's all hitting me this month as it always does since both Eva and Ella both celebrate birthdays. Eva turned 5 on August 2nd and Ella turns 3 tomorrow, August 31st!!

Wow, I can't believe it. God has given us more than we could've dreamed, asked or imagined when He gave us Eva and Ella. I want to share some thoughts on both of the girls and I want to start with Eva because that is really where this journey began for our family. Many people know Eva's story but many don't and I don't think that I have shared it here before although I have alluded to it several times. I thank God numerous times for what He has done in the lives of both of my daughters but especially on their birthdays I am more reminded of His faithfulness, healing power, hope and life that He has given us. So I share this with you because I need to be reminded daily that He is faithful, He loves us dearly, He offers hope and healing and He can be trusted. I hope that by reading about what the Lord has done in Eva and Ella you will be encouraged and reminded of these things as well.

In January of 2006 we went to the doctor for our first ultrasound. We were very excited but our excitement quickly turned into our worst nightmare when we heard the doctor say that something was wrong with this precious life growing inside me. We learned that Eva had a life-threatening birth defect called a cystic hygroma. A cystic hygroma is a malformation of the lymphatic system which causes excess fluid to build up in the body until eventually it causes the heart to stop beating and the baby dies. On our ultrasound you could see Eva's sweet little body and a large fluid filled sac that started at the back of her head and went all the way down her back. Typically cystic hygromas are located in the neck region but hers was very large and went the length of her body. It looked like a big bubble attached to her body. After seeing my doctor, technicians and a specialist it was confirmed again and again that it was a cystic hygroma and they told us that 95-100% of these cases end in fetal demise or miscarriage. So at best, we were looking at maybe a 5% chance of survival and IF she survived the outcome was terrifying to hear what kinds of health problems she would face. The doctor patted my leg, handed me a tissue and said she was sorry. They told us they didn't know how long I would carry the baby, it could be a few days or a few months but the outcome was not good. We were told to come back in 2 weeks so they could monitor any changes so we left the doctor's office devastated, very sad and without hope.

I spent the next several days on my couch or in my bed crying, praying and really I wasn't even sure what to pray. During that time some of my very dear friends came over to visit, to comfort, to pray with me and to just walk with me through this. Rick also had talked with some of his very dear friends and our friends began praying for healing for Eva. To be honest at the time I had never thought to pray for healing. It pains me to say that because my relationship with God has changed so much since then and I can't believe how much I underestimated Him and left Him out. I don't know why, I guess because healing wasn't something that was talked about much in the circles I was a part of, I had never seen it happen (even though it happens all around us) and this situation with Eva seemed so hopeless. Hopeless by the world's definition, not hopeless for God. I didn't even give God a chance to speak a different way, I just believed what I had been told which was that this baby was not going to live.

After visiting with friends and praying Rick and I both started praying for healing for Eva. There was new hope for the first time since we found out the news of her cystic hygroma. We prayed daily for healing and our friends also joined us in that prayer. I remember one afternoon several days before we were to return for a check up I was sitting in my living room talking to God, listening to Him and writing in my journal. I was just pouring out my heart to Him and in a moment of silence as I was listening He told me clearly that afternoon that He had healed my baby! The God who dwells in unapproachable light spoke to me and He healed my child. How do you respond except with thankfulness and a desire to give Him all glory and praise!! I believed His words to be true and thanked Him for healing her and knew without a doubt that in that moment she was healed. I remember the moment as clear today as it was five years ago. I remember where I was sitting, how I was sitting, the moment He spoke her healed and how my body and heart felt. I waited in anticipation for our upcoming doctor's appointment because I knew that God was about to show himself in a big way when all would see a perfectly healthy baby on the ultrasound. The night before our appointment friends gathered around us and covered us in prayer. I walked into the doctor's office the next day with confidence, peace and no doubt about what the Lord had done with Eva. The technician and our specialist examined the ultrasound carefully and found no evidence of the cystic hygroma, it was completely gone! Our doctor exclaimed, "There is a God and He is good!" when she saw the ultrasound. We all cried tears of joy in thanks and praise to God for the miracle He performed in Eva. Rick and I left her office in tears but this time they were not tears of sadness but tears of overwhelming joy and amazement at the love of our God.

Little did I know that this journey with Eva of learning more about who God is and that there is nothing that is too hard for him was just the beginning of a refining and strengthening process in my faith walk. Everything with Eva set the stage in a sense for what was to come with Ella even though I didn't know it. I remember when we went in for our first ultrasound when I was pregnant with Ella. I was 8 weeks pregnant and very nervous because of what happened to Eva but everything looked normal so we sort-of breathed a sigh of relief. Deep down though I was still anxious and when we went back to the doctor at 4 weeks later I asked to have another sonogram. My doctor assured me that everything was fine and we didn't need to do one but to make me feel better she would do another ultrasound just for my peace of mind. Well, it was like reliving the nightmare with Eva all over again. It was the same room, same doctor, same dreaded words again that something was wrong. This time I was so hurt, disappointed and angry. I couldn't believe that this was all happening again and that God would let it happen. I really had no words I was just angry, hurt and sad.

After we got over the initial shock of the news that Ella had an omphalocele we obviously prayed daily even up until the end of my pregnancy that God would heal Ella. His answer to that was no and even though I don't understand why He chooses to heal some and not others I do know that He is trustworthy no matter what. As I think back to the night Ella was born 3 years ago I am overwhelmed by what the Lord has done in our life. My words are just not good enough to describe my thankfulness for how much He loves us and for what He has brought us through and given us. The night of Ella's birth was not the sweet, beautiful, perfect, special time that every mother hopes for when they give birth. The night she was born was the scariest, hardest, emotional and most traumatic time Rick and I have had in our marriage so far.

On August 31, 2008 I went to the hospital because I had been having severe headaches and upper abdominal pain for two days. It was three weeks before my due date and we had no idea that this would be the day that Ella would come into the world. After running some tests it showed that my blood pressure was sky high and my doctor told me we were going to do a c-section that night. They took me down and starting prepping me for surgery when I had a suffered a seizure due to eclampsia. This is very rare and I got sick so fast that none of us saw this coming even though I was being heavily monitored by doctors. After the seizure I remembered nothing from that night except what Rick has told me. I was completely out of it and he remembers talking to me as they were rushing me down the hall for an emergency c-section and he says that I was unresponsive and lifeless, my eyes were glazed over. He had no idea what was happening or if Ella and I were even going to survive. It makes my heart hurt to think of all he went through that night! I, of course, do not remember any of this and it took a long time after Ella was born for Rick to even talk to me about it. I would ask questions about that night but it was just too hard for him to relive it all so it took time before we could really talk about it. That night at 7:30 pm Ella Hope was born. Rick was not able to be in the delivery room due to the severity of the situation and I of course was put under so I in a sense was not there either. Rick caught a glimpse of Ella when they wheeled her out in her isolette on the way to the NICU. He saw for the first time her beautiful face and then the reality of what we had been trying to prepare for for months. There it was, her sweet little face then the rest of her body wrapped in a plastic bag and through it you could see a dark mass covering her abdomen which was the the sac holding her liver, intestines and stomach.

That night was the start of this seemingly very long and hard journey that we have been on with Ella for the past 3 years. So as I think about her being 3 years old and all that has happened in her short life I am just overwhelmed with the faithfulness and love of our Lord. My mind wanders to and relives those moments that I can remember from her birth and the days that followed in the hospital and I hardly have words for it. But more than that my heart just goes straight to God and wants His Glory to be made known for how he has brought us through some very dark valleys and only by His grace, mercy and love are we who we are today. He gives us life and light through his Son Jesus and I am blown away at his everlasting, unending love. When I look at Eva and Ella I see two little pieces of heaven here on earth and wonder why I am so blessed that He entrusted them to me. Through our joys and struggles with both of them I have learned more about God and what this life is really all about. Our hard days with Ella have given me perspective and I'm glad for it because I see the world different now than I did before August 31, 2008. We have all been changed through the gifts he has given our family in Eva and Ella.

Eva's name means "Life" and Ella's name means "A bright light." So fitting aren't they? I think so. :) So, on this night I thank God again for life, for my daughter's two precious lives and for His light that shines in the darkness and is NEVER overcome by it. Thank you Lord!!

Adventures in Thailand: Food, Family, Fun

2011-06-20T11:24:00.015-05:00

We had lots of good food and family fun during our time in Thailand. My mouth is just watering for more good Thai food. We had such a fun time playing, swimming, eating, talking, touring around Phayao and just being together. We'll start with a recap of some of our food experiences. Soooo good!

This was our favorite restaurant in Phayao. It sits looking out over Lake Phayao and has great food. We feasted on lime slushes (my fave, Sonic's got nothing on these! They are awesome!) passion fruit slushes, lightly battered morning glory, rice, chicken wrapped in banana leaves, stir-fryed vegetables, some soup Derran ordered that had fresh shrimp with the eyes, legs and tails still on them. I did not partake of this one. I'm not a seafood girl and the last time I tried something that Rick told me was "not fishy at all" I started dry-heaving in the restaurant. Awkward. So I passed on the soup because I didn't want a repeat dry-heaving experience and I just don't eat things that have eyes staring back at me out of a bowl.

This was our other favorite little place to get food. It's just a roadside stall set up outside of Lotus, which is the Thai version of our Wal-mart store. They make the best smoked chicken, sticky rice and som-tham which is a salad type dish made from thinly sliced papaya with lots of added spices. Oh.my.word. Delicious!!

Who needs a grill when all you really need is a metal barrel or trash can cut in half, something to put it on and some hot coals. Walah! You've got the best smoked chicken in town. I wish this guy was set up outside my Walmart, I would go there every week!

Making the som-tham. Yummy!

Ann ordering our food

While we were there we got to be a part of their team's taste-testing their brick oven pizza. Hallelujah! The Carders loooove pizza so we were more than happy to test out some different kinds of pizza. Ann and Derran and their team are opening up a pizza restaurant in Phayao this summer as part of their ministry and work there. You can read more about their ministry and vision for the restaurant by clicking here. So amazing!

Derran and Rick manning the brick oven ( their team built this oven themselves, very impressive!)

Ann helping measure out the cheeses

Chris making a pizza

Eva and Ella loved the pizza!! Delicious!

One night we were there we had a fun gender reveal party for Ann and Derran's baby number 3. We were so happy to be able to be in Thailand when they found out what they were having and we celebrated with a fun party and lots of yummy food...brisket made in the brick oven, mashed potatoes, garlic bread, corn and lots of cupcakes! Click here to read about the party and to see a short, fun video of the big reveal!

The girls favorite place to eat was KFC. Why would you eat here when you've got all this great food around?? Every so often when they kids had just had enough peanut butter and jelly (which is all Eva ate the entire time we were there, I don't think she tried Thai food once) we would take the kids to KFC which is inside Lotus, their Wal-mart store. Let the stare-fest and rubbernecking begin. Oh my goodness! It was just too much for 4 little blonde and blue-eyed girls to be walking around when there are really just a handful of foreigners in all of Phayao. People would stand at the window in crowds to stare and take pictures of the girls while they ate their lunch. Hilarious! Either the girls didn't seem to notice or they are experts at ignoring people. The drew lots of attention on our many trips to Lotus!

At the end of our trip we spent two days in Chiang Mai before we left and had lots of fun there. More to come about that. But we also ate at some great places, one being a Mexican food restaurant of all things. It really was so good!

Mexican food in northern Thailand...who knew?

Of course it wouldn't be a trip to Chiang Mai without stopping at Dunkin' Donuts a few times! Mmmm. Love it!

Our other favorite place was a restaurant called Lemon Tree. I was in heaven with my lime slush and stir-fryed vegetables. Yumm-o!

This picture makes my heart swell! Can you believe it?? Here is little Ella Hope Carder across the world in Thailand eating Thai food! Is this the same child that almost 3 years ago was laying in a bed in the NICU waiting for her stomach to be put back in her body? Is this the same child who had a feeding tube for most of her short life so far? Is this the same child who didn't eat anything and vomited everything for the first year of her life? Is it?? I'm in awe and a big lump is in my throat just thinking about it all and thanking God for what He's done in Ella's life. I could never have imagined that Ella would be able to sit at a table in another country, feeding tube free, no safety nets and eat Thai food. God is so good! Let this be a testimony to the goodness of our Lord. Wow!

On to family and fun! We played alot at Derran and Ann's house and the girls just had a great time building pillow forts, playing baby dolls, having tea parties and swimming. Lots of good cousin time, that will have to be another post.

Swimming and playing in the water in the front yard. Pretty much consisted of Eva hogging the water hose to wash her bike, Brynn and Ella just having a great time and Meg sulking in her tub of water. Hilarious!

When we weren't swimming we went to the market, walked around the aquarium and of course took many trips to Lotus. :) I guess if you don't have a Target to stroll around then Lotus is the next best option.

Eva checking out the goods at the Phayao market

Rick checking out the dried fish. Shooooey! I love Thai markets because you've got the umbrella stall right next to the fresh shrimp or you can pick up a new watch and at the same time get yourself some dried squid or fish at the vendor right next to it. Love it! I don't love the smell though. They've got anything and everything...like these fabulous shoes!

Are these not the greatest?? If you can't tell they have like big toes with claws on them. I spotted these on a grown woman at Lotus and told Ann I needed to know asap where we could buy some. I think the lady at the market probably thought I was crazy since I bought 10 pairs in different colors. Guess what friends and family got for souvenirs from Thailand? That's right, "Dragon shoes" as the girls called them for everyone! It's so funny because you will see grown men at the mall, on their motorcycles, at the construction site and they will be wearing pink "dragon shoes." Awesome!

Here's the circus all walking in to Lotus for a little KFC. So cute and what a sight!

I love this one of Ella! Precious with her little umbrella and heels!

And here we are at the aquarium. Fun and interesting...

Aren't the fish beautiful?? Wait, can you not see them? Is this not hilarious? Ann took us down to this outdoor underwater tunnel part of the aquarium to look at some dirty water and maybe catch some shadows of a fish as they swam by. Oh man, so great. You cannot see the fish at all. You might get lucky to catch a glimpse of a shadow of one if they swim close enough to the glass every once and while. I'm telling you if you're ever in Phayao, the outdoor section of the aquarium is a must-see! :)

Oh, such good times! We are missing Thailand so much everyday. The girls talk about Brynn and Meg and how they miss them everyday! So thankful for such great memories together.

You better not be tired of Thailand stories because we've got elephant rides and more cousin time still to document!

Adventures in Thailand: Transportation-Safe or Not Safe?

2011-06-07T16:54:00.000-05:00

Yes, transportation in Thailand gets a post all it's own. Now, you know us Carders and how we are known for apparently being safe as evidenced by our numerous safety plates that we own. Do I need to remind everyone about our safety plates?? Well, getting around in Thailand I would say that safety is out the window on many occasions. I don't know, you decide safe or not safe?

1. Side-saddle to the Salon
Safety Precautions: none besides my kung-fu grip on Derran's shoulder and an extra tuck in or two for my skirt so it doesn't fly up over my head
Safety status: semi safe but did not feel so safe

So, this is the second day we are in Phayao. We are a little jet-lagged and I'm needing to wash my hair. I had been putting it off because frankly folks, I've got a lot of hair and it just takes a lot of energy sometimes to wash, dry and style it. And, it has some natural curl and can be very big...Rick lovingly calls me Tina Turner. I'll come out of the bathroom after blowdrying it at night and he'll say, "Whoa, hey Tina, nice hair." Thanks Rick. Anyway, so I didn't feel like doing my hair so Ann tells me I should go to their little beauty salon and the lady there will wash my hair, give me a head massage, dry and style it for me. She had me at head massage...that sounds like a fabulous plan! Especially since Ann's adapter wasn't working and the hair-dryer and flat-iron wouldn't work anyway since the voltage is different. Rick couldn't understand why I would go and pay for someone to wash my hair for me when it's something I could do myself but I kindly ignored him. :) I was focused on the head massage. Anyway, so then Ann kindly volunteered Derran to take me on the motorcycle. This is funny because I later found out that Ann hasn't been on the motorcycle in over a year but she sure was Johnny-on-the-spot ready for me to take a ride on it the second day I was there AND in a skirt! Thank you, Ann. Thanks.

Aaannnd these are the children's faces as they are watching me leave on the motorcycle. Utter confusion. If that doesn't say it all I don't know what does.

So, Derran takes me to the salon with a little stop off at 7-11 for a coke...which he held in his hand WHILE driving the motorcycle. This adds to the safety concerns already in place. I am just thinking while we're going: don't fall off, try not to lose a flip-flop, Dear Lord please don't let my skirt fly up, ease up your grip on Derran's shoulder, don't fall off, I really hope no one hits us, why didn't I think to wear a helmet?, don't fall off. Derran is a great driver by the way! We made it to the salon in one piece and I got my hair washed with a great head massage, dried and styled for oh...around $3 including tip!! So great! However, before you think I am that vain and care this much about my hair I will tell you that the rest of the trip I did my hair myself and just went with my Tina Turner do for two weeks thanks to no hair-dryer or flat-iron. I must say that it was kind of refreshing not to fix my hair everyday, maybe not so refreshing to look at but it was great with me!

2. Best Friends Forever
Safety Precautions: helmets...good job boys!
Safety status: Who cares because this is an AWESOME story!

This is how Rick and Derran cruised around town on most days. They would take the motorcycle to the office, to run errands, to rescue Ann's misplaced and stolen iphone! Ok, this story is great. This is the third day we are in Phayao and Ann misplaces her iphone that she has only had for two months. By the time she remembers it is too late. We searched for it close to their house but did not find it so thanks to Find My iphone App we pull up the GPS on their computer. We see her phone icon and it's MOVING!! Someone has it and it has now become a stolen iphone! Rick and Derran jump on the Hog and take off to go track down the perp. Ann and I stay at home with the girls and keep our eyes glued to the computer. For you 24 fans out there it was totally like 24. :) Ann and I felt like Chloe back at CTU watching the satellite feed and giving the boys instruction while Derran and Rick aka Jack Bauer and friends were driving like bats all around town trying to find the target. Anyway, so the perp and Ann's stolen iphone show up on the GPS at 7-11, BAM! Derran and Rick are there and start questioning bystanders, searching the bathroom, searching trash cans. No one's giving any info but they know it's there! Well, so the GPS shows that it hasn't moved from 7-11 for 40 minutes or so which made us all think someone is either standing there with it in their pocket or it's stashed on a shelf somewhere. Come to find out if the phone is moving too much or too fast or something the GPS wouldn't update until the phone stopped moving enough so it made it look like it was at 7-11 the whole time but in fact it wasn't. Very confusing but we learned quickly what was going on, don't you worry!

All of a sudden, finally Ann and I see that the satellite updated and the phone is on the move again and it is now in another part of town! So Derran and Rick jump on the motorcycle again and chase it down to a business school and of course no one there seems to know anything about a missing phone which is weird because as they are talking to people at the business school three guys take off on motorcycles and all go in different directions. Very suspicious! The phone then shows up in a neighborhood somewhere but the boys can't track it. So, they come home and we're all feeling a little deflated but still watching the computer screen for any satellite updates and hoping that maybe, just maybe this isn't over. We're sitting around talking for awhile when wouldn't you know the satellite refreshes and the perp with the phone is on the move AGAIN! This time it was headed into the market area in Phayao which could only mean that they were headed for the cell phone store in the market to sell it. Aaaah! Here we go again, we're shouting for the boys to Go!Go!Go! and they hop back on the motorcycle and drive like crazy down to the market and cell phone store. Will they get there in time to stop the perp from selling it??

No! They don't but don't despair my friends, this isn't over. Not with Derran's mad interrogating-Thai-speaking skills. First, Rick tries to scope out the scene so he walks into the cell phone store first trying to act like a clueless American and asks, "Iphone 4?" to which the lady replies that they have a second-hand iphone 4. So now Derran walks in and asks the same question and the lady tells him no, they don't have one. Oh, tell me lies tell me sweet little lies! Meanwhile the owner of the store is basically hiding in the back trying to buy his time so he doesn't have to talk to Derran but finally decides to come out after sweet-little-lying girl can't keep up their lies about the fact that they've said they did not just buy an iphone 4 when it fact the GPS shows it's in their store. Anyway, long story short, after police and jail time are thrown into the conversation, xeroxed pictures of the perp's drivers license are suspiciously passed across the counter to Derran from the store owner and he's told multiple times to just "Go find her" to get his phone back Derran doesn't cave. He stands his ground and doesn't buy into the lies meanwhile doing all of this in Thai. The owner finally admits to having bought the phone for several hundred dollars from a girl claiming her aunt gave it to her and that he has the phone. After much more conversation Derran gets the phone back which has already been wiped, puts it in his pocket and walks out the door without having to pay a thing to get it back.

This whole drama story began around 1:30 pm and Rick and Derran didn't get home until 7:30pm but they had the phone in hand! Unbelievable. All day this went on, motorcycle chase around town, interrogating multiple people, the lies, the deceit, police and jail threats. I'm telling you it was one crazy day. We thought they would be exhausted when they got home and they were to an extent but Rick's face and response when they walked in the door was hilarious. With wide eyes and a huge smile he says, "This is what I'm talking about! This kind of stuff never happens in the States!" Hilarious. Then we all re-hashed the story and got all the juicy details from what really went down at the cell phone store. It was awesome and will not be forgotten! Thanks for losing your phone Ann, it made for some great memories! :)

3. Get in where you fit in
Safety Precautions: seatbelts...sort of
Safety Status: safe...sort of considering the circumstances

So this is pretty much the set up for getting places when we were in Thailand except with the four girls in the back just squeeze Ann and I back there too and we're golden. Ann and Derran have a four door truck so most of the time it was 6 people in the back sharing seatbelts and kids on laps and the other two people in the front seat. I mean, just look at this picture and how seatbelts are all funky behind the seats so as not to strangle the little ones and are pulled as far as they can go to strap across two people in the middle. Who needs a carseat? This works great!

At least they all have a Coke Slurpee from 7-11 to make them happy. That always helps when you're squished, hot and sticky in a car full of people right? Rrrriiiight.

4. Night Time Vespa Ride
Safety Precautions: helmets
Safety Status: double not safe

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder right? Don't be fooled, this is Thailand, you never know what you might see or ride in. One of Ann and Derran's team mates, Chris and Tonya Fikes have a Vespa with a side-car, which is hilarious and fantastic. Well, I was dying to take a ride in it so Chris drove us home one night so we could take a spin in it.

As if Rick and I squished in there together isn't bad enough, let's add Eva to the mix shall we? Just when you thought things weren't so safe to begin with why don't we up the anty by carrying a small child on our lap. I mean hello, what were we thinking? My ridiculous leg is hanging out because it can't even fit in the side car but let's take Eva with us, this will be fun! Good night in the morning! The first two minutes of the ride I thought, yeah, this is fun and then soon after that I was just thinking, this is just plain irresponsible! Ella was riding with Ann and Derran in the truck and the three of us were riding in the side car at night on the main road/highway that runs through town to get back to Ann and Derran's house. Eva was having a blast laughing and flapping her arms like a bird and I was just praying that we wouldn't fall out and that no one would hit us. People were passing us and laughing which is interesting to me considering the things Thai people do and put on their motorcycles. It is very common to see a family of 4 or 5 people on one small motorcycle. The dad may be driving with a toddler in his lap while the mom is holding a small infant and another toddler...none of them will be wearing helmets. Not kidding. You will see dogs on the motorcycle or maybe a woman leaving the market with bags of vegetables hanging from the handle bars and crates piled high behind her with food. It is beyond belief! So the fact that they were laughing at us is funny to me, I mean, I know we look ridiculous but still. It was another fun memory!

5. Two's company Three's a crowd
Safety Precautions: helmets
Safety Status: safe?

Three is definitely not a crowd if the third person is sweet little Meg Reese with her cute ladybug motorcycle helmet! Is she not the most precious thing? And probably the bravest one out of all of us. She loves to ride the motorcyle with her Daddy!

6. Who needs a carseat anyway?
Safety precautions: must stay seated at all times
Safety status: I'm thinking not so safe

At the end of our trip we spent 2 days in Chiang Mai which is about 2 1/2 hours away from Phayao. One of our dear friends that lives there, Robert Reagan graciously let us stay at their house and borrow his car to cruise around town. It is a pick up that has a covered back with bench seating. Fabulous! The girls loved riding around town in it. We did make Ella and Meg sit in the front in the carseats for some of the time but they got to ride around with the big girls in the back too. Umm, so probably not very safe considering it's basically letting your small children ride around in the bed of a pick up truck all day while you cruise around town, go out on the highway and drive up a mountain for 45 minutes but hey it's a different country so there are different rules. :)

We all loved it and it was a nice break from being squished on top of each other in Ann and Derran's truck.

7. If you like Pina Colada's and getting caught in the rain
Safety precautions: none
Safety Status: not safe

Well, there were definitely no pina coladas but there was rain on these two poor boys stuck in the back of the truck. On our way to Chiang Mai from Phayao we only had one car for all of us plus all of our luggage. We were flying out of Chiang Mai to go back home so it was tricky figuring out how to fit all of us in Derran and Ann's truck and all the luggage. Well, Derran and Rick drew the short straws so they sat back in the back with all the luggage for the 2 1/2-3 hour drive on a small, very curvy highway through the mountains from Phayao to Chiang Mai. Lots of bonding time! And lots of prayers on my part for their safety. It rained for a lot of the time but they were good sports. They look happy right? I mean, what were our options? Eva was already on my lap in the front seat, Brynn was in the back between Meg and Ella in carseats for once so there really wasn't anything else we could do. All I can say is it's just making memories!

8. Take me on a Tuk-Tuk Ride
Safety precautions: none except holding on tight
Safety status: I don't know, depends on how you feel about riding around in a car that only has 3 wheels, no doors and has motorcycle handle bars for a steering wheel

If you are ever in Thailand or another Asian country you must take a ride in a Tuk-Tuk! No doors, no seatbelts, open air which is great when you're sitting in hot traffic at a standstill. I mean Tuk-Tuks would make Chinese fire drills SO much easier wouldn't they? You wouldn't have to mess with the whole door thing. Anyway, we took a ride around town in Chiang Mai just so the girls could experience it. It was so fun.

Such fun memories! Glad we are all safe and no one fell off a motorcycle or out of a car. Can't wait for more fun times with you Reese family!!

Adventures in Thailand: The Journey

2011-06-02T12:27:00.000-05:00

Well, I've decided to do my posts about Thailand in parts because I want to document our trip there. I'm starting from the very beginning, beginning with our long plane ride all the way to Phayao. I feel like that is just as much part of the memory as well so here we go. If you could care less about this than feel free to exit out now but since my brain and abilities can't handle scrapbooking and I rarely print pictures this is how I want to document our fun times. :)

Rick and I have been saving our air miles for oh...the past eight years! I'm not kidding. So, all four of our tickets were bought with air miles so all we had to pay for were the processing fees! Unbelievable, we were so excited that after eight years of saving it actually worked to redeem them because there was a small fear that it might not work. So great! Alright, so we left for DFW airport on May 6th, veeerrrry early in the morning. We somehow made it from remote parking onto the shuttle to our terminal with just Rick and I, the girls and all seven of our bags. Ridiculous. Now, Rick and I both admit neither one of us are known to be light packers but don't think that all of these bags were just for us. We only had two bags for our family and the other 5 and every little space, pocket and crevice was jammed packed with goodies for The Reese's and their team. I'm telling you we had everything from Ranch dressing, Dr. Peppers and Cheetos to cooking utensils, ipod speakers, homeschool curriculum and a carseat base. You name it we had it tucked into a suitcase somewhere. We were packed to the gills and just hoping the nice people at the American Airlines counter were in a good mood early in the morning to let a couple of L-beez slide on the scale. Each bag by the way weighed around 50 pounds and a few were a little over the weight limit. So that's what? Around 350 pounds we were taking? Yeah, so our luggage pretty much took up most of the shuttle getting us to the terminal but there were some nice people on the shuttle who helped us with our luggage. Really I think they just felt sorry for us struggling with two small children, carry-ons and 7 huge pieces of luggage at 5 am. They jokingly at one point offered to pray for us. Really? Did we look that wheels off?

Anyway, we got checked in and they even let us go to the front of the line to go through security which was awesome because the line was a mile long! We had plenty of time to get to our gate, eat some breakfast and just let the girls play.

Waiting at our gate at DFW to head to San Francisco

Watching for our plane

Awww, sweet Rick entertaining the troops. Mom is not so fun early in the morning so Rick gets to be the one fun one. For the record, I am not a morning person. I really want to be and I thought that once I became an adult I would automatically like coffee and getting up early but that has yet to happen. I am better though than I used to be and I can say that I don't have quite the foul attitude I used to have when having to get up early but I am still sllooow to wake up.

So, we had a 3 1/2 hour flight to San Francisco then a 3 hour lay over there. Enough time to once again eat and play. And, Rick got us some fabulous neck pillows that saved our life on our 14 hour flight from San Francisco to Hong Kong. He looked like a pack mule walking around the airport with his backpack, carrying Eva's backpack and the two neck pillows clipped to his pants. Hysterical, he has no shame. Why didn't I get a picture?? Oh, yeah, probably because I was still trying to wake up.

I mean, look at my eyes...hello, am I sleep walking? Tired eyes!

Eva and Ella waiting to board our HUGE Cathay Pacific flight to Hong Kong. I'm telling you this plane was enormous, one of those ones with an upstairs!

Yeah, in case you glossed over that gem of info back there, 14 HOURS! Wow, it was long folks. BUT, I have to say that the girls did exceptionally well! Eva and Ella are very laid back and flexible anyway but this is just the ultimate test and they did great! I cannot complain at all. They watched movies, colored, took several trips back and forth to the bathroom to play in the sink and Ella played with her seatbelt for a good 45 minutes so that helped. :) Plus, our sweet, thoughtful and amazing friend Suzanne packed the girls a super fun bag FULL of crafts, stickers, books, magnetic stuff, finger puppets, etc. She tried to think of 28 things for our 28 hour flight! Is that the best or what?? The girls loved their goodies and it helped to pass the time, thank you Suzanne!! And really, they also slept alot. I slept alot. I didn't watch one movie or read one book. I don't know, it's like when I get on an airplane I suddenly feel very tired. I don't know if they were blowing something through the air vents into the cabin to make me sleepy but all I wanted to do was sleep. Good thing I had my incredible neck pillow eh? Thanks babe!

Here we are on our own row at the VERY back of the plane ready for a fun 14 hour journey!

Finally, we arrived in Hong Kong and had annnoother 3 hour lay over there. I did not get any pictures there for some reason. Oh yeah, I was pretty much asleep for most of that time. Ok, I know it sounds like I'm sleeping alot and you're probably wondering if poor Rick was left alone to watch the girls. It does sound like that! Ha! I WAS very helpful and was taking care of my children but I also was able to sleep. Anyway, so quick random and funny Hong Kong airport story for you besides the one where as soon as we deplaned in Hong Kong a security agent wearing a mask pointed her thermometer gun at Ella's head to take her temperature before letting us to our gate. Besides that, here's the other funny story and again, I wish I would've taken a picture of our "friends" we made but I was not functional. Ok, so picture this. I am layed out on a bench, I mean LAYED out, with my trusty neck pillow, Eva's blanket, shoes off asleep. ASLEEP. Next thing I know Rick is waking me up with this weird smile on his face and is saying, "We're going to take a picture." I could not figure out what he was saying or doing but he was helping me sit up and telling me we were going to take a picture. What in the world? I'm doing the whole one-eye-open-half-asleep thing still and out of my open eye I see two little chinese ladies, one is holding Ella and the other is ready with her camera and is nodding and smiling at me. I was soooo confused! Rick is still looking at me with his weird smile that says "I have no idea what's going on" while I am literally rubbing my eyes and trying to smooth my hair for a picture with our "friends." Oh man, hilarious! These two sweet ladies did not speak English and of course we do not speak Chinese but apparently they both had daughters around Eva and Ella's ages and they wanted a picture of us to show their families. They wanted to video tape the girls speaking in English but after being held, pinched and having their tummies rubbed(not kidding) by two strangers speaking a different language I think a video was just too much to ask. So, somewhere floating around Hong Kong are pictures of the Carder family with me doing my one-eye-open-half-asleep bit and two nice little Chinese ladies. Love it! Sorry I don't have a picture to show you, I'm kicking myself, the whole scenario was hilarious.

From there we got on our flight from Hong Kong to Bangkok which was I think maybe an hour and half to two hours. We arrived in Bangkok at around 10:30 pm or so I think, went through immigration, got all our bags and went to find our shuttle to the hotel.

Happy to be off the plane and finally be in Thailand!

Heading to go find our other 7 bags

We stayed at The Grand Convenience Hotel in Bangkok, don't you love that name? I think it's so funny especially because it's not like it's super convenient to the airport. It was a 20 minute shuttle ride away. Love it! But, I will say that other than that it was great, the hotel was nice and the shuttle service was on time and it was a great place to just spend the night if you're needing to get up the next morning to catch a flight.

All of our bags at The Grand Convenience...after they smashed them in the elevator a few times trying to get them all in. Only a few things broke on the suitcases but hey, at least they got them all to our room in one trip right? Good grief.

We all slept great and got up the next morning, headed back to the airport and got on our flight to Chiang Rai where Ann and Derran would pick us up.

Mother's Day picture with my girls in the Bangkok airport waiting to board our last flight

We made it to Chiang Rai and after days of traveling finally got to see our sweet Brynn and Meg!

The girls were so excited to see their cousins! They held hands all the way to the car.

Derran loading our bags into their truck and covering them with a tarp for the hour long trip to Phayao

We stopped for lunch in Chiang Rai and then drove an hour to Phayao to Ann and Derran's house. It was so fun to FINALLY be in Phayao in person and see where they live.

Ann and Derran's house

Ann and I's Mother's Day flowers waiting at their house for us when we got there. Sooo sweet!!
That night we went to their house church at the Fikes house (one of their teammates) where they did a lesson for the kids, shared a meal together and then had a lesson for the adults. It was all in Thai and it was so neat to even see the kids singing and reading the Bible in Thai. They are doing such an amazing job!

This is just the beginning and I'm impressed if you made it to the end. I have lots more to share so get ready!

We're Back!

2011-05-24T16:11:00.007-05:00

What a month it has been! So much has happened since my last post and there is much to blog about. I have a lot of catching up to do! Aaaah! Since my last post our life has been a tad crazy! The end of April Rick and I spent 5 days in Atlanta at a conference, came home and three days later put our house on the market on May 5th and the next morning, May 6th the Carder fam got up at 4:30 am to head to the airport to go to Thailand. So, there ya have it, that's my excuse for not blogging for over a month. Wowsers, I would say that this is just the way we roll but in fact this is not the way we like to roll. It has been crazy and we much prefer things to be a little more calm but it's all exciting and good things so it's ok.

So, backing up, yes, our house is officially on the market so if you or anyone you know is looking for a great 3 bedroom/two bathroom house with a neighborhood pool and two parks nearby let me know! We love this house, the location and neighborhood but we are wanting to move closer to Rick's work so we'll see what happens. You can be praying about this for us! Anyway, our plan was to put the house on the market the day before we left for Thailand in hopes that while we were gone for two weeks it would be ready for people to look at. Great plan right? Sure, well wouldn't you know that for two weeks it was spotless and no one came and the day after we got back from Thailand when our suitcases were spilling out and covering our dining room, laundry was hanging up everywhere, STUFF was out everywhere, THIS was the time someone decided to come. Lovely. We didn't get the courtesy call in time so some sweet family came and looked at our messy house. Nothing says "Welcome to our Home" quite like wet clothes hanging in the entry hall and suitcases all over the floor. Oh well, that's how it goes sometimes.

Anyway, we got home this past Friday, May 20th from Thailand and just had the most amazing time! Wow, what an incredible trip we had and it was such a special and blessed time being with Derran, Ann, Brynn and Meg. Everything went so smoothly, the girls did great on the flights, no one got sick and Eva and Ella didn't skip a beat being in a new culture where everything is different. Eva even readily wanted to use squatty potty's so I would say culture shock was not a problem! I can't wait to share about our adventures so get ready for several posts on Thailand. I took over 500 pictures so I'm just giving you a heads up that you're going to get an earful. :) We are still getting adjusted to the time change since it is 12 hours difference and I would say that we are almost 100% functional. I'm telling you, this jet-lag business is for the birds! Brrruutal! The first day back Eva and Ella were up at 3:30am...for the day. I don't think I even need to say that this is not cool but I will anyway. Not cool. The next day it was 5 am which is better. The next day was 6:30 and today Eva was up at 6 and Ella got up a little after 7 am so we are definitely moving in the right direction. Keep pushing it back girls, push it back! I will say though that I am so thankful we are struggling with jet-lag on this end instead of while we were in Thailand. We were only there for 11 days and one of my prayers was that we wouldn't waste time with sleep issues/jet-lag and that prayer was answered. The girls got up the first day we were there at 5 am but after that they did great. That seems like a small thing but I really wanted to be able to make the most of our time there and we did so I'm so thankful.

There is much to share so when I get my act together I'll post more about our trip. I can already feel myself slipping into a little bit of a funk and we've been back less than a week. I miss my sister and neices SO much already. My heart hurts and longs for more time with them. I'm so grateful, blessed and thankful that we got to spend 11 days with them. I feel like now that I've experienced their life in Thailand first-hand I know better how to pray. We love you Ann, Derran, Brynn and Meg and miss you like crazy! We're so proud of you and your commitment to the people in Phayao. We can't wait to see you again and for our next trip to Thailand. Love you, love you!!

Stay tuned, more to come from our Thailand trip involving elephant rides, motorcycle chase, amazing food, and lots and lots of cousin time!

Easter, New Niece, Ella Before & After, and What's Next

2011-04-24T16:54:00.018-05:00

So much to catch up on in this post! This will be my highlights of April post as you can tell from my title there is lots to talk about. We'll start first with Easter since that was today!
So, Happy Easter Everyone! I trust it's been a wonderful day celebrating our risen Lord and the hope we have in Him! What an incredible reason we have to celebrate! Every day I am blown away by the love our God has for each of us that He would send His only son to earth, Jesus, who by his choice took our sins and died for us so that we would have eternal life with him! He is alive and he lives in us and gives us everlasting life!! What a gift, thank you Lord! We had a great Easter weekend spending time with family and friends. On Saturday we went to the annual Como Easter Egg Hunt and BBQ down in Como which is an inner city community here in Fort Worth. Some of our very dear friends have partnered with the community center there to put on the Egg Hunt and BBQ for the past couple of years and more importantly just to be there to love on people and let them know Jesus loves them. It is always a blessing to be a part of it, we look forward to going every year! Much to my disappointment though we did not get pictures with the Easter Bunny this year. :( I decided to resist the urge to traumatize my children by making them get their picture made with him since Ella was hiding behind me if he was anywhere around and Eva settled for giving him a friendly high-five and that folks, was our EB experience for 2011. It was a fun day!

Lined up ready for the big Egg Hunt!

Eva hunting eggs with her friend Ellie

Ella wanted to spend most of her time in the bounce house...wasn't so into hunting eggs.
On Sunday we had another little egg hunt for the girls at my parents house. So fun!
Are these two little girls not the sweetest things you've ever seen?? My mom made them these precious Easter dresses. I just love them!! Thank you Mimi, we love you!

Kisses from my girls!

Mimi and Pawpaw

I just love this picture. They are so sweet together!

Up next, my little sister and her husband Ryan had their baby girl Carisyn Esther on April 6. I am excited to be an aunt again and the girls are SUPER excited about their new baby cousin.

I mean is she not the most beautiful little baby?? We can't get over her cuteness and we just love her to pieces!

The girls looooved seeing Carisyn, playing with her tiny hands and admiring her FULL head of gorgeous hair! Ella wanted to hold her constantly, so sweet!

We can't wait for more cousin time with our little Carisyn, we're so glad she's here!

Alright, we need an update on little Ella don't we? Thank you again for all of your prayers for her surgery and recovery. She did not miss a beat with this one! It really was amazing and we are just so thankful for a smooth surgery and an unbelievably quick recovery. We had a follow up appointment last week and all looks good. Her incision looks great and all is well! Such an answer to prayer! She's so funny because everyday after her surgery when I would get her dressed I would ask her how her tummy was feeling. Well, after about two or three days of me asking her that every morning she finally starting beating me to the punch and as soon as I would go to take her shirt off she would pipe up "My tummy feels ok." Hilarious. She knew what I was going to say before I said it! Sweet little girl!

Here's a little before and after pics for you. You know how I love before and afters.

Before. This is what the g-button site looked like after they removed it. It kind of looks like a belly button...just in the wrong spot. :) Sort of funny because Ella doesn't have a belly button (all babies with omphaloceles are born without belly buttons)but the g-button site made it look like she did but it was just way over to the side in a weird place. Awesome...just what we needed, something else a little different to add to our list. So, having to have the closure surgery was a good thing for more than one reason. Now we know for sure everything is all healed up and closed up like it should be AND instead of weird-looking misplaced belly button she has a little incision instead. I mean out of the two I would rather her have a small little scar wouldn't you?

After. Not too bad!

Here is a good picture of her "pretty belly" as I call it. I tell her everyday what a beautiful tummy she has and how thankful we are that God has healed her and helped her grow big and strong. Sweet baby has come so far and we are so thankful for all the Lord has done in her short little life. There is more to come but hopefully the next surgery is still another year away. You can see in this picture how her tummy bulges out. I've mentioned it before but this is because at her initial omphalocele repair surgery when she was two days old they had a hard time fitting all the organs back in and pulling her abdominal muscles back together over them so they only did a skin closure. Our next surgery will more than likely be to get full muscle closure over the organs which would flatten her tummy, clean up her scar and hopefully create a cute little belly button. Right now she is still too small and the hernia is too big so we just wait and let her grow which is great with us! She is doing so well, eating great, she is active and doing everything other kids her age are doing. We are so blessed and I thank God many times a day for the miracle of Ella Hope!

So, what is next for the Carders you ask? Weeeelll, we have some exciting plans in May! I'll give you a hint...we are going on a trip, it starts with a T, it's really, really, really far away. We are going to THAILAND!! I know, I'll give you a minute to pick your jaw up off the floor. The Carder fam is headed to Thailand in a just a few weeks to go visit Ann, Derran and the girls! We are SOOOO excited as if you couldn't tell from all of my exclamation points. :) Yes, we are all going, Eva and Ella too. Eva packed her bag in January so she's good to go! We cannot wait to get to see and be a part of the Reeses work in Phayao as well as have some great cousin time. The girls love their cousins Brynn and Meg and talk about them everyday so getting to go to Thailand will be such an adventure. I know some people may think we are crazy for going with two small children, one being Ella, but we just feel incredibly blessed that we are at a place now where this is even possible. We thought it would be yeeaaarrs before we would ever be able to go visit and I was pretty sure when we did get to go we would be buying a plane ticket for all of Ella's medical supplies to go with us. Every time I think about getting on the plane in a matter of weeks I can't help but thank God over and over for what He has done and for what He is doing in our family. My heart just wants to burst with thanksgiving!

We're so excited and will have lots of fun stories and pictures to share soon! You can follow the Reeses blog and learn more about their life and ministry in Phayao, Thailand by clicking on my link Reeses in Thailand at the top of my blog. That pretty much sums it up for now, looking forward to what's to come! I'm sure I'll have some great Thailand stories for ya so stay tuned!

Update on Ella's Surgery

2011-03-28T15:19:00.012-05:00

Ella is home and doing great!! Thank you so much for all of your prayers today for Ella and our family. What a blessing to have friends and family praying, thank you!
Ella did great today! We got to Cook's at 7:30 this morning and were home by 12:30! Can you believe that? I was amazed. The surgery went well, her surgeon said she did great and everything went smoothly. Thank you Lord! She was a little grumpy waking up in recovery and on the ride home but once we got home it didn't take long before she already wanted to get down and play with Eva. Children and their resilience just blows me away!

Honestly, today has been a good day. I'm glad this is behind us but today was good. As much as I dread surgeries and having to let my baby go, the Lord gave me His peace today just as He has always done before with every other procedure and surgery so today was no different. We are so amazed and thankful for the level of care that Ella received. The Lord has put incredible people in our hospitals!

On Friday we had an unplanned, last minute pre-op consult in preparation for today mainly because when you look on paper at Ella's medical history she ummm, well..."looks bad" as they told me. Cook's called to see if we could come in for this reason. Lovely. That sounds mean to say but I agree, she has alot going on and is one complicated little girl when you look at it all written out. I have learned to laugh at moments like this when I have to go down the list and explain the congenital anomalies, the heart defects, the spine defects, the shoulder problems, tummy issues, why we needed a feeding tube, and "No, she doesn't have a syndrome" and please stop listing off ones YOU think she might have and the list goes on. Now, I don't mind having to explain it all like I used to because I see it as one more opportunity to give Ella's testimony about what an incredible God we serve. I love that they needed to see Ella in person because she "looks bad" on paper and were blown away at what they saw because what she looks like on paper is far from who she is or what she looks like in person. The Lord has done mighty things with her despite her differences and she is a living, breathing, walking miracle and there is no denying it. She is, just like the meaning of her name, "a bright light." I could go on and on.

Anyway, so Ella and I took a quick trip up to Cook's on Friday and the nurse that was taking care of us was a nurse we had before for a different procedure which was so reassuring and while we were there another nurse came in just because she heard Ella was there and she remembered her from 2 years ago and just wanted to see her. Crazy you might say, but I just looked at it as little ways God was showing me He was right beside me and is taking care of us. SAME THING happened today. The nurse that took Ella into surgery today was the same sweet nurse that took care of her during her omphalocele repair surgery when she was 2 days old. I want to say unbelievable, but it's not. The Lord is just so sweet that way to give us his peace in supernatural ways as well as in ways we can see with our physical eyes like putting familiar faces in front of you when you're feeling fragile.

So, things are good. We're so thankful that things went well and that this is behind us. We are so proud of both of our girls and how they love each other and support each other even though they are four and 2. Sweet sisters! Again, thank you all once again for your prayers, encouragement, and support. It is such a blessing to our family! Here are some pictures from today!

If this doesn't make you smile I don't know what will. Eva, Eva, and her "loud" clothes. This is what she wanted to wear today and it was good medicine for the soul to just look over at her in her crazy outfit. Makes me laugh!

Starting to feel a little loopy after some pre-medication. Ella was so funny, several minutes after she got some Versed a nurse walked in the room and Ella said, "I'm sleeping" even though she was wide awake. The nurse asked her if she was sleeping with her eyes open and she shook her head yes with a big smile on her face. Hilarious.

Saying good-bye :(

Sweet baby in recovery

Playing "Surgery" once we got home. Now instead of always playing "going to church or to the doctor" like they do I can bet this is going to be our new play scenario...surgery. I'm not sure where the hot pink feather boa comes in but wouldn't real life surgery be much more pleasant if everyone wore feather boas? I think so. Notice Eva with her heels and clipboard with her "paperwork and stickers" for Ella. Awesome.

Nurse Eva and her patient. I love these two...and didn't I say in my last post that this surgery wasn't going to slow her down much? I'm pretty sure I did. Keep praying for smooth, quick recovery!

Thanks for praying, we are so blessed!

Surgery on Monday for Ella

2011-03-25T22:21:00.003-05:00

Well friends, it is surgery time again for Miss Ella Hope. It's been a little over a month since she had her G-button removed and it was our hope and prayer that everything would close up on it's own but that is unfortunately not the case. Her G-button site has continued to leak and after talking with her surgeon they have said that at this point surgery is required.

So, Ella will have surgery this coming Monday morning, March 28 at 9:15. We would covet your prayers once again for her for a smooth surgery, quick recovery and for no infection. They will do what's called a gastrocutaneous fistula closure which in "Amy's Terms" means they will go layer by layer and close off the stomach first and work back up to the skin closing everything off. As much as I had hoped that things would just naturally heal up there was a large part of me prepared for this outcome so we are at peace about it and feel confident in this decision. Ella is a trooper so I have no worries that this is just a minor hiccup and isn't going to slow her down much at all.

Thanks for loving and praying for our sweet Ella, keep those prayers coming!!

Now you see it...

2011-02-15T14:26:00.004-06:00

And this Thursday at 3:00 you won't!! That's right folks, GI gave us the go-ahead to get Ella's feeding tube removed so we aren't wasting any time. We're going to Ella's surgeon this Thursday afternoon to get it taken out. Bye-Bye G-button! WOOOOHOOOO!

This is MONUMENTAL and when I really think about it I get a big lump in my throat. I can't believe this day is here NOW. My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness at what the Lord has done for our sweet Ella Hope. Thank you for your continued prayers for her, what a blessing they have been! We would love your prayers this Thursday and the remainder of the week for quick healing for her G-button site. We have been warned that after it is removed it's possible that it won't close up on it's own which means that surgery would be required to go in and close off the stomach etc. Please just start praying now that this isn't the case for Ella and that everything will heal quickly and like it's supposed to. Ella's GI doctor said that we should know within a week of her G-button being removed if it's going to close up on it's own or not. We'll keep you updated, until then keep the prayers coming!

"Dr. Black"

Ella loves to pretend that she is Dr. Black, her tummy surgeon. Don't you love the stethoscope around the neck? Very doctor-like isn't it? Very observant this little girl. I think the glasses are my fave. Hope she still likes Dr. Black after Thursday and the ol' taking the G-button out drama is over. Lord, have mercy! Pray, friends!

Crazy Clothes, Shower caps and Snow Days

2011-02-09T15:12:00.010-06:00

Man, don't you just love these two?? I sure do. These two little girls are so fun and make me laugh constantly. Will you please notice Eva's shoes? Loooove it. Love the socks with sandals look and Ella isn't much better with her shoes on opposite feet and her high-water pants. I am proud to say that this IS typically what they look like on a day to day basis. Eva is really into dressing herself and she likes what my Granny used to call "loud" clothing. "Loud" meaning colorful, bright and patterned. Yep, that's Eva's clothing choice...loud. Precious.

Even in the bathtub she is still the fashionista with her cool shower cap that Aunt Ann sent from Thailand. Ummm, thanks Aunt Ann? Apparently little girls do in fact need shower caps.

Another "loud" outfit...at least this one matches. :)

I really do love that Eva likes to dress herself and I kind of look forward each day to see what she comes up with to wear. Unlike her mom, this girl is not afraid of color! You look in my closet and everything is gray, black or white. You look in hers and wow! When in public I do like to promote my children and I want them to look cute and not look like we got dressed in the dark but at this point in life I think we're ok wearing socks with sandals, pink pants and a funky leopard and flower jacket don't you? So, if you see us and Eva is wearing one of her "loud" outfits, know that our electricity is not out and that we didn't get dressed in the dark. This is just what she picked and it's fabulous! I just love her, she is so fun!

And sweet Ella, what a trip she is! She is very funny, talks all the time, is eating great, and is just pure joy. I thank God for all he has done with her multiple times a day. She hasn't used her feeding tube in 8 MONTHS!! Isn't that crazy?! We're so proud of her. We go to the GI doctor next week on February 14 for a check up and to discuss removing her G-button. I can't believe we are actually to this point where she might get it removed! This is huge. If GI gives the ok then we'll schedule an appointment with her surgeon to get it taken out. You can be praying about that because the day is drawing near which is exciting! I'll update after our appointment about what the GI says. Other than that, Ella is doing great and we're so thankful!

Just thought I would share some recent pictures since I haven't posted any in awhile. So here are some from our snow days the past week. We had some fun family time being snowed in. We painted nails, had movie night, made cookies several times, and forced myself to finally clean the house and organize my kitchen cabinets. So, fun times and productive too!

Movie Night! Doesn't Eva look like the life of the party? She really was having fun I just made the mistake of taking the picture in the dark and blinding her with my flash. Don't be fooled by the grumpy face.

On our way to Mimi and Pawpaw's house. I just love their little faces peeking out from under their hats!

Family Picture...I will fully explain about my amazing red jacket a little further down. Just wanted to give a sneak peek. :)

Eva throwin' some snow!

Building a snowman with Daddy. Aaaannd this little mound is as far as they got folks. Good effort guys, good effort.

Sweet Ella with Pawpaw

Yes! Is this not great?? We were at my parents house and my mom started pulling out all of their old ski stuff and when I spotted this red beauty with matching ski bib, pants and gloves I knew it was meant to be...this would be my snow day outfit. Jealous?

Fun snow days in Texas!!

Thoughts on 2010: Freedom, Peace and a Restored Soul

2011-01-04T22:14:00.009-06:00

Well, well, well...look who's back with a blog post. Again, I totally mean to update more frequently but somehow time just slips away. 2011 will be the year, I can just feel it. Happy 2011 everyone! Right now Ella has pneumonia and an ear infection so Happy 2011 to the Carders right? She's on the mend though and I'm very thankful because the past several days she has been so miserable. It's just so sad to see her like that. Keep her in your prayers!

Another year gone by, wow. I'm amazed that another year is over and we are beginning a new one. I feel like we just did that like a month ago. But, obviously we didn't and as I think back about this last year and look back at my calendar and all that has transpired I am in awe at what the Lord has done. I love to look at my calendars from years past and see what we were doing on certain days. I found one from when I was in college not too long ago by the way. College! What in the world? Why did I keep it, I don't know. So funny though. I wrote down all of my appointments, tests, projects etc. but I can still remember at the beginning of several semesters forgetting to get my class schedule to know where I was even going for the first day of classes. I was organized apparently but had no idea where I was going. Yes, this was college and not high school like you would expect. Genius.

Anyway, I was looking through my planner from this last year and was just amazed at where we are today just one year later. So, here we go with Amy's Thoughts on 2010. My thoughts on 2009 last year came with no pictures, were very honest and was probably a bit hard to read. You know me, I don't sugarcoat well so we'll see how this one goes. This year was muuuuccchhh better than last year so here we go with 2010. Last year at this time we were newly emerging out of the black tunnel we had been in since Ella was born. Things were slowly starting to ease up, Ella was making slow but good progress with feedings and things were just in general a little more manageable. Our weeks were still filled almost everyday with doctor's appointments and therapy appointments for Ella. Many days we even had 3 sometimes 4 appointments for Ella...in one day. Whew! It made me tired just to look at my calendar filled everyday with all of her appointments. There wasn't alot of other things besides that in my planner for several months. But as the months went on I could see how her therapies began to decrease in frequency as she was making progress and more "normal" things began to be added to my weeks.

My feelings coming out of 2009 and beginning 2010 were that of thankfulness. I continue to feel extremely thankful but I also feel that this past year for me personally was a year of freedom, peace and a restoring of my soul. I thank all of you who have prayed for our family because I believe that the peace and healing we have been given was also something many of you have prayed for us for a long time. So, thank you for committing our family to prayer, we truly felt it this past year. This time last year things were better for us and we were actually seeing that there was light at the end of the tunnel and it was getting brighter. But, with all that being said, for me I feel that amidst my thankfulness there was a heart still broken that needed healing. I was still a bit overwhelmed, confused at the year we had just survived, I had a lot of questions I wanted answers to and honestly I was just a bit ticked off at times. Not that any of that should surprise you. I mean, I think we all remember my backyard plate throwing habit I had to release my anger don't we? I'm proud to say that I have not broken any plates in well over a year so that should tell you something. :)

Anyway, I was still hurting that all of this with Ella had happened, I wanted answers as to what went wrong in my pregnancy, when it happened, how it happened. When I happened to be out and about I would get annoyed when I would see "happy-mall-outing-family-with-their-three-healthy-kids" all having a great time together at the mall when for me to leave the house for an extended period of time I had to train and pay someone to come in and take care of Ella. Why did they seemingly have it so easy when things were anything but easy for our family? The world was going on but our world had been turned upside-down and I was still trying to make sense of it all. While everyone else seemed to be doing "normal" things I was beginning to be able to do more with the girls but for the most part my days and weeks consisted of taking Ella to the doctor and to therapies everyday and trying to get her to eat and to walk. All things that I definitely took for granted with Eva but not with Ella. She had to fight for everything and it just made me mad that things were so hard for her while "happy-mall-outing-family-with-their-three-healthy-kids" seemed to just be coasting through having a blast in life. Wow! Can you believe my inner commentary? How judgemental was I?? Let's just blame it on the grieving process so you don't think I'm a complete jerk and lunatic. :)

I remember at our appointment with our geneticist around this time last year I was asking a lot of questions. I wanted her to give me logical and specific reasons as to how these problems happened with Ella. I wanted to know how, when, why, at what point in gestation did this occur. Did I do something wrong, did I eat something weird, were we living in some strange area of town being affected by certain environmental factors that were causing birth defects. I know, call me crazy. She had been trying to tell me all along but I kept asking questions and she finally just looked at me kindly, yet firmly and said, "It just happened." You would think that would've given me some comfort and would've been what I wanted to hear but it wasn't. I still wanted to know what went wrong and why. I wanted to know the big picture and how God was going to redeem all of this. What did it mean for our family? How does it affect having more children? Are we going to even have more children? What were we supposed to do with this and the way it has changed our family? It was consuming me and I really struggled with it all. As last year went on I feel like God just gently and continuously revealed Himself to me and his purposes for me right now. Not for next year, or ten years from now, just for right now, for today.

I mentioned earlier that this past year for me is characterized by three things: freedom, peace and a restored soul. These are three huge gifts He has given me this year and I am immensely thankful and amazed. As I spent time with Him I realized I had a lot of fears which surprised me. I had never thought of myself as a very fearful person (except for my fear of spiders which I still haven't worked through and don't want to) but what was coming out was all rooted in fear. Obviously working through alot of these things is still ongoing but I believe by seeking Him first He will give you a new path if you choose to follow Him. He has certainly shown that to me this last year and as I began to let go of some things I was holding onto such as why all of this happened with Ella, trusting Him to take care of her, answering my questions about the future, etc. I began to feel the chains break away and experience His freedom like I never had before. I'm not going to lie and say that it was easy and came without walking through some pain because it didn't. There were lots of tears on my part, some wrestling with God and a re-breaking of my heart that had to happen for me to come to understand the way God feels about me and how much he loves not only me but all of us. But, I can say that it has been life-changing for me and I feel like a new person, a whole person and one who is more confident in God's love for me and who I am in Him. A HUGE burden was lifted off my heart and I no longer felt like God needed to explain himself to poor, little Amy Carder in order for me to trust Him completely. Unbelievable aren't I?? Sheesh, so high maintenance. Do you see what Rick has to deal with? Pray for him. :) I am choosing to trust God because I believe that He is God, He is real, He is truth, and without Him I am nothing. And, if anyone could understand my pain and disappointment in this life it would be him. He gave up His Son for me so that one day I can live forever with Him and that is truly a gift that I cannot wrap my brain around.

So, I still don't have answers to all of these above mentioned questions but that's okay. I'm not bound and burdened by feeling like I have to figure it all out like I was. What happened, happened and it does not define me, instead it has refined me. And through this refining process God has given me peace in the purposes he has for me today and has restored my soul along the way constantly reassuring me of His love and His plan for me. Not his plan for "happy-mall-outing-family-with-their-three-healthy-kids", not his plan for my neighbor, not his plan for my friends and relatives, but his plan for ME. It doesn't matter what they are all doing, what matters is am I following God and obeying him. That's what He wants from me and if I'm doing that then He can use me to further His kingdom and bring Him the glory He deserves. That's what I'm trying to do and what I have to remind myself of when I want to jump ahead of God and go with my plans instead of His.

I have always loved Psalm 23 and it's a passage I memorized as a little girl. In the past several years I feel that this passage has come to life for me and has comforted me and encouraged me in many different ways. There were many nights when I was pregnant with Ella and after she was born when I couldn't sleep because I was scared to death about what we were facing so I would quote this scripture over and over and over to myself until I finally fell asleep. And this past year the Word of God came to life as he restored my soul when I finally released everything to him, fully trusting Him with everything, even with my children and committed myself to him. Through that surrender the gift he gave me was a renewed spirit and a peace that can only come from him. I love the way Kay Warren puts it in her book Say Yes to God: A Call to Courageous Surrender which I highly recommend by the way. She states that "following Jesus is to offer to him all that you think you are, all that you really are, all that you think you are not, and all that you really are not-to be used in the way he chooses." I love that. I don't have it all figured it out and there are many days when I find myself on the path of fear instead of the path of freedom but I'm getting there. God is so loving, patient and kind and he has definitely outdone himself with the blessings he has given our family this year. I am humbled and at a loss for words for all that he's given to me.

So, with that, I will close this long post for the two of you that are left reading by this point with a sort-of blog post benediction: May this year be the year that you seek more of the Lord in your life, more of his voice in your ear and all that he has for you. May he cause you to release all that you are, all that you are not, all of your fears, anger, unforgiveness, hurt and pain and anything that is binding you from the freedom that he freely offers so that he may use you in the way he chooses. In turn, may he give you a renewed heart and soul that has been healed and soothed with his everlasting peace. Blessings in 2011!

Fall Update

2010-11-16T15:19:00.012-06:00

Sorry Ann...I couldn't resist. This picture just screams Fall. :)

Weeelll, I'm back! I feel like it's been forever since I've updated but it's all been for good reasons. This October and beginning of November we were spending every minute we could with Ann, Derran and the girls so I had no time for blogging. This past Thursday they left to go back to Thailand so instead of wallowing in my sorrow I figured it was time for a little update. I love that my last post was about them arriving in Texas and now this one is about them leaving. Where is the in between??

We had such a fun time having them here. We ate way too much Sonic,Chick-fil-a, and Taco Bueno for anyone in a such a short period of time, took fun trips to Target, went to the zoo, the pumpkin patch, went trick-or-treating, played with friends and just had a good time being together. Since they left I've been in a little bit of a funk...you know me and my funks. I haven't been in one in awhile so it's high time for one ya know. It's getting better and I know we'll all be together again soon so it's okay but it STINKS saying goodbye! Stinks I tell you, not fun at all. :( However, we're so proud of them and the work they are doing. They are such a blessing to us and we're so thankful for the Reese family!

October and November seemed to have flown by but I don't want them to pass by and not share with everyone some good news about Ella. We have much to be thankful for! First, yesterday, Monday, November 15 Ella was discharged from Feeding Therapy!! We are so excited for her and are beyond thankful for all the progress she has made in the past year. Last year her first feeding therapy appointment was on September 14 and she went in not being able to eat any kind of food wihout gagging and vomiting and was being fed primarily by her feeding tube with a little supplement from a bottle. It was a slow, hard and demanding process and honestly I believed that it would be years before she would be eating sufficiently by mouth and I felt like she would be relying on her feeding tube for many years as well. Deep down I hoped and prayed I was wrong but there was just so much to overcome and with her diagnosis I didn't want to get my hopes up. Wow!! Was I ever wrong! I am still in shock that we are at this point where just ONE YEAR later we are done with feeding therapy AND it's been five months now since she has used her feeding tube for anything. Unbelievable! Thank you God!

Last time walking in to Feeding Therapy

Ella and her AMAZING therapist Miss Sara
Ella started off the day with a cookie bar for breakfast. Awesome. And yes, I still give her any food she asks for so it thrilled my heart that she wanted cookies for breakfast. :) Then we celebrated with Taco Bueno for lunch followed by some ice cream with Pawpaw.

After dinner we took a little family outing to Sonic to get another treat. Yea Ella! We're so proud of you! We love to celebrate around here can you tell?

Thank you also to all of our friends and family that have prayed so much for Ella. Your faithfulness and commitment to prayer for Ella has been life-changing for not only her but for our entire family. I pray that Ella's story serves as a testimony to the power of prayer and what a mighty God we serve! I never would have dreamed the night and day difference we have seen in just a matter of a year and I am overwhelmed and humbled at what the Lord has done and given us this year. We have so much to be thankful for and I don't take any of it for granted.

Second, another praise for Ella is that she had her annual review with Early Childhood Intervention last week and she is doing so well in Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy that they have decreased both of those therapies to just once a month. So, obviously our schedule has quickly changed with all of these therapies decreasing. I have to say that it is bittersweet which may sound weird to some people. But, this has been our way of life since Ella was born and her therapist are some of our good friends so it's just kind of emotional letting go. Can you tell I don't handle change well?? Even when it's good change it's still an adjustment. Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful that we are at this point where we don't need as much intervention because this is what we've been working toward so it's definitely a welcome change but for me it does come with some mixed emotions. I'm just so thankful for the specific people, therapists, and doctors the Lord sent to us to help Ella. They are truly such a blessing and have worked so hard to help get Ella to where she is now.

So, what's next? There is nothing scheduled at this point as far as surgeries. There will be surgeries to come but hopefully not for another couple of years. In December we have several follow-up appointments with surgeons to check on Ella's tummy and her left arm and shoulder then later in the winter we'll have some other follow-ups for other things so it's not like we are done with appointments and doctors. :) Many have asked when Ella will have her G-button taken out and that will probably happen this spring. We'll see her GI doctor in February or March and make more definite plans then when to remove it. Makes me excited but nervous! So for now we will just be enjoying our new schedule and thanking God for these blessings!

To conclude this massive post I leave you with Halloween pictures. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...Albert Einstein.

Einstein checking herself out. Loooove the hair!

GENIUS costume isn't it? Lots of good laughs at the tiny Einstein while trick or treating. I wish I could take credit for this idea but I can't. We copied it from our very funny and creative cousins in Alabama. Love you Rory, Ginny and Hayes!

Round 1-Eva was Minnie Mouse for her Halloween at school...safe choice. She is the cutest Minnie Mouse I've ever seen by the way!

Round 2-She decided last minute for trick or treating that she wanted to be a pizza again so she wore her old faithful pizza slice costume from two years ago. Why the change you ask? Well, after seeing how many laughs Ella Einstein was getting she opted to go for the funny and went for the pizza. It was hilarious, I was helping her get dressed and she looked up at me with a smile on her face and whispered so no one could hear her, "This be funny?" I assured her that yes, this costume would indeed be very funny! So cute! Love her sense of humor.

Hope everyone has a very blessed Thanksgiving!

Two Great Things

2010-10-13T16:00:00.000-05:00

I have two great things to share with everyone! First, our friends Jason and Summer Cox are having a huge Garage Sale this weekend and all the proceeds are going to help bring their sweet baby girl home from Ethiopia! So exciting! So, if you live in the Fort Worth area and want to hit up a fantastic sale this weekend and help out the Cox's contact Summer at the email address below if you need directions to their home or more details. They also have other ways that you can help out too so check out their coffee fundraiser at www.justlovecoffee.com/CoxRagamuffins as well as their t-shirt sales at www.goseeklove.com!

Garage Sale Adoption Fundraiser for the Cox Family
All proceeds are to help bring our daughter home from Ethiopia
www.coxragamuffins.blogspot.com
Friday, October 15th and Saturday, October 16th
At their home
Contact Summer for details at jlandskcox@yahoo.com
*also will be selling baked goods*

Ongoing coffee fundraiser: www.justlovecoffee.com/CoxRagamuffins : $5 from every bag purchased goes directly to our family - makes great Christmas or birthday presents!

For the month of October only: visit www.goseeklove.com to purchase t-shirts - 100% of the proceeds go directly to our family!

The other great news is that Derran, Ann, Brynn and Meg are back home in Texas from Thailand this month! Yippee! They got back a week and a half ago and it's been nonstop fun for all of us. We have had the best time just being together and letting the cousins play. I meant to post these pictures from the airport last week but got a little sidetracked. Too busy carting Ann around to Happy Hour at Sonic everyday, going to Target, etc. And I'm not kidding. :) Better late than never so here are some fun pics to enjoy!

Waiting for the big arrival

Waiting...

Waiting...

Still waiting...

More waiting...

FINALLY! The moment we've all waited for for the last year...to see their smiling faces and hug their necks!

Ella isn't quite sure yet about Uncle Derran

Brothers don't shake hands...brothers gotta hug! Yes, I'm still always looking for opportunities to throw in a Tommy Boy quote even at the age of 32.

The happy little cousins

Eva and Brynn were SO excited to see each other! They had to be together and holding hands at all times. Even on the ride home from the airport with my mom squished in between the carseats they were reaching their hands ACROSS her so they could be touching each other! Awwwww, so sweet!

Mama and her chicks, happy together again!

Well now, what does one do when you are fresh off the plane from Thailand? That's right, Sonic baby! Within the first hour Ann and Derran were here we went to Sonic, Chick-fil-a AND Taco Bueno! Yes, you read that right, I did say in the first hour. Doesn't that sound like a dream? Three of my favorite places. I wish everyday started out like this one right? :) How does one do that you ask? Simple. First stop was Sonic for drinks for us girls.

Then a stop at Chick-fil-a for nuggets for the kids

And the last stop was Taco Bueno to-go for the adults

Aaahhh, perfection isn't it? We are loving having them back for a little while and we're so proud of them and the work they are doing in Phayao. Welcome home Derran, Ann, Brynn and Meg!!

Things I Never Thought I Would Do, 20 lbs and Fun Pictures

2010-09-15T16:47:00.011-05:00

Things I Never Thought I Would Do:

1) Purposefully pour Coke into a sippy cup...and not feel bad about it. I have let Ella drink my Cokes for awhile now but recently I have actually found myself pouring it INTO a sippy cup for her to drink. I don't know it's like Crazy Calorie Counting Mom takes over and I have no control over myself and I can't stop myself from pouring it in. It's so wrong and I feel like coke in a sippy cup just takes things to a whole other level. Does that stop me from doing it? No. Will I continue? Yes. Have I even done it in public? Yes. No one has given me the stink-eye about it yet but I'm sure that day is coming. Bring it.

2) Serve dessert after breakfast. Who said that we can't have dessert after breakfast? Ella routinely gets something sweet in the morning. It doesn't matter if it's 9:00 am, it is never too early for a package of gummies or some cookies in my opinion.

3) Serve lunch/dinner for breakfast. Lately one of Ella's favorite things to eat for breakfast is mac and cheese and chicken nuggets dipped in Ranch. I know, grrroosss. Eva walked out the other day and saw Ella eating mac and cheese and nuggets and kind of got this weird/grossed out look on her face and said, "Why Ella eat that?" She also looooooves Ranch and dips EVERYTHING in it, despite the fact that she has atopic dermatitis and her mouth and face turn red where ever the Ranch has touched. Awesome right? Note to self, remind her on her first date not to dip anything in Ranch...a blotchy, red mouth and face could make things a liiiittle awkward.

4) Spend the majority of my time during my weekly grocery shopping trip in the cookie aisle. Seriously, I don't know how much time I spend in the snack/cookie aisle comparing cookies to see which ones have the most calories. AND, instead of running in the opposite direction from the high calorie snack, I take great pride in my find and excitedly put it in my basket, eager to get home and show Rick what I've found to fatten Ella up.

BUT, had we NOT done these things would we be dropping this number on the scale??

Go on, take a closer look. That's right folks, 20 pounds! Finally!! So go ahead and give me the evil eye for putting Coke in sippy cups and giving my kids dessert after breakfast...all I see here are positives. :)

We are super excited in the Carder household for Miss Ella. We've been stuck at 19 pounds for months now and couldn't seem to break it. Who knows how long we'll stay at 20 but hopefully it will only go up from here. It's cool that this is what most 1 year olds weigh and Ella is just now barely there at the age of 2 but we couldn't be prouder. Thank you for all of your prayers for weight gain, please keep them coming!

Lastly, for the end of my random post here are just a few fun pictures from the Carders, enjoy!

Fun in the water after a rainy day!

One can NEVER have too many pacifiers! Can we say obsessed??

Eva started back to her preschool this past week. She loves her school!

What a sweet little girl!

Ella...one crazy cat. I turn my back for 5 seconds and this is what happens!

1 Year Ago Today

2010-08-19T15:05:00.008-05:00

Just wanted to share my thankfulness today for how the Lord has blessed our sweet little Ella over the past year. August 19, 2009 may not mean much to most people, just another day, but for our family and for especially Ella it has huge significance. It has been one year ago today since Ella had her shoulder reconstruction surgery at Scottish Rite in Dallas. I know for most people not knowing specifically about all that this surgery entailed for Ella it is impossible to really appreciate what it has done for her and the impact it has had and will have on her life. But, we feel so blessed and thankful for what the Lord has done for her by providing amazing surgeons that He equipped to help Ella and others.

Last year on this day we woke up early to send our baby off into major surgery that we had been anticipating and waiting for since the day she was born. I remember having a sense of complete dread yet at the same time knowing that this surgery would change her life. None of us knew what to really expect since Ella's shoulder deformity was extremely rare and her surgeons had never done a shoulder reconstruction like this EVER. They admitted to us months before that they had ONLY seen or read something about Ella's deformity in literature but had never actually seen it for themselves. Awesome...You would think that would have made us nervous but it didn't because these surgeons at Scottish Rite are some of the best in the world in this area of orthopedics so I was confident we were in the best place for Ella. Plus, if these surgeons had never seen it or done this surgery then for sure no other doctors had either so what were really going to do? However, knowing that we were in the best hands and strongly believing that didn't make it any easier to let her go into a long, complicated surgery.

I knew her life would never be the same after this day. What her surgeons were able to do physically for her was incredible but even more, it gave her a chance to live a different life in this world that can be very cruel to those with differences or disabilities. I remember after she was born and we found out about her deformity I for one was an absolute wreck. I pretty much had a panic attack in my hospital room not only because of the shock of it all but also because of everything else she was facing and the fact that I was laying in my bed on a different floor while she was laying in her bed down in the NICU with her organs out of her body waiting for surgery. I have no idea why I had a panic attack. Weird...I know. :) Anyway, I kept thinking how will she survive in this world with this? What will people think? How are we going to deal with this? I CAN'T do this. She's never going to have a chance, you can't have something like this and survive in this world. The images running through my mind were of the beggars I would see everyday on the street in Bangkok, Thailand where I grew up. All of them were disabled in some way either blind, missing limbs, deformed, you name it. They didn't have a chance, were not accepted, and like in so many other countries you could say treated like dust of the earth. This is how I believed the world was going to view my precious baby girl...like dust of the earth, dirt. My heart was broken and I was a total mess.

Looking back on that day seems like it was only yesterday even though it was almost 2years ago. Now I can't believe it's actually been a year since her shoulder surgery and in a way I can't believe that any of that actually happened. I'm still processing things. The Lord has done mighty things for Ella and our family this year. Ella is healthy, she is eating and hasn't used her feeding tube in 2 months now. I know, can you believe that? Thank you Lord! She is using her left arm really well and continuing to gain strength in it. There are still some major limitations and she doesn't have full range of motion but there is hope that more can be done in the future to help that. I used to really worry about little things which is ridiculous like how she was gong to put her hair up in a ponytail, will she be able to swim, will kids make fun of her at recess because she can't do the monkey bars. I still wonder about how she will do those things but I refuse to be bound by worry. I'm not saying I've mastered that because I haven't but I know the Lord is faithful and is trustworthy so that is the path I want to choose everyday. I have learned to be so thankful for what she DOES have instead of what she DOESN'T have and she has A LOT. She is blessed beyond measure and it took me awhile to be able to say that because I was so overwhelmed with all of the problems and it felt like the black tunnel I was in was never ending, but the Lord has gently brought me along and revealed to me that He made her perfect for the purpose HE has for her and that is all that matters.

I am so thankful for the deliverance the Lord has provided and the love He continues to lavish on us. I know we are immensely blessed and I pray that I don't take that for granted. I write these feelings down not to shock people but to remind myself because I don't want to ever forget or be too far removed from the hurt and pain that I know so many others around me and around the world are going through. I want my eyes to be open to how I can use what the Lord taught me in my dark days to help others. I'm listening and trying to be obedient. He is so faithful and is so patient with me. I'm so so thankful and I know He has much more in store for all of us. I thank Him everyday for giving me sweet little Ella Hope, I love being her mommy! :)

Things I Love

2010-07-28T14:13:00.006-05:00

I love spending time with my girls. We are having so much fun together and they make me laugh all the time. Here are a few of my favorite things:

1. Eva's favorite new phrases to incorporate into conversation these days are "It happens" and "Bad news." For example, this is a real conversation I had with her out of the blue the other day.
Eva: Sometimes I get poo-poo on my hands.
Me: Wait...what? You got poo-poo on your hands? When?
Eva: It happens
Me: No response

Wowzers. What in the world?

2. One day last week I was trying to decide what to feed Ella for breakfast and was just kind of talking out loud to myself about what to give her and Eva pipes up, "Ella wants a cupcake." Fantastic I say and without hesitation I joyfully opened up the box of cupcakes and fed one to Ella for breakfast...and I didn't feel bad about it. All I see here are calories people, calories. Don't judge my mothering skills. :)

3. I love that to entice Ella to eat her chicken all I had to do at dinner the other night was squirt some Cheez-Whiz on each piece and we were in business. Everybody wins here...Ella wanted cheese, I wanted her to eat her chicken, the solution? Cheez-Whiz on the chicken. We all win.

4. Who needs hair gel when you can get this beautiful look with a dab of Cortizone cream lovingly applied by your big sister.
A nice greasy, yet firm and flexible look that will surely keep your hair in place throughout the entire day. Lovely. What are little kids thinking sometimes??

5. I love that Ella now loves cheeseburgers and fries from McDonalds. You know how much I love a good McDouble and fries and now it's even better because I don't need an excuse to go to McDonalds. I practically have medical necessity...the necessity being that Ella needs to gain weight and is there really a better place than the golden arches to help you pack on the pounds? I think not. Cheeseburger, small fries and a juice box is like 630 calories. This is what I'm talkin' about. We've been twice already this week. Medical necessity I tell you, keep that in mind. I love you McDonald's!

5. Eva and Ella's favorite new show to watch is my Denise Austin workout DVD. Not kidding. What's funny is they like to watch it as entertainment as if it's Dora or something. Seriously, Eva will sit on the couch and watch it like it's a cartoon. Uh..okay. Other times they watch it to try and copy the moves and it's hilarious watching them bounce around the living room trying to do lunges and jumping jacks. Priceless. Reminds me of when I was little and I would lay out my little beach towel for an exercise mat and do Jane Fonda with my mom. Aaah, blast from the past. Good ol' Jane.

6. Ella has started saying Eva's name and calling her by name. So precious! She pronounces it with a short e sound "Ehva" instead of a long e sound though. It's so cute to listen to her talk to Eva. They love each other so much and it just melts my heart.

Old Friends and New Friends

2010-07-12T15:05:00.011-05:00

Well friends, I can't believe it but this past weekend marks ONE MONTH with no feeding tube for Ella!! Not once have we used it. This is huge! I can't believe it has been a month! She is doing so well and is eating pretty much anything we give her. Thank you Lord! Sorry about all the exclamation points...I feel like I'm yelling at everyone through the screen but it's just so exciting, I can't help it!
So, this OLD friend has not gotten much attention this month and no one is upset about it. Ella's feeding pump and tubes have just been sitting in the corner of her room and I hardly even notice it's there.

But, our NEW friends here are where the party's at, know what I'm sayin'? Our freezer is the picture of health isn't it? We will stop at nothing to keep our little Ella's weight up and if that means ice cream out the wazoo every night then so be it. Whatever it takes right?

This past month Ella has maintained her weight which is great news in my opinion. She has gained some and lost some but no real big gain, just maintaining. I don't know how everyone else, doctors etc. feel about that but I think it's great. She will be weighed tomorrow again and I think it's now time to discuss with her dietician and doctors what the expectations are for her with no feeding tube as far as growth, weight gain, etc. so that is my goal in the coming weeks. I am extremely pleased with how this month has gone and the fact that she has been able to maintain her weight. She is eating better than ever before and we do have to work at it still and be really diligent about making sure we stay on top of calories and everything but overall she is doing amazingly well. I just can't stop thanking the Lord for all He has done for Ella. He is Great! Another thing that has done amazingly well are my new running shoes! I know you were wondering about that. Take another look at the picture of my freezer...go ahead, go look. Aaaannnd that's why it's time to get moving, too much Blue Bell in the hiz-ouse. I'm telling you, if you are in the market for a new pair of kicks the Salomon Whispers are where.it's.at. I mean, you know I am such the running expert now since I've been running for what two weeks :), but I'm just saying, these shoes are great! No laces and I don't even wear socks because socks drive me cRaZy and make me feel claustrophobic so I just don't do it. No laces + no socks = AWESOME!

Anyway, I know in my last post I said that Ella's surgeon said that typically he would remove a G-button once a child hadn't used it in a month or so and now we are at that month but we are in no hurry at this point for Ella's to be taken out for several reasons. First, we have not communicated with her GI doctor about it all and I don't know what her opinions are on when she feels is the right time to remove it so we still need to get the okay from doctors. Second, we would like to wait until the summer is over and swim season is over because there is a chance that once her G-button is removed, the hole may not close up on it's own. Typically the hole should close up within a few days but in some cases and depending on how long you have had it, it may take a surgical procedure to go in and close things off on the inside as well. I am hoping this will not be the case for Ella when the time comes but who knows. Third, even though I look forward to the day when Ella will not have a G-button, I also dread the moment when it will be taken out. It's only for a few minutes, but it is painful and I don't know if my poor heart can stomach to watch her get it yanked out right now. Yeah, I'll spare you the details but basically the surgeon just counts to three and then yanks it out. We've had this done once when we had to get it replaced and I'm still traumatized. Horrible, just horrible. Anyway, at this point things are going so well that we would just rather enjoy our summer and we'll take care of the ol' G-button issue at a later date.

That's the big news, one month folks, one whole month! Unbelievable and I get a lump in my throat every time I think about it. Thank you for your continued prayers, please keep praying for Ella. Your prayers are such a blessing to our family.

In other news, we just took a little family road trip up to Kansas City to see Rick's family and we had THE best time. The girls had soooo much fun with their cousins and their CC and Dee. We went swimming, watched fireworks, ate lots of good food, went fishing, went to the movies, went shopping and just played and played. It was so fun! The last time we were there was at Thanksgiving and Ella was still using her feeding tube around the clock so it made it a little more stressful and difficult to travel or do much in between feedings but this time was a different story. We were so blessed by getting to spend almost a week with Rick's family and we're so thankful for the wonderful family we have. Thanks CC and Dee and Caire Family for a super fun week, we loved it and miss you so much already!! I don't have many pictures but here are a few. Enjoy!

Ella and CC

Bubble bath with cousin Emery

Eva and Dee

So sweet! I love this picture.

Ice cream on the porch for everyone!

Aunt Amy making sure Ella gets her daily dose of ice cream :)

See ya!

One week...Unplugged!

2010-06-18T14:15:00.009-05:00

TA-DAAAH!!! Ella's first night with no feeding tube! :)

Okay, big news here folks, BIG! Ella has gone ONE week so far WITHOUT being fed by her feeding tube AT ALL!!! I can hardly believe it even as I type the words. Up until last Thursday she was still being fed two times at night with her feeding tube and last week we decided just to be brave and stop her feeds completely and see what happened. Her dietician with ECI comes weekly to weigh her and discuss calories, etc. and she came this past Tuesday and Ella had maintained her weight since dropping the night feedings. WOOHOO! Funny story, the other morning I went in to get Ella up and usually in the morning I have to turn her feeding pump off, undress her and unplug her from her feeding tube. Eva knows the routine well. Well, after a few days of not using the feeding tube Eva finally noticed so when I went in to get Ella I just picked her up out of bed and sat her in my lap in the rocking chair, Eva pointed to Ella's feeding tube in the corner of her room and says, "Mommy, we "loss" (Eva's word for forgot) plug Aiya(Ella) in!" I explained to her that we didn't need to plug Ella in because God is helping Ella eat on her own and she didn't need her feeding tube. Eva got a HUGE smile on her face and was just so excited for Ella. So sweet!

We are very excited but I feel like right now I am still just cautiously optimistic. I do believe that this is it and my prayer is that there will be no turning back but we're just taking it day by day, week by week and just trying to be very intentional about feeding her and making sure she is getting lots of calories. I have a big lump in my throat just thinking about how far Ella has come and that these are the days I had hoped and prayed for...days where she enjoys eating and is sustained by food taken by mouth and not from a feeding tube. I haven't let myself completely go yet because I realize that this is all very new and if we have to take some steps back we will but I'm praying we don't. She is eating great these days and last week we graduated in feeding therapy from going once a week to now going every other week. Yea! Another praise. So, we are slowly making the transition of going from intense therapy to the day when we will not need it. We also saw Ella's tummy surgeon last week and he was very pleased with all of her progress. Just out of curiosity we asked him about what all needs to happen as far as feeding goes before he would permanently remove her G-button and he said when we haven't used the feeding tube for a month or so AT ALL and we get the okay from her GI doctor then he will take it out. We are not there yet and we're not in a hurry but that day will be here soon, I believe it. As far as surgery goes to fully close her abdominal muscles...we are still a couple of years away. She is still too small for the surgery to be successful so for now she just needs to continue to grow, gain weight and develop. We'll see how things go so keep praying.

We're doing our best to keep food in front of her and I feel like we are always feeding her. Which in turn means that WE are always eating. YIKES! Not kidding, every night before bed we ALL sit down and have an ice cream sandwich. Every.Night. I mean, heaven forbid that Ella eat ice cream by herself so we all join in to encourage her. Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. :) Hey, it gets her eating so it works for us. Sooo, last week I also purchased a pair of running shoes because I gots to get movin' if we're going to be downing the Blue Bell every night for the next however many years to keep Ella's weight up. Do you see how feeding affects everyone in the family? Sheesh! Anyway, she is eating great at meal times which is such a blessing. I don't take one bite she takes for granted and I just love watching her eat. I know that might sound a little crazy but it's true!

Thanks for praying friends. Keep praising our Father and keep the prayers coming for Ella that she continues to eat well on her own and gains weight. We'll keep you updated!

The First Swim of the Season

2010-06-02T21:55:00.011-05:00

This past weekend we took our FIRST EVER family trip to the pool! I know, can you believe it? It was so fun! Last summer Ella spent about 20 minutes total in a swimming pool on two different occasions and one involved a projectile vomiting episode so needless to say this was our first pleasant experience in a pool. We've never gone together as a whole family so this was a fun little outing for us and Ella loved the water. She did great and loved splashing around. It's a simple thing but it was fun for us and I'm so excited to finally be able to take her to the pool and let her play.

I've been a little nervous about taking Ella to a public pool with the whole G-Button thing. I don't know, it just kind of gives me the heeby-jeebies thinking that this is a hole into her body that's not supposed to be there and what if she gets some kind of weird infection or something because of dirty pool water. I did some research, called her surgeon and asked around and no one has seemed concerned or had any great ideas of how to cover it besides putting a waterproof bandage over it so I justs decided to not think too much about it and just go with it. However, if any of you feeding tube friends out there have any advice on that that I'm not aware of I'm open for ideas. I do want to clarify and say that she does get regular baths at home (someone just asked me about that which is why I bring it up) but that's different because we're in our own water and it's not being used by hundreds of people. Just so you all don't worry that I don't bathe my child...no worries, she is very clean. :)

So, instead of covering it we just did the little rubber band trick and rubber banded her button closed, which is the most GENIUS idea for leaky buttons or ones that won't stay closed very well. Thanks to Ella's surgeon for this great idea! We only discovered this need last year because the first button Ella had was SUPER leaky and if it came open (which it did all the time) everything she just ate or had in her stomach would come pouring out. Not cool on several levels. I'll spare you the stories about leaky G-buttons and stomach contents. :)

Anywho, there's your G-Button tip of the day, little rubber bands work wonders. So back to the pool, we just went on our merry way and I just tried not to think about gross germs. Here are some pictures of the girls as we are getting ready to go...they can hardly contain their excitement. Mrrrr....mrrrr.

The happy campers, all greased up with sunscreen and ready to go

The looks of excitement are just too much to handle aren't they?

Oh, ok, I think I'm starting to see a little smile and a gleam in the eyes

Aaahhh, there's the smile I've been waiting for.

Me and Els

Isn't she sweet?

We had a fun time and are looking forward to many more days spent at the pool this summer. I had to try and find a swimsuit this past weekend too which is a whole other story in itself. Let me just say that having the whole fam plus a huge stroller in a dressing room at Academy and trying to try on swimsuits is not the way to go. Yes, the whole fam was there and if you remember I do have some strict pool rules, one being that the third party opinion is crucial and a must when picking out a swimsuit but honestly, there's got to be a better way. Anyway, happy swimming everyone!

The most AMAZING Rash Ever and Eva's Last Day of School

2010-05-21T16:08:00.007-05:00

To the front, to the front...

To the back, to the back...

To the side, to the side...

Now dip baby dip, just dip baby dip...Let me see you tootsie roll...tootsie rooooll!

Everybody now, Tootsie Roll...Tootsie Roll! Oh, hey, sorry, I just got a little carried away there with The Tootsie Roll. You know how that goes. You will now have this song stuck in your head all day. You're welcome. :) Ummm, can you say allergic reaction to Amoxicillin?? I don't think these pictures do justice to how bad and amazing this rash was but here it is in all it's glory. Poor Ella looked terrible! Ella had an ear infection last week and had been on Amoxicillin for 8 days and then all of sudden this beautiful rash showed up this past Tuesday. YIKES! I'm here to tell you that every inch of her body was covered. Every.inch. Poor baby. I took her to the doctor on Tuesday to get the verdict on the rash and it was not 100% that it was the antibiotic that caused it but I'm saying it sure looks that way. Honestly, I've never seen anything quite like it. Thankfully, Ella did not seem bothered by it and it wasn't itching or anything and it has now gone away which is a relief. I feel like all we've been doing lately is going back and forth to the doctor and to the pharmacy drive-thru at Walgreens. Throw me a bone here will ya?

Hopefully now we are over this icky sickness hump and we can get back on track with good feeds. Ella has lost some weight so we're trying to get back in the game here and on to our quest for no more feeding tube! I do have to say though that the feeding tube is helpful and is definitely a comfort for me when sickness strikes and Ella doesn't eat as well because I can always add in a feeding, etc. if need be. Can you tell that I have a love/hate relationship with her feeding tube?? Keep praying!

In other news, sweet little Eva had her last day of school at Young Children's World this week. What a wonderful year she has had! She had the most precious, hard working teachers who were so loving, patient and compassionate not only to Eva but to our whole family. We were so blessed to have Miss Patty and Miss Christi this year. Eva absolutely adored them and just talked about them constantly, she will definitely miss them.

Despite the look on Eva's face she really does looooove her teachers!

Is she not THE cutest thing you've ever seen??? Just humor me and say yes. :)

Have a great weekend everyone!

The Final Countdown

2010-05-10T16:14:00.004-05:00

Ahh, I can just hear it now, "The Final Countdown" by Europe blaring from my boombox. Remember that song? Loved it and if we're being honest here who doesn't love all those 90's hair bands.

Isn't this picture fantastic?? I'm pretty sure my sister and I made a music video back in the day with a light show to this song. Back me up on this Ann, you remember this. Don't be fooled though, the light show involved me standing behind a bedroom door and flipping the light switch on and off to the beat of the music while Ann videotaped. Pretty awesome. My favorite music video we made though hands down has to be my solo lip-sync/dance routine to Weird Al's "Fat." Very similar to Michael Jackson's "Bad" video except instead of a cool posse of back-up dancers in a parking garage, it was just me in a homemade fat-suit working my killer dance moves in about 3 feet of floor space in between our twin beds in our tiny bedroom. Other than that, veeerrrryyy similar to Weird Al and MJ's videos. How cool were we you ask? Very, is all I can say. :)

Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the final countdown. I just got side-tracked with a little blast from the past there. We are on the final countdown here friends with Ella's feedings. Last week we dropped another feeding so now Ella is down to just ONE feeding with her feeding tube at night! Incredible, I just can't even believe it. Now, this past weekend though Ella has been sick so she hasn't been eating well and we've had to add an extra tube feeding in here and there so I don't feel like we're getting an accurate gauge on what a real week with only one night feeding would look like. But, I say all of that to say that we are getting closer and closer. Time to put your rally caps on! (That's for you Ann, I know how much you looooove your rally cap.) I like using the word rally cap, it's just one of those annoying words like squamous or cheesecloth and I can't help but cringe a little every time I hear it.

Anyway, we are getting closer to not needing Ella's feeding tube so please keep praying for her to keep eating well. Especially with this recent illness we will be set back a little more I'm guessing because she has lost more weight than I would like so be praying for good eating and good weight gain. We are still going to feeding therapy once a week and she is doing well but has not quite met her goals yet. She is close but still needs to bump up the volume a little more in order to reach her goal. So, pray, pray, pray!

Maybe I need to dig out my "Fat" video to really get her to rally with the eating. At this point in my life I am not above humiliating myself if that is what it takes. To prove my point, I give you Exhibit A: Every Monday/Thursday morning Rick takes Eva to school and as they are getting in the car on most days she will request for me to do the Chicken Dance as they drive away. I know, weird, you don't have to tell me. Anyway, so what does any good mother do? Well, I stand in my pajamas in my garage and do the chicken dance while Rick and Eva slowly pull out of the drive-way and drive away. Not kidding. I choose to believe that instead of thinking I am a complete wack-o, I believe Monday and Thursday mornings at 8:30 MUST be the highlight of my neighbors week. I mean, I would looove it if I saw a grown woman in her pajamas dancing in her garage every week wouldn't you? So, trust me when I say I am not above self-humiliation because obviously I'm not.

Keep praying friends!

Ella

2010-04-16T15:06:00.006-05:00

Soooo, I'm gonna cut right to the chase here on this update with Ella. This is big people, big. By the way, this update is a little lengthy, sorry, it's just been so long since I've given an update and there is much to report. Just thought I'd give ya a warning. It's all great news though so you better read it all. :) We'll start with feeding news first. I'm so excited!
We've moved from this...

to this!!!

What.is.up?? Holla! We are cutting back tube feedings like it's our job around here. Now again, concerning this picture...these days we are focused more on calories/weight gain as opposed to tooth decay, we'll worry about cavities later. Anyone else giving their 19 month old Sonic cokes? Anyone? Anyone? We're feeling pretty good about it so it's cool. ANYWAY, back to Ella's feedings. Man, she has come SO far. When I think about it I get a lump in my throat and I almost start to cry. This past week we dropped her last day time tube feeding which we usually give to her during her nap. This means that we are now down to...drum roll please...only two feedings at night! Umm, in case you missed that, that is two my friends, TWO! Do you realize how huge this is??

Let me do a little recap here for you to better explain. At Ella's shoulder surgery this past August she was not really eating anything by mouth at all and was being fed every three hours around the clock, which met she got 8 feedings a day. They were all by feeding tube. Back then she was vomiting multiple times a day and if she did try to eat anything she would gag and throw up more. We started going to feeding therapy twice a week at Our Children's House in Grapevine in September. Since then, we have slowly dropped feeding after feeding as Ella has slowly started taking more food by mouth and gaining weight. Long story short, in the past eight months we have gone from eating hardly anything and using the feeding tube for every feeding to now eating a breakfast, lunch and dinner and only being fed two times in the middle of the night with her feeding tube. I feel the tears welling up again. I stand amazed. The Lord is so good! We have worked so hard to get to this point and we didn't get here alone. Your continued prayers for Ella have been life changing and we feel so blessed to have such incredible prayer warriors, friends, doctors and therapists who are all working so hard and with such compassion and love for her. Thank you!!

We are now only going to feeding therapy once a week and Ella is getting close every week to reaching her goals. Our main goal with feeding right now is volume. She is willing to try pretty much anything you give her, she just doesn't always eat very much of it. So, we are really working on increasing her intake. Also, we are adding a product called Benecalorie which is a very calorie dense, oil-based liquid to EVERYTHING she eats. This stuff is my new best friend, I mean it's going in yogurt, applesauce, on her pizza, in her burritos, everything. It's awesome! So, that is really helping to bump up the calories even if she doesn't eat a whole lot in one meal. Most meals she eats fairly well but we still have to work at encouraging her to eat more and sometimes we have a stand-off with crying and tears but guess what...momma always wins. I have to with this feeding thing, it's just the way it goes. Most meals though are very pleasant, no vomiting at the table and she acts hungry and eats pretty well. It's really incredible and I don't take a single bite that she takes for granted, I'm so thankful that she is eating. She now will even walk over to her high chair and say "Eat, eat." What? Is this the same child that just 8 months ago would not eat anything? Amazing. Thank you Lord!

Last thing about feeding and then we'll move on. We are so close to hopefully not needing a feeding tube anymore. Like I said, she only gets fed with her tube two times at night right now. Please be praying that she continues to eat well and to gain weight. She is up to 19 pounds now and with dropping a feeding last week she lost 2 ounces which is not bad at all in my opinion. This is usually her pattern when we drop a feed, she'll lose the first week, maintain her weight the next week and then it will slowly go up from there. So, please keep praying for her to eat well and gain weight as we are working towards dropping these last two feedings. My prayer is that by her 2nd birthday in August she will be feeding tube free! We're that close folks.

Okay, next item on the Ella agenda, her shoulder. We went back to Scottish Rite at the end of March for her six month check-up. Since her surgery in August she just took off and responded very well to therapy. For the past several months though we had felt like Ella had kind of hit a wall as far as range of motion goes. She could get her arm up to about 70-75 degrees and that was about it. With help, she could get it to 90 but that starts to push it and she starts compensating by arching her back. The picture below is a good visual for you on what her range is.

At her appointment in March they did some x-rays and answered alot of our questions and confirmed some things about Ella's shoulder. Basically, Ella's shoulder blade on her left side is attached to her spine which is the main problem, so to speak. Things with her shoulder are very complicated so I won't go into every detail because there's alot but I'll try to give a little explanation. I don't know anything about muscles and bones and what they should be attached to but your shoulder blades are not and should not be attached to your spine. So, this is obviously the main contributing factor to her limited range of motion because she can only lift her arm so high and then it just stops because it can't go any further because it's attached. Her arm is also weaker on her left side due to the reattaching of muscles they had to do at her surgery so the strength is just not quite there yet to get her arm up to 90 on her own. She has great use of her arm as long as it is around waist level but anything above that is a bit of a struggle. She is working so hard though and has come a LONG way. We're so proud of her. I remember after she was born, in the NICU and when we brought her home from the hospital she wasn't even using her arm. It's like she didn't even know it was there. We would have to help her use it and remind her that she had a left arm because it just kind of hung at her side.

I think about that a lot and I have to sometimes make myself think about the positives when I get down about the limitations Ella has with her arm. I can start to worry about things and what the future will be like for her but I feel like I've come a long way in my thinking and what I'm thankful for. I am so thankful that Ella has two beautiful, functional arms. Yes, there are limitations and yes things are and look different on her left side as opposed to her right but she has two beautiful arms. I thank God for that all the time and for the expertise and wisdom that he gave to her surgeons to repair her deformity and give her a chance to thrive in a world that is so cruel to those who look different. God has blessed her so much.

So what does the future hold? Well, basically the range of motion that Ella has now is what she will have. So in therapy we're working on strengthening now instead of range. The surgeons alluded that surgery in the future is a possibility as far as cutting her shoulder blade away from her spine in hopes of giving her more range. So, this does give us hope that more can be done. I don't know though what future means, if that means when she is 8 or 18. I do know that nothing will be done any time soon because she is still so small and they don't want to do anything that will risk impairing the function she does have in her arm. So for many more years the range she has now is going to be what she's got. I'm okay with this now but at the time it was hard to hear. There is much hope though that more can be done. Also, in additon to all of that Ella also has some abnormal vertebra in her cervical spine (which is at the top of your spine) that they want to keep close tabs on. It's all related to her shoulder but some of the vertebra are malformed and fused together so they want to look more closely at that to make sure if there is something we need to do that we don't miss a window. We'll go back to Scottish Rite in June to meet with a spinal surgeon to look more closely at things so we may have more info then.

I don't have any new updates on things with her tummy. You can see again in the picture above how her tummy bulges out because of her hernia. I don't know when she will have surgery to repair that, more than likely it will be when she is 3 or 4. We haven't been back to her tummy surgeon recently but that's the time frame he gave then. That surgery would involve pulling Ella's abdominal muscles together to achieve full muscle closure instead of just the skin closure she has now, cleaning up her scars and hopefully creating her a cute little belly button. Oh did I mention that before? Yeah, all babies born with abdominal wall defects like Ella do not have belly buttons and there is a much more scientific explanation for why but I'm not your girl for that. Who knew? I mean, who needs a belly button anyway right?

For now, there are no surgeries in the immediate future so we're just enjoying watching Ella walk and talk and we're cherishing seeing her sweet personality blossom. We don't take any of it for granted. There are a lot of unknowns out there still and there will be more surgeries to come but we are just taking it one day at a time and thanking God for brighter days.

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family and specifically for Ella. If you made it through this I'm impressed, but didn't I say there was good news to report? Told you. Thanks for loving us and keep praying for Miss Ella!

Happy Easter!

2010-04-03T16:16:00.006-05:00

Aaannnd HAPPY it is! Is this not the picture of fun and happiness? Who is having fun here? Oh man, why do we do this to our poor children...make them take pictures with big, costumed people we don't know. No, no even better, not just take a picture with but force them to hug and sit on someone's lap who is dressed up like a big, furry animal. Why do we do it you ask? Simple, for this picture right here my friends. Hysterical, I just love it.

On a more serious note, I pray that each of you have a blessed Easter weekend celebrating our risen Lord Jesus and the freedom we have in Him. We have much to be thankful for!

Stay tuned because a big Ella update is coming. I realized it's been awhile since I've updated about how things are going with Ella as far as feedings, therapies, etc. so that is coming. There is big news...our girl is 19 months and is finally walking, talking constantly and feedings are SO much better! Can't wait to share with you the good news. I'll leave you with this picture. Ella is one amazing little girl and has come so far, thank you Lord! I've got my hands full with this one and I love it. More to come!

What happened to safety first?? This child is fearless!

Eva, Eva, Eva

2010-03-02T14:13:00.001-06:00

How is it possible that I didn't have one post in the month of February? Not one mind you, not one! Man, I'm falling off the wagon here. I've really had high hopes for updating my blog more often but obviously that's just not happening. I'm going to do better, I will. March is gonna be it, I can feel it, my lucky month for more updating. Don't hold your breath but I'm just saying. February was a fun but busy month...Rick's parents and cousin Emery came to visit for a week and we got an amazing 1.5 feet of snow just to name a couple of things. Here are some pictures of that because now that it's March if I don't document it now it's never going to happen. Back to the fact that it's March already...is this crazy to anyone else? Unbelievable.

Eva and Ella LOOOOOVE their cousin Emery or "Emma" as Eva calls her. Poor Emery was called Emma the whole week she was here, hope she doesn't have an identity crisis later. :) We had so much fun with her, she is the sweetest thing!

Looking at the snow with Dee

Fun with CC

Aaaannnd, here is the post I've been promising about Eva. Oh man, I just love this girl, she cracks me up everyday. She is always doing something or into something and it just makes me laugh. Here are some of my favorite Eva stories from the past few weeks...or actually maybe months now since I'm a blog slacker.

1. I'm going to title this one "BooDonald's." Okay, so several months ago on our Thanksgiving road trip to Kansas City Eva and McDonald's pancakes had a bit of a run in. We stopped on our way back home to eat breakfast and Eva had pancakes, everyone was feeling good (as good as you can be after McDonald's breakfast), we got back in the car and went on our merry way. Well, fast forward an hour into the trip and the pancakes all came back up. I'll spare you the details on this one but yes in the car, I was wedged in between the two carseats in the back at the time so I had a front row seat to the show. Fantastic I tell you, Eva really did a number with this one, poor thing. I wasn't prepared because usually it's Ella throwing up everywhere not Eva so this wasn't on my vomit radar AT ALL. This might have been the lowpoint in the trip. Anyway, EVER since then everytime we would pass a McDonald's Eva would say, "I no like Donald's." Since there are McDonald's every 2.3 miles we hear this ALOT. Well, so Rick thought he would jazz things up a bit so he taught Eva to give a loud "Booooo McDonald's!" every time she sees one. Thanks Rick. She doesn't really get as into it as Rick. Hers is a little more meek and not quite with as much energy. It just kind of comes out as one word, "BooDonald's." Love it.

I, however, am a fan, the only fan of McDonald's in our family for two reasons: 1) The dollar menu and 2) double drive-thru lanes. I will say that I do get a little embarrassed ordering a McDouble everytime I go. Hamburgers with funny names are just a little much for me. I mean who are the ad wizards behind naming things at Wendy's? The Stack Attack, The Baconater...really? Do people really order these things? I just can't do it, I can't, but I will muster the strength and order a McDouble. I just don't think about the fact that I'm eating a hamburger that ONLY costs a dollar. I know, gross, don't think about it. And double drive-thru lanes, what more can you say? GENIUS I tell you, genius.

2. Eva has learned the phrase "Drop a deuce" from somewhere or someone. I have NO IDEA where she would've learned this. :) I'm going to throw Rick under the bus on this one. There are still many words that Eva says that don't always come out very clear but wouldn't you know this phrase comes out clear as a bell. They always do don't they? I mean what can you really do at this point, tell her to stop saying it? No, not an option, this one is too good. All you can do at this point is just be proud. Am I right? Am.I.right??

3. Okay, I'm just going to run with the bathroom theme here and continue on. This little number I will call, "Rick, Eva, and the Runaway Terd." So a while back one day Eva had a little accident, thought to only be numero uno at the time, so Rick being the helpful husband that he is said he would help her change clothes etc. We were at my parents house so he went into another room and was trying to help her change clothes. She was kind of acting funny about changing her pants and wouldn't do it and I think Rick was getting a tad frustrated with her so instead of waiting for her to take them off he just did it for her. Well, I little surprise rolled out when he did that...and kept rolling and rolling and disappeared. After searching the room poor Rick finally found the lonely and missing terd under the bed. So great. What is most funny to me about this story I think was Rick's reaction at the time and the fact that he was back there combing the bedroom over for a missing piece of poop. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at him telling me what happened and then saying, "It rolled away somewhere and I couldn't find it." Hilarious, just kills me. Love you babe, you're the best!

4. Am I really writing this much about poop on the World Wide Web? I feel like I should apologize to my mom for being "crude" as she would say. She knows I love good bathroom humor but still, sorry mom!

5. I love that Eva calls Ella by her first AND last name most every time. She pronounces it "Aiya Cawder." Like today she asked me, "Aiya Cawder go to doctor?" So funny.

6. Eva loves to play with baby dolls and take care of them. She loves to change their diapers, pretend to take them to the doctor and church, you know because these are again, really the main two places we frequent. Anyway, the other day she was pushing her baby doll around in her grocery cart and here was our conversation.
Me: Where are you going?
Eva: Doctor, baby is sick.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, what's wrong with the baby?
Eva: Her nose hurts.
Me: What happened to her nose?
Eva: Baby's got "boogies."
Wow, last time I checked I don't know that anyone in our family or anyone ever has gone to the doctor specificly because of boogers but stranger things have happened so you never know. Cracks me up.

Poop and boogers aside, there is much more to precious Eva than this. She is so sweet and fun to be around. She is very observant and compassionate. She loves her sister Ella and is very understanding about all of her doctor appointments and she loves to participate and help Ella during her therapy sessions. So sweet! She is the best big sister and takes such good care of Ella.

Check out this multi-tasking...pushing Ella in her baby doll stroller AND pushing Ella's IV pole. Impressive and helpful I might add. Told you she was the best big sis!

She loves her friends and family and prays for them by name every night. I love listening to her little prayers. She loves to help with things around the house and pick out her own clothes. She loves Sonic or "Sockin" as she calls it. She is as slow as molasses but so am I so it's okay most of the time. She loves lip gloss and heels and I often find her in my bathroom wearing my shoes, putting on my deodorant and with lipstick smeared all over her face. Awesome...except for this week because she has a light rash on her face and neck and I think it's because she got into some funky moisturizer or something while I wasn't watching.

Rick just shakes his head and makes some kind of comment about how she is a mini me and that we've created a monster here but deep down I know he loves it! She is just a joy, we obviously have our moments like everyone does but she really is a true joy and a blessing. I thank God everyday for the miracle that she is and that He healed her and gave her to me. I love being her mom and I feel so blessed to have her.

Safety First

2010-01-30T11:10:00.008-06:00

First off I would like to say thank you for all of your sweet and encouraging comments on my last post. Sometimes I get in reflection mode and feel the need to put it into words to share and you all are so sweet to encourage me in that. I think since we're now going into year #2 with Ella and things are more manageable I've had more time to think. So, just be prepared to get more of where that came from. :)

Anyway, on a lighter note, here's what our Ella has been up to lately. The girl has taken a liking to Eva's scooter helmet. Actually, liking is putting it lightly, I would say she is borderline OBSESSED with it. You know how us Carders are all about safety, but really, this is taking it to a whole new level. If she spots the helmet somewhere she follows you around the house and whines until you put it on her head. AND, it must be buckled or she whines about that too. Sheesh! So high maintenance.

I'm talking morning, all through the day and night she will wear this thing. You would think for a child who had to wear a Cranial Band for 4 1/2 months she wouldn't want anything on her head. But, no, it's like an orange on a toothpick! Remember the movie So I Married an Axe Murderer with Mike Myers anyone? Remember the guy with the huge head they called "Head" but pronounced Heed? Yeah, that's Ella, Heed. Kills me. Just a little blast from the past there for ya.

So here's a little glimpse of some of what a day in the life is like...with the helmet of course.

Don't worry, got it on while we're feeding.

Sweet sister Eva keeping Ella company while she gets fed.
Working on eating some puffs and M&M's. Yeah, we eat M&M's for breakfast, lunch and dinner, don't worry about it. She loves them so you better believe I have them with me at all times, I even carry them in my purse and she gets them whenever she wants. Finally, something with calories! We might have cavities later but dog gone it we're trying to gain weight here. This picture cracks me up...not necessarily the best for promoting your child. Face all dirty, huge weird wonky helmet, shirt not even buttoned. Nice.

Just playing and "helping" mom unload the dishwasher.

Just "walking" around the house. For those of you who haven't seen Ella, she walks on her knees. Everywhere. It's hilarious. She wants to be walking so badly so she just walks around on her knees. I have it on video so when I figure out how to post video I'll put that up so you can see. It's great. Poor thing really needs some knee pads. Not kidding, her little knees are so red and chapped. I mean, look at her body/head size relation. This helmet is HUGE!

Even at bedtime we sssssttttiilll have on the helmet.

There ya go. The fun never stops around here. And don't forget about our other child. Wait, what? Is that Eva or Cruella Deville? It's not weird AT ALL that I have one child who wears a scooter helmet 12 sizes too big all day and the other one is sitting around in a bouncy seat looking all creepy in her fur coat. Good stuff I tell ya, good stuff.

I'll post on Eva next because she is one funny cat and she deserves a shout out every once in awhile. So, get ready for that because it will, as usual, involve some bathroom humor. You know you love it just as much as I do. Hey, I'm just trying to give the people what they want so don't judge. Stay tuned!

Thoughts on 2009

2010-01-06T21:31:00.008-06:00

HAAAALLELUJAH, 2010 is here!! Is anyone else excited to say good-bye to 2009? Anyone, anyone? Can I get an Amen up in here? Dawg, it's been a looooong, hard year. Thank you Lord for new beginnings! Lately I've been thinking a lot about this past year and all that we've been through with Ella and one word keeps coming to me over and over again and that is the word thankful. 2009 was an extremely difficult year full of many valleys and dark days but at the same time there were many mountains and blessings even in the darkness.

***Just FYI, this post has no pictures, is a bit honest and raw so if you're not in the mood for that than you might not want to read this. I guess this post is just part of me processing things and you've been with me for the long haul, the plate-throwing and so on but just wanted to give you a heads up. You're welcome. :)***

I remember at this time last year things were really starting to sink in for me that things with Ella were not going to get better any time soon and that there were some major things wrong that were going to take a long time to heal or maybe were never going to heal. I just thought that once she came home from the NICU things were going to be so much better and she would start eating, we wouldn't need a feeding tube and she would just develop like any other child. Ummm, yeah, so that's not how it went down. Things with Ella were much harder and more complicated than we knew or expected.

There was so much I didn't know about children with omphaloceles
(pronounced om-fal-o-seel) and how their little bodies are just so different on the inside than ours and what that meant for Ella. I didn't know how to help her eat or stop throwing up. I didn't know what was wrong and I just felt so completely helpless. I didn't know how I was going to wait for many more months before doctors would even begin to consider doing anything about her shoulder deformity. I dreaded going to new doctors appointments and having to explain again all of our concerns and questions and having to undress her and explain yet again, "Oh, by the way, she has this deformity, just so you know." Really, sometimes I would laugh out loud when they would ask, "So do you have any concerns?" Do I have concerns?! I wanted to say, "Well, besides the fact that she was born with numerous organs outside of her body, has a major deformity, can barely use her left arm or turn her head to that side, is vomiting multiple times a day and night, and will not eat unless she is in a dark, quiet room and is asleep just to name the major ones...umm, other than that no, nope, no concerns to speak of." But I didn't. I would just say yes, I do have a number of concerns and Rick and I would look at each other and then probably give some sort of an awkward laugh. I don't know, call me crazy. (Let's be honest, I think I was a bit crazy then. :)) Seriously? And this was only the beginning.

Those were some really hard, hard days and nights. Days that brought me to my knees. Days that were filled with exhaustion, frustration, sadness and little hope. Days with moments where I was so low I did'nt know how I was literally going to pull myself off the floor and stop crying. Most nights I was up almost every hour until we were blessed to receive night help three nights a week. Rick was going to bed early and getting up early so he could take over monitoring Ella so I could get at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep before he left for work. For several months I would have nightmares from time to time or wake up and just cry because it hurts so badly when you have a child that struggles so much. Those were nights I had a hard time catching my breath...even out of a dead sleep. I don't know that the word hard even comes close to being able to describe what every day and night was like.

A word that does describe my feelings, again, is thankful. I'm at the point now that I can look back and honestly say that I'm thankful for 2009 even though it was by far the worst year of our life. I'm thankful for some of those dark times. Don't get me wrong, I'm soooo thankful that 2010 is starting out much brighter and that I feel like there actually is light for us. But, there is something to be said and many things to be learned when you're in the darkness. I much prefer brighter days and don't want to spend much time in the black tunnels or relive any of what we've been through. BUT, the Lord is amazing in how He gives us treasures that can only be found when you're in the dark. They can be very simple things, sometimes big things and sometimes not even tangible things. Sometimes the treasure was in the moment I was curled up in a ball on the floor crying unable to stand and finally I would hear His soft voice saying, "I'm here, I love you, I know it's hard but it's going to be okay. You will see." And somewhere not out of my own strength but out of His I was able to get up, look in the mirror and say His name out loud and I felt like I had the strength to face the day. A verse that a friend gave to me comes from Isaiah 4:3and it says, "He will not break a crushed blade of grass or put out even a weak flame..." I felt crushed and weak but this verse gave me strength many days that even though I felt like was just being kicked while I was down, He would not let me go. What a treasure. He is alive and working and never leaves even when it's dark and quiet and we're wondering if He's listening at all.

There were so many days that I was just making it hour to hour and a sweet friend would show up at my house unexpected to just sit on the couch and offer encouraging words. Others would come and play with Eva, do my laundry, straighten my house or come with arms full of groceries or a trunk full of diapers. Wise friends and elders would come month after month to help us process what we had been through and how they could help us survive and move forward and function as a family. Others would write encouraging notes, send gift cards, and call week after week just so I knew I wasn't forgotten in this struggle. We were supported in every way...spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. Everyone just dove in. Just jumped into our life and opened their hearts and eyes to what the Lord was putting on their hearts to do and just did it. We certainly didn't know what our needs were because we had so many and were so overwhelmed but our sweet friends and family just did for us and didn't ask.

I'm thankful because in those dark times I learned more about the Lord and how much He loves me and cares about my little insignificant problems that seem so big to me. Sure, there were days that I can honestly say I was angry at God and I didn't want to talk to Him because I had no idea what to even say. I didn't want to even open my Bible and I didn't for a long time. But, He was there and showed us by giving us friends, family, and even people we didn't know that reached out to us as His hands and feet. I'm thankful for the good times too. Many prayers have been answered, some the way I wanted and some not, but they most definitely were answered. I'm thankful that I have an amazing husband and two beautiful daughters. I'm thankful that I live in a city where I have expert medical help within driving distance. I'm thankful that I finally feel like we're able to sit and enjoy our children. We can go to the park as a family. We can go on walks, play together after dinner or go visit grandparents. These sound like normal, simple things and they are but they weren't for us for so long. We could not do these things up until the last couple of months since Ella is doing so much better so the little things are big to us and we don't take them for granted now and I hope we never do.

I feel like the world will forever look different in my eyes because of Ella and because of what I learned about myself, others and the Lord in 2009. It's been life changing. I'm hopeful that 2010 will be a better year for our family. I believe the Lord has great plans for us and because of what we've gone through with Ella, we will be more prepared and refined to be used by Him. I'm excited to see what He has in store for us this year. I know I have a lot of surrendering to do, a lot of listening to do and a lot of getting to know Him more.

Thank you for walking beside us this year through the good, the bad and the ugly. Your prayers, encouragement and support have kept us afloat. We consider you some of our treasures in the darkness. Thank you! Please keep praying for Ella.

I'll lighten the mood next post and include some pictures...promise!

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-24T00:00:00.004-06:00

Well, well, look who's back. I tought I needed to do a brief update since I've been on a month and half long blogging hiatus. The Carders are still alive and kicking. Seriously, what happened? No, I have not been in one of my funks, surprising I know. You know me and my funks. Again, can we just talk about how great the word funk is? You say it and...BAM! Instant better mood. Things have just been crazy here much like it is for everyone I'm sure and I've just gotten so behind on the ole blogging. So, don't be surprised in January when I do a post about Thanksgiving and our first family road trip EVER to Kansas City. Holla!! Just go ahead and throw me a bone okay?

So much has happened in the past month and a half so there is BIG news to update on. I'll do a more in depth post after Christmas but just a few praises are my parents moved to Fort Worth over Thanksgiving! Yeah, AAAAMMMAAAZZZIINNGG! What a blessing to have them here. The doors kept opening for them as they thought and prayed about moving here and now here they are. Sold their house in less than a week and bought one here the same week. Pretty awesome. The Lord is good.

Also, Ella is doing really, really well. Feedings are going great, there is NO vomiting. Praise the Lord! We went from vomiting every single day, multiple times a day for a year to now none. NONE! She is actually acting hungry for the first time in her life and sleeping great at night just to name a few positive things. Right before Thanksgiving we started her on an antihistamine purely for the side effect that it increases appetite. And lo and behold the girl is eating like you wouldn't believe. She is taking an average now of around 4 ounces in her bottle in like 15 minutes where as before it would take us about 20-30 minutes to get her to take an ounce and half. Yeah, the pace and volume have picked up tremendously. So, note to self, if I ever have to be on an antihistamine, this is not the one to take. You might stop sneezing but you'll gain 25 pounds. Not cool for anyone but Ella who actually needs to gain weight. We've seen a huge difference since starting her on the new medicine. We are still using the feeding tube for every feeding but feedings are not taking as long which is wonderful. She is eating more table food and isn't gagging like she was. She actually points at food and acts like she wants it and says "bite" or "baba" when she sees her bottle. I know, who is this kid?! This is just incredible since before this was the child who could go all day and not eat a thing and be the happiest kid on the planet. I don't know, feeding is unfortunately very complicated for most babies like Ella who were born with an omphalocele, but over time the prognosis is very good that they will eat. Ella has made tremendous progress and we could not be prouder or more thankful. It's not what you would call "normal" but it is big steps in the right direction.

Also, we cut out another feeding a week or so ago so now we are down to 5 feedings a day. WOO HOO! AND, she had her biggest weight gain yet this week even though we cut out a feeding. This is so exciting for us! She is eating more food by mouth as well and is very willing to try new things. She is such a little fighter! Our goal is still weight gain but now we are really trying to make her daily feeding schedule more age appropriate and we're working on getting more volume in table food wise. Things still are very micro-managed and it is definitely a team effort between us, her therapists, dieticians, and doctors but the hard work is paying off. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter for us. Thank you Lord! There have been plenty of days that I wondered if there ever would be light or if someone forgot to put an end to this dark tunnel we have been in this past year. The Lord is faithful in the good times and the dark times and we have never doubted His love for us. We have a lot to work on still but things have definitely taken a turn for the better so KEEP PRAYING!! Your prayers are life changing and greatly coveted, thank you for being so committed to praying for Ella. Keep praying for her, she's come a loooong way and still has a ways to go.

Anyway, really I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and let you know how much we love and cherish each of you. We're so thankful for you and how you bless our family with love, support, encouragement and prayer. I hope that all of you have a blessed holiday season celebrating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and all that He has done for us. More details on Ella's progress and other news to come, check back soon!

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

2009-11-10T21:14:00.007-06:00

GUESS WHO IS PULLING UP AND STANDING BY HERSELF???

Yours truly, little Miss Ella Hope Carder. What a big girl! Today she figured it out and has been pulling up on EVERYTHING. We're so proud of her and this just shows us that she really has gotten so much stronger. We didn't know when she would start pulling up because her left arm is still weak and she has a hard time reaching up with it, which pulling up requires you to do. However, even though her range of motion is limited and her arm is weaker than her right, she is able to use it to help pull herself up. Yea Ella! It's so encouraging to see because we still have a long way to go as far as stretching and strengthening her muscles on that side. Time will tell what her range of motion will be in her left arm. Her shoulder deformity was very rare and her shoulder surgery was the first her surgeons had ever performed of it's kind so really none of us know what she'll be able to do or what kind of range she will have. We just know that she has made good progress so far and we're just continuing to pray that the Lord will heal and strengthen her arm and give her full range of motion.

Another thing that has made it harder for Ella to stand on her own is her weak abdominal muscles. If you remember, her ab muscles are not closed because at her omphalocele repair surgery at birth it was such a tight fit getting the organs put back in that they were not able to pull her muscles together. It was just a skin closure so because of this she has a hernia which she will have surgery for to repair in the next several years. Anyway, because of all of that her ab muscles are weak so things like walking, pulling up and other things are harder and often delayed for babies like Ella.

So, can you see why we are SOOO excited that she has reached this milestone?? She is a hard worker and is so cooperative in all of her therapies that she is in which is such a blessing. Please keep praying for her, the prayers are definitely being felt and answered. Keep praying this week that she tolerates her feedings and gains weight. The dietician came today and Ella gained about 2 ounces which is good but we were hoping for a bigger gain. At least she didn't lose so that is a step in the right direction. So this means that we will continue on with our schedule of six feedings a day and try to increase her volume daily. This whole feeding/weight gain thing is very complicated,micro-managed,overwhelming and hard to understand, I know, unless you have a child with feeding issues.

So, please continue to pray for us as we try to figure all of this out with Ella and make decisions that will work for her and our family. We have a lot of great help medically with it all which is a huge blessing but feeding is a very overwhelming and slllloooowwww process. Slow meaning probably for several more years. I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer or appear as if I'm giving up hope, I'm just being realistic. So that's why sometimes it's hard for me to answer when I'm asked "How are feedings going?" or "How's Ella?" I mean, I don't know...she is doing well and we are definitely blessed, but things are not great or near being "normal." It's BETTER, but it's still hard and we have a long way to go. Please know that I love that people care and genuinely want to know how things are going and how to pray so don't take this at all to mean that I feel awkward or annoyed by the questions because I definitely appreciate and want them. I feel immensely blessed by such an amazing support system with friends and family who have and continue to help us so much and I don't take it for granted. You know me, I just can't sugar-coat things so hopefully without making others feel awkward by my response to their questions I try to be as honest as possible without going into great detail that no one really can understand anyway because they're not in my shoes. Does that make any sense? Hope so and sorry if it doesn't. It's just that with a child like Ella who has some special and specific needs you don't see big changes day to day so sometimes I feel like we've gotten nowhere and I'm banging my head against a wall with all of this but the truth is she has made great improvements, it's just baby steps when I want giant leaps. I'm learning to be thankful for baby steps and I just have to remind myself of where we started from. Last year on this day Ella had her G-button surgery and was still in the hospital so I would say we've come a long way wouldn't you? I mean, this past Saturday night at dinner the girl ate 1 1/2 french fries(a girl after my own heart :)), two slices of carrots and part of a mandarin orange slice. Seriously, let's get this child some fries and let 'er go to town! What a difference a year makes. Thank you Lord!

Ella one year ago

Wow, this post is getting a little longer than I had planned. You get me going on this whole feeding and special needs children topic and I could talk for awhile. Get ready because there will be more where that I came from. I am definitely learning A LOT through our struggles with Ella and it has opened my eyes to this world that we are in along with so many other families of children that need extra special care. I don't feel alone in this thanks to our amazing families, friends and support system. I feel different, but not alone. Thank you Lord for being faithful to us! Keep praying, love to all!

Halloween Fun

2009-11-03T15:32:00.009-06:00

This past weekend we had a fun time going to a little pumpkin patch by our house and then to a Halloween party. It was so fun because we actually got to do these things as a family. I know that sounds weird but really we rarely go anywhere besides church or maybe to the park as a family. It's just been too difficult with Ella's feeding schedule to be able to do much without sacrificing a feeding or getting off schedule. That sounds a bit rigid and we're not trying to be but when you have several appointments every day and Ella has to be fed so often we have to stay on schedule in order to work in all of her appointments and keep feedings on track. So micro-managed I know, but that's just our life! So anyway, that's why weekends like this past one where we got to do some things outside of our house as a family are so fun and we actually feel semi-normal.

On a side note, this weekend was different because we dropped one of Ella's feedings so she's down to six feedings a day instead of seven. So if you saw us out and about more this past weekend, this is why. It's not that things have miraculously gotten better all of sudden, we just dropped a feeding so we had more time to actually leave the house and not have to rush back to feed Ella. This feeding schedule is huge because it gives us SO much more flexibility with feedings and time during the day to do things such as going to the pumpkin patch. It was so nice to have more time in between feedings and to actually let Ella take a long nap and not wake her up to eat. I think this weekend was the first time in her life she was able to take a long afternoon nap without having to be woken up to be fed. Poor thing. This past weekend was a trial run with the whole six feedings thing and the dietician came today and weighed her and she had lost some weight. :( Boo. But, we decided we're going to give it another week doing six feedings and we're going to bump up the volume a little in each of her feeds in hopes that we can continue with this schedule and she'll still gain weight. We'll see next week when the dietician comes back to weigh her. Seriously, be praying that this will work and that she will gain weight. I'm not kidding, y'all pray!!

Anyway, back to the weekend, we went to a little pumpkin patch to try to get some pictures of the girls which was fun but a little wheels off. It was sooooo muddy and the only place to take pictures you had to stare into the blinding sun so the pictures didn't turn out quite as good as I had hoped. Classic. We all looked like we were in pain because our faces were all scrunched up from trying to do the awkward blinding-sun-smile-but-trying-to-smile-normal thing. You know. I didn't post any of those because they're just rough. Maybe I should though just for kicks. Anyway, needless to say, we didn't stay long and we were just a taaaddd bit muddy. Oh well, a little mud never hurt nobody...shoot. The next day we went to our friend's annual Halloween party and trick or treating. We had a great time and it was Ella's first "official" Halloween since last year at this time she was still in the hospital. We didn't do any partying then either because we were up at the hospital visiting her. Her sweet friends in the NICU made sure she was all festive in her ghost onesie though for us when we came to visit.

Last year at this time, sweet baby girl! Unbelievable how she's changed.
We had great time dressing the girls up this year and visiting with friends. Ella was a nurse and Eva was an M&M. Appropriate don't you think?

Sweet Eva, the girl loves candy so being an M&M is just right up her alley. Don't you love that her hands look a little like Edward Scissorhands? These gloves were the best I could find so we just went with it.

Ella Carder R.N. with her first pair of heels

Aren't these shoes "heelarious?" Seriously, that's what they're called, I'm not that clever people.

The crazy nurse will not sit still for a picture and look at her face...she totally knows she's being difficult and is thoroughly enjoying herself. Wonderful.

Aaannnd this is about the best I could do getting a picture of the two of them together. What is with Ella's crazy legs everywhere? Good night...

Guess what we are? Isn't it obvious? Yes, I am the Octomom and Rick is the paparazzi. Can't you totally tell? :) That's what you were going to guess right?Well, this was a last minute costume (if you can call it that) and bottom line is I am too cheap to pay for a black wig and I lost my sunglasses 30 minutes before the party so the only accessory to my costume was Ella's carseat filled with 8 of Eva's baby dolls. As for Rick, obviously this picture was taken with our camera which was his main costume accessory so this is what you're left with...Rick and Amy dressed as ourselves but really supposed to be the Octomom and the paparazzi. Hey, at least we tried right?

Sweet Nurse Ella taking care of all the babies

All in all we had a fun weekend being a family and getting to spend some time with friends.

Eva trick or treating with her friends Emma and Addie

Eva trying to figure out the pinata

It's okay Eva, yo Mama ain't skeered of a little pinata. Dude, I should've had a permanent pinata up in my backyard this past year. I could've switched back and forth between hitting that thing around and throwing my plates. It's not too late, maybe I'll look into that. Aaahhh, very therapeutic. I think I have a new found love for pinatas.

Going after the candy

Eves checkin' out the loot yo

Isn't this so sweet? I just love this picture! Precious.

Pray for good feedings and weight gain this week for little Ella!!

Spandex are ALWAYS Cool

2009-10-27T15:04:00.007-05:00

Weeeelll, so I have had great intentions of updating my blog more than twice a month but it just hasn't happened. As usual, things are moving at a fast pace around here and I haven't had the time to do much blog stalking which is always a shame. You know how much fun that is. Anyway, thought I'd do a little catch up on what's been happening around the Carder crib lately. Sorry for the long posts folks, I'll do better next time.

1. So Ella has a new accessory that she's been wearing around the house which are her super cool hot red spandex shorts. Aren't they great? Hilarious. Every time she has them on I can't help but think of Six Flags, early 90's. Don't you remember how many people wore spandex/unitards to Six Flags back in the day? Man, they were everywhere. I mean these people came.to.play. And I feel bad saying it but it was always the people that really shouldn't have been wearing spandex. These are the people that would ride the Log Ride like 12 times and be soaking wet and then I was the lucky girl that was next in line behind them at The Runaway Mine Train and had to sit on a warm, wet seat that smelled like a foot. You remember this right? Yeah, anyway, I guess that's why they wore their unitards to Six Flags, great for the Log Ride...it just wicks that moisture right away from you and on to everyone else.

Anyway, I am digressing. Back to Ella and her spandex, they are so tight and are kind of like a little skirt that is sown a little between the legs so they're not really normal shorts. She is supposed to wear them as much as possible every day. They are called Hip Helpers and they're supposed to help her crawl more up on her knees like this...

Instead of like this where her knees are flat on the floor.

She definitely can get around fine and is getting pretty fast crawling with her legs flat but we would really like her to get up on her knees. I think she crawls with her legs out flat to compensate for her left arm. It takes a lot more upper body strength to crawl on your knees so she hasn't been doing it and has just figured out a way to get around that's easier. She's a smart one. She does this funny little hop/crawl thing but hopefully with her Hip Helpers she will get used to being on her knees and that will help her keep her legs under her more and build more upper body strength, especially in her left arm. The first couple of times she had them on she would just sit in the middle of the floor and not crawl at all or she would only crawl a little bit and then just lay down and cry. But now she doesn't seem to mind them so that's good.

2. Other than that, she is doing well. Feedings are going about the same and feeding therapy is going well. Yesterday in feeding therapy she ate two green beans, a few bites of a banana and a few pieces of freeze-dried fruit. That was the best she's done, volume-wise so that was encouraging. We are just continuing to work hard to make feeding a positive time and include her as much as we can during family meal times. It's not always the usual dinner scene like at other people's houses unless dinner at your house involves lots of cheering and clapping and someone occasionally gagging and vomiting at the table. Anybody want to join the Carder's for dinner? We'll save you a spot right next to Ella. :) Anyway, She is making good progress and we're really proud of how far she's come this past year. It's kind of like two steps forward, one step back with this whole feeding thing and I'm really having to give it to the Lord because it is very overwhelming at times. A week or two ago I was falling apart and just felt so overwhelmed, sad, and angry but this week I'm back on the horse and doing much better. I have weeks like that every now and then and I think it's because I start thinking more than one day at a time and I want things to get better faster and I start thinking I can fix things. If I think ahead more than one day at a time I get COMPLETELY freaked out and fall apart. So, one day at a time is all I can do and I have to remind myself that Ella belongs to the Lord and not to me and He has great plans for her even when things are not going the way I think they should.

3. In other news, we went back to Scottish Rite for another check up on Ella's arm and they were very pleased with how things are looking and progressing. They are just amazed at how she is moving her arm and felt like they don't need to see her for another 6 months! Woohoo! She's working hard in OT and PT and is making good progress, her arm is not as tight and stiff as it was so that is good news. Until our next appointment we'll just continue to work hard with her and her amazing therapists and see what happens.

These are her two main surgeons at Scottish Rite, Dr. Oishi and Dr. Ezaki. They are amazing! The Lord has definitely given them incredible wisdom and skill and we are forever grateful for how they have used it to help Ella. They are life-changers!

4. The Rickster turned 32 this month so we had a family outing to Chili's. It was fun and Ella loved the Molten Chocolate Cake. However, the public was apparently not loving the fact that I was feeding my little baby bites of ice cream and cake because I got several stare-downs as I would happily give her a bite and cheer for her because she actually swallowed and didn't gag. I forget that to others who don't know her, Ella looks like she's probably 5 or 6 months old because she's so small as opposed to 13 months so people thought I was feeding my 5 month old baby cake and ice cream. Oooh, if they only knew the half of it they would be cheering right along with me because as long as she's eating we don't care what it is.

The birthday boy with his girls

5. This last week Rick and I went to a conference in Austin while both our moms came and kept the girls. It was soooo great!! We haven't been able to do anything like this in over a year so it was great to get away for a little bit. No therapy, no feedings, no responsibility for children. Awesome. Our sweet moms are amazing and they took care of Ella's therapies, feedings, getting Eva to school and other appointments. Thank you, Thank you!! They kept things rolling for five days while we were gone and even took Eva to the zoo and all four of them took in a little air show close to our house. They are super-grandmas!! I didn't worry one bit while we were gone, if anything I felt a little bad that I was just living it up while they were working so hard for us. We are so blessed to have such supportive families who are willing and able to help us so much. We don't take it for granted and we are so thankful for each of them. We are so blessed.

Who are these people? Don't we look relaxed? :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers, help and encouragement. Days are still hard but the Lord is continuing to give us strength for the journey in so many ways. He is faithful. Please keep praying for us!

13 Months Old

2009-10-03T21:37:00.005-05:00

13 months people. 13 months old...unbelievable I tell you. I would say time flies when you're having fun but I wouldn't say times are so fun around here or that time is flying. Mrrrr...Mrrrr. I know, Debbie Downer strikes again. Things have been a little rough so I haven't been blogging because a) our daily schedule is crrraaazy and I haven't had time and b) honestly, I've just been a tad bit overwhelmed and in a foul mood. I know that attitude is a choice and I definitely was not choosing to be very joyful, I admit that, but sometimes I just get tired of all of this and trying to stay positive all the time. Things are still very hard and although Ella has come a LONG way, there is still a LONG way to go and it's just overwhelming at times. Trying not to complain here but I'm not good at sugar-coating things so I'm just being honest.

The past couple of weeks we've been transitioning Ella from Enfamil A.R. to a higher calorie formula, Nutren Jr., in hopes she would tolerate it well and we could spread out her feedings as well as not have to give her as much at each feeding. This plan has not gone well. She does not like the Nutren Jr. and refuses to take any of it by mouth and fights you the whole time. So we went from her taking some of her old formula by mouth, which over the past year we have worked really hard to get her to do, to her taking nothing. Zero at every feeding. This was very discouraging for me because this was not the direction we needed to be heading. In addition to not eating she was also vomiting after almost every feeding as well as in the middle of the night. Awesome. So needless to say we needed a new plan. We had an appointment with her GI doc and laid it all out for her and told her we're coming close to being at the end of our rope with this whole feeding every three hours thing. I mean really, she's 13 months old and we're still on a newborn feeding schedule! Killin' me here. I understand why it has to be this way but still, it's killing me. To clarify, the reason Ella has to be fed every three hours is because she has a small stomach and is not able to tolerate large volumes so we have to feed her less volume more often until she can tolerate more. Also, she is very small for her age so she needs all the calories she can get.

Anyway, the doctor said to go back to feeding her Enfamil A.R. by mouth since she did okay with it and to put the higher calorie formula through her g-button. It makes feedings a little more involved but this plan works much better. So we're doing a combination of both formulas and she told us for mental health reasons to just skip one feeding a day to give us all a little bit of a break. It has helped and Ella is not vomiting like she was and she's doing better taking some formula by mouth so that is good. Now we have to calculate how much she's taken by mouth, subtract this and that, multiply something else and voila'...we come up with how much of the higher calorie formula she needs in her feeding tube for the rest of the feed. And this happens every three hours still during the day with feedings taking close to an hour so do you see why I miiiight be going crazy? Where are my plates when I need to throw something???

Enough about that, in other feeding news Ella is continuing to make good progress in feeding therapy. She is doing much better eating meltable solid foods like puffs and has pretty much mastered that without much gagging and vomiting. Yea!! It still happens but her gag reflex is getting much better and she is able to recover more often after a gag these days and not lose everything which is really good. I'll spare you the gagging and vomit talk this post since you got an ear full last time. You're welcome. Anyway, this past week we have been trying soft foods like cooked pasta, diced peaches, etc. The other day she ate three bites of mac and cheese! AND, she really likes ice cream! I mean a little cookies and cream with double chocolate sundae syrup never hurt nobody...shoot. Funny how this works isn't it? I never would've given Eva spoonfuls of this when she was 13 months but with Ella we don't care what it is as long as she'll eat it. Nice, I know.

Dinner of champions my friends. Maybe this is what we should be putting in her feeding tube to pack on the pounds. Brilliant idea if I do say so myself!

She's so funny. She would just smile every time Rick would offer her a bite. Don't know why I'm surprised because who isn't in a better mood when they're eating ice cream?

Last week we also had Ella's follow up appointment at Scottish Rite and it went really well. They were very pleased with how she is progressing and that she is crawling. They released her to go ahead and start therapy so we have started back with occupational and physical therapy. She is using her left arm more and more but it is still pretty stiff and tight but with time and therapy things will get even better which is encouraging. We're not sure what her range of motion will be but we're going to treat her as if she will have full range and just see how she does with everything. We have great therapists with ECI that have been working with Ella for the last year leading up to her surgery and they will continue to see her so we're glad about that. They are awesome and we're so blessed to have them. We'll go back for another check-up in the middle of this month to see how things are going so we'll just keep on keepin' on.

Now that we've started more therapy our weekly schedule is very full and we have something almost every day and there are some days where we have two sometimes three appointments in a day for Ella. It is exhausting but we feel very blessed to have great doctors and help for Ella. I'm getting used to the new schedule with feeding therapy twice a week, OT and PT both once a week, dietician once a week as well as other random appointments. It's hard but I know it's going to help her and it will not always be this crazy. But, this is still a marathon we are in and we realize to keep sane we are going to need some extra help. So, the good news is is that a friend of ours from church is going to help us by coming a couple of days a week to help me take care of Ella during the day. She will start this week and once she feels comfortable and we have everything worked out it will allow me time to be able to leave the house, run errands, etc. which I haven't been able to do unless there was someone to keep Ella. We are very thankful and excited about her helping our family so that is a praise.

Other than that things are okay. Eva's doing well, been a little under the weather this week but doing well. Ella is doing and saying more things everyday. She started clapping this week and tries to mimic different words and sounds. I won't bore you by listing the things she says but she is going to be our talker I think. She is continuing to gain weight which is a miracle after the past week or so of feedings being hard and her vomiting so much which is a praise. She weighs close to 16 pounds now! So exciting AND she is actually on the charts now for her length and head size. Barely on the charts but still it shows we're moving in the right direction. Yea Ella! She's crawling everywhere and is getting faster, we can hardly keep her contained. She doesn't want to sit in her chair during her feedings anymore so we let her crawl around to keep her happy while she's hooked up to her feeding tube which is fine but it makes things a little wild. You can't leave her unattended because if she crawls away from her I.V. pole then the feeding tube gets stretched too far and ends up getting pulled out of her g-button and then you've got milk going everywhere. Lovely. So, we have to follow her around the house with her pole to make sure everything stays in tact. She has a little backpack that was made to hold her feeding pump, bag and tubes but I tried it on her the other day without anything in it and she did a face-plant sooooo obviously that's not going to work. So, if anyone has any spectacular on-the-go feeding tube ideas for crawling little babies besides following one around with an I.V. pole I would gladly welcome them. :)

Silly Eva...she dresses herself everyday. Stellar combo isn't it?

I promise that I really do feed my children. Eva is Miss Constant Snack Attack and I don't know what Ella thinks she's doing in the refrigerator because the girl is fed around the clock whether she's hungry or not. And of course, her little friend the I.V. pole is never far away. I need feeding tube backpack ideas asap people!

Fun with Daddy

By the way, anyone out there still watch Survivor? What is up with this Russell guy?? The dude is nuts. Can't wait for it every week!

Nuthin' but a C Thang

2009-09-14T23:45:00.001-05:00

C thang being...CRAWLING! What.is.up?! Ella started crawling this past week and we are so excited. She was very close to crawling before her surgery so we weren't sure how she would do post-surgery with it all, if she would even crawl at all or what it would look like. She is doing great though! She is using her left arm more and is bearing weight on it which is awesome. She's not using it as much as her right still but hopefully that will come. She is all over the house and it's so cute to watch her. She is just so tiny so it's hilarious to see her scooting around. She's still figuring it all out but she's doing great and her poor little knees are red all the time because she wants to go, go, go. She just kind of creeps along and I can't help singing to myself everyday a little Snoop Dogg "I'm creepin' and I'm creepin' and I'm creepin" as I watch her. Nice right? Thus the title of my blog post ya know, a little shout out to the DoggFather...shoot. Anywho, we're so proud of her! We also started feeding therapy today so we'll be going over twice a week to Our Children's House in Grapevine for therapy. It went well and was a positive experience so I think it will be helpful. My sweet friend Randi goes to the same therapist at OCH and left us a little gift this morning to get us pumped up about feeding. Thanks Randi, we love the bib!

Go Ella! Go! Go! Go!
Feedings are going about the same this week. Ella is still doing fairly well with the puffs and her bottle feedings are about the same which is a positive thing. She has started her usual once or twice a day vomiting episodes which is not so great though. Please keep praying for her feedings. This week we are going to try to start transitioning her to a new higher calorie formula which if it goes well, it would mean that eventually we could feed her less volume, less often. It would change our feeding schedule for the better which would be SO nice so please pray that she tolerates it. She is very sensitive to change so we are really praying this transition goes well. I'll keep you updated. Keep praying!

Anyway, another great gift I got recently was from my very creative friend Jessica. In recognition of surviving this year and for my injury-free performance in caring for Ella, and in honor of my commitment to keep the Carder house safe, she presented me with this custom-made, limited edition safety plate for working injury-free this past year. What's with the safety plate you ask? Well, it all started back when Rick worked for the railroad a few years ago and apparently every year that you work there and don't get injured on the job you receive a safety plate in recognition of your injury-free performance that year. Not kidding. Stick with me here. Rick didn't bother to tell me about this (I wonder why?) so you can imagine my delight when one day we received a package in the mail and he pulls out a plate with a photo of a train on it with a written inscription on the back recognizing him for working injury-free that year. What?! This was so funny to me and it really was a good 10 minutes of me laying on the floor laughing unable to speak before I could compose myself enough to find out more details about this whole safety plate thing.

This is my fun safety plate. Love it.

These are Rick's beauties

I don't want anyone to take offense at me thinking this is funny because I realize that there are many people who work at the railroad and have very dangerous jobs so I am not making light of that at all. But for OUR situation, Rick worked in Accounting and to my knowledge was not in immediate danger everyday. He worked very hard and I'm proud of him for that but I mean what was going to happen in the Accounting Dept. where he might get hurt? I don't know, I guess he could've gotten a little too excited punching numbers on his calculator and jammed a finger or maybe tripped over a stack of file folders leaving his cubicle in External Reporting to walk over to visit someone in Auditing. Who knows? Stranger things have happened. Anyway, I just found this whole safety plate thing quite humorous and I began to look forward to each year when the plates would be delivered. And you better believe we put those bad boys up on display each year in the hiz-ouse before carefully putting them away.

So, after the year I've had I think I too deserve a safety plate. As for the phrase on the plate, let me explain. A couple of my friends and I have kind of used it as a joke sometimes this year when describing our day to each other. When we've had a particularly challenging day, which for me happened most days, it was used a lot. For instance, the conversation might go something like this. Q:"Hey Amy, how's your day going?" A:"Well, just great, Ella has thrown-up every feeding, her g-button came open and I didn't know it so her clothes are covered with stomach contents and Eva didn't make it to the bathroom in time so she dropped a deuce in the hall. So, you know, just another day in paradise!" There ya go. It's a great phrase isn't it? Just kind of lightens the mood on a rough day. So, back to the plate. Since Rick hasn't worked at the railroad for some time now we obviously are no longer receiving any safety plates which is a shame. Leave it to my friend Jessica though to think it would be funny to commemorate this past year by making me a safety plate. Much appreciated Jessica, much appreciated. You might not think it's that funny but again, the whole idea of giving someone a plate because they're injury-free? I can't get my mind around how this came about. The whole thing is just funny to me. However, it spurs me on and I am looking forward to another injury-free year and hopefully another plate to add to my collection. Thanks Jess. No worries though, this plate is a collector's item and therefore will not be one of my anger management plates that I throw in the backyard. Just so ya know. Remember everyone...safety first!

In more important news, my sister Ann and her family made it safely to Phayao, Thailand. Thank you Lord! It was very hard to say goodbye this past Thursday but it is an answer to prayer that the trip went well and that they are there. I had a small breakdown the day they left and was sitting in the living room crying for a good 20 minutes...you know, doing the ugly cry. Eva was "coloring" and Ella was playing on the floor so all was well...or so I thought. I should've known that something was up when I didn't hear much from Eva. Usually when it's a little too quiet around here my hair-trigger something-funny's-going-on radar goes into full effect but I was off my game due to the cryfest I was having. Sooo, this is what I see peeking around the couch at me.

Isn't that special? Indeed yes, she was "coloring," it just wasn't on paper. I had a hard time getting on to her because I immediately started laughing which cheered me up so that was good. Sweet Eva, never a dull moment with her. Anyway, we got to talk with Ann on Skype last night which was fun. They are very tired but doing well. Please be praying for them as they begin their transition to life in Thailand. For the next couple of weeks they will be living in a hotel while they look for a house. So far they haven't seen anything that will work so please be praying that they find a place to live. They could use your prayers as this is an exciting time but also a stressful time as they will begin their life in a new country as well as start a new ministry. Please pray for continued unexpected blessings, peace and guidance for them and their team. You can read updates from them on their blog by clicking on my link Reese's in Thailand. Thanks for your prayers!

More to come. Just chill, til the next episode...

Update on Ella, Birthdays and More

2009-09-05T22:10:00.012-05:00

Man, I am soooo behind on the ole blogging. It's been so busy and I just haven't had time to sit down and write. A lot has happened since Ella came home from the hospital that I need to document so this post is going to be a catch-up post. So, here we go.

1. Okay, I've been meaning to write about Eva's birthday which was August 2nd but I didn't get a chance to because we were getting ready for Ella's surgery. So here are a few pictures from her 3rd Birthday. I can't believe my little girl is three! She is so funny. She had an M&M party because the girl loooooves M&M's...really all candy but especially M&M's. It was so fun and we got M&M shirts for the girls for the big day and had a fun time celebrating with our sweet friends. My mom made Eva an M&M costume and purse which she loves. So funny! Eva is just a joy and keeps us laughing all the time. We are NEVER bored when she's around because she is always into something. Keeps us on our toes at all times.

2. Ella turned 1 on August 31st! Un.be.liev.able. Stats: 14 lbs. 9oz, 26 inches long. I am still in shock that she is one and have nothing but feelings of thankfulness for all that the Lord has brought us through this year. The day Ella was born was a very hard and scary day for all of us but on this day a year later we are so thankful for where we're at now. Things are still very difficult and far from being "normal" but the Lord has brought us so far and we are so, so thankful. We have been in survival mode this year and I really have had moments here and there of processing all that has happened but I don't think I have fully processed it all. One day I'll write more on that but for now her birthday was very sweet and we had a fun family party. She loved her cake and did not hesitate to dig in. I guess she's just been waiting on the whole eating food thing until we actually gave her something good to eat. :) I don't blame her, you put the choice of pureed green beans in front of me or chocolate cake and I'm going for the cake like it's my job. It was a fun party and I took about a million pictures but here are some of my favorites.

Aaaannd party's over

3. Eva started dance class with her sweet friend Kyndall about two weeks ago and this is one of the highlights of my week. If you ever need a good laugh go observe a three year old dance class. Oh man, it's great. I don't know which is better, Eva standing in the middle of the room staring out the window and playing with her skirt oblivious to everyone else dancing around her or the girl who's leotard is a wee bit too tight and her little cheeks are just hanging out the entire hour. Awesome. Head in the game Eva, let's pay attention sister. It really is so sweet and she is doing better than I thought she would. It sometimes takes her a little while to warm up in new situations but she really loves it. We are so thankful for her little friend Kyndall and feel blessed that she invited Eva to take the class with her. They are so cute together!

4. This past Wednesday, September 2nd, we had Ella's first follow-up appt. with her surgeons at Scottish Rite. They took her dressing and sling off to look at her shoulder and were very pleased with how things are looking. They were so pleased that they said she didn't have to wear her sling anymore!! It's only been two weeks...she was supposed to be in it for four. Incredible! We are so excited because the past two weeks have been pretty rough at night. She wasn't sleeping well so we've all been very tired but during the day she did great and the sling didn't slow her down a bit. She was putting a little weight on her left arm and would just roll on the floor to get to where she wanted to go as if she had not just had major shoulder reconstruction. Crazy! We are very happy with how her shoulder looks and are just so thankful that the Lord provided these surgeons to help Ella. Her shoulder is not perfect and does not look exactly like her right shoulder and is not the same size as her right one but despite that it looks amazing. My eyes filled with tears as we sat and talked to the doctors and we were able to see her new shoulder with no bandages for the first time. The wisdom that the Lord gave to these surgeons to help Ella has changed her life and ours and we are forever grateful. There is still much healing that needs to take place and time will tell how well she will be able to use her left arm as far as range of motion but so far things are good. We go back for another follow-up on September 24th and we'll talk more about what therapy will be needed etc. so we'll see what's next on the road to recovery. Thank you for your constant prayers for Ella!

5. Feeding, feeding, feeding. Big news here people, big news on the feeding front. FINALLY something positive to report. Last week Ella went almost a whole week without vomiting one time! This has never happened in her whole life so this was huge. On average she will have one to two large vomiting episodes a day and on a really bad week she'll have anywhere from 3-7 vomiting episodes A DAY. That's right, a day. And I'm not talking just a small spit up here and there, I'm talking large projectile every time. It's really hard to watch. So there is lots of laundry going down at the Carders...good thing I have that beautiful washer/dryer to bring cheer to the chore. So for her not to have any for almost a week is AMAZING! Answer to prayer. Things change a lot from week to week with her feedings and it might not be like this next week so we are just thankful she had a good week this past week. Also, she didn't lose any weight after her surgery which is another answer to prayer. She pretty much maintained her weight and even gained a little. I know...pick your jaws up off the floor. Okay, it gets better. During her feedings this past week she is also taking more by mouth on average than she was pre-surgery. She's not taking enough to not use the g-button but even the little that she is taking by mouth is more than she was doing before so that is a positive thing. The other great thing is that this week she ate puffs for the first.time.ever! This is amazing so hold on to your seats folks because I'm about to freak your freak. Up until now she wouldn't eat any kind of solid food like puffed cereal, fruit, pasta, etc. without tasting it and spitting it out or if she did happen to swallow a little piece of it she would gag and vomit. This happened every time. She would never chew it and swallow. The other night at dinner she ate, and I mean for real ATE a whole handful of those little puffs! She gagged a couple of times but fought through it and kept chewing and swallowed all of what she ate. We are so excited! I realize that we are still a long way from solid food being full meals and we still have a long way to go with feeding but this is a big step. Thank you Lord! Keep praying for her feedings, we are seeing small improvements which has given us a new hope. Sorry for all the gagging and vomit talk...welcome to our world. :)

6. Ella said two words in the past couple of weeks. Her first word, which we think is highly appropriate for her and all that she's been through was "Uh-oh." So cute! And the other word is "ball" which she said for the first time at her follow up appointment. The girl is a genius is she not? Just humor me okay? Another big thing is she is sleeping in her crib for naps. This past year she has been sleeping in her swing because we needed a way for her to get to sleep quickly in between feeds since there's not much time with her being on an every three hour schedule and her feedings take an hour. This is still the case right now with her feeding schedule but she is doing great sleeping in her bed so that is huge. Ella got a cool mobile for her birthday which has really helped so big thanks to the new mobile! I know, I'm pretty sure that she might be the only one year old to get a mobile for her 1st birthday. Hilarious. Also, up until now her bed has been elevated to help with her reflux and we put in flat this week to see how she would do and she's done great. I think she is even sleeping better because before with it elevated she would roll to the bottom of the bed and we would have to go in several times a night and move her back up. This might not be huge for anyone else but for us it is very exciting.

Ella in her ACU spirit skirt...for the purple and white always!

7. My sister bought me a new shirt and it is awesome. Jealous? You should be. Isn't it the best shirt you've ever seen? Ideally I should be about 15 years younger to really pull this off but the way I see it is that love for MJ has no age limit so I will conitinue to stand proud.

8. Speaking of my sister Ann, she and her family are moving to Thailand this week on September 10th to be missionaries in Phayao, Thailand. That's another reason I haven't been blogging, I've been spending as much time as I can with Ann and my sweet neices. We are so excited for them and could not be prouder of the way they have obeyed the call to bring the good news of Jesus to those in Thailand. Selfishly we are very sad that they are leaving but we stand behind them 100% and feel blessed to be a part of their ministry. Please be praying for them this week as they prepare to leave as this is obviously very bittersweet for them and our entire family. Pray for their safety, for a smooth transition once they arrive in Thailand, and for their overall adjustment. I'll keep you posted on their status.

I better sign off since this post is getting lengthy. Thank you for your continued prayers and support for our family. We feel very blessed and could not do this without your love. For the first time in a year we can see a glimmer of light in the dark tunnel we've been in. Better days are ahead, I just know it. Keep praying!

We're Home!

2009-08-22T15:08:00.008-05:00

Hanging out with Daddy

Peace, I'm out. Ella waving bye as we walked out the door of her hospital room. So cute.

Can you believe it? We are already home and Ella is doing great! We got discharged yesterday late afternoon. Yesterday at the hospital Ella was much more alert and awake, she seemed comfortable and was tolerating her feeds ok. No smiles but she seemed to be doing well enough to go home. We just felt like things were fine and her doctors felt good about everything so we made the decision to come home. They changed her dressing once and her sling so we got to see part of her incision and it looks really good. It's a big scar but they did a very good job with it and we can't wait to see what her shoulder is going to look like. Today her swelling is already much better but it is going to take some time to heal obviously. They did'nt use any artificial materials in the reconstruction of her shoulder so it's just bone to bone growing back together and reattaching of muscles so it's going to take some time for everything to grow together and smooth out. We'll go back on September 2nd for a follow-up so we'll see then what the time-line is for how long she'll be in the sling and what the next steps are in her recovery process.

Went for a little wagon ride while still in the hospital. As you can see Ella just loved it! :) She slept through the whole thing but we had fun getting out of our room.

So far things have just been so much better than we thought they would be. Huge answer to prayer! I thought our hospital stay would be much longer and I had no idea what to expect for Ella as far as recovery, pain etc. She has just done so well so far, I just can't believe it. God is so faithful is all I can say. She took a little formula by mouth today and has only been on plain Tylenol to manage her pain so that is great news. She slept well last night, is smiling alot and wanting to play with her toys so we feel like she is getting back to her old self. Eva got the first smile from her of course. They just love each other. She is such a trooper! Thank you all for your continued prayers. We know that all of this is just a direct answer to prayer so thank you for lifting our family up.

We still have a long road ahead so please keep praying for a continued smooth recovery for Ella, for things to heal as they're supposed to and for no infection. There is still much to be done and overcome so we covet your prayers. Now that we don't have any scheduled surgeries in the near future we can really start hitting feeding hard and be more proactive as far as therapy, playing around with formula and feeding schedules so please keep that in your prayers as well. We have just been in a holding pattern for the past year getting ready for this surgery and have had no choice but to feed her every 3 hours around the clock. This has been the hardest year of our life and difficult for our whole family and now that this surgery is behind us we have some freedom and time to explore some different options with feedings. So, needless to say we still have a lot of hard things to overcome so please continue to pray for us.

We are amazed at the faithfulness of our Lord and how He cares so much for us. Thank you for encouraging us and carrying this burden with us. You all are a blessing. Keep praying!

Just hanging out with Aunt Amy. Aren't Eva's teeth pretty? I promise she doesn't have tooth decay, she just will do anything for M&M's so this is the result of a mouth full of chocolate. Nice.

Sweet Eva reading to Ella when she got home yesterday. She is the best big sister!

First Day Post Surgery

2009-08-20T14:46:00.004-05:00

More answered prayers. We had a good night last night and so far today has been pretty peaceful. Ella slept well last night and I slept pretty well too on my super comfy chair/bed. :) She woke up a couple of times but was not too fussy. Today she has slept most of the day but had one good awake time where she actually sat up in my lap. She wasn't real happy but wasn't screaming either so that was good. She is not wanting to do much other than sleep at this point but has had several small awake times. No smiles yet so she's not her normal smiley self yet but that will come. She is off of the morphine and is on some oral pain medication and so far seems to be doing fine. We started feedings and as of now she has had one feeding of pedialyte and one of formula through her G-button. We'll be working the rest of the day and night to bump up the volume of her feedings to try to get back to our home routine. Please be praying that she continues to tolerate her feedings and will do well eating my mouth. At this point we haven't tried anything by mouth so pray that once we start she will eat well.

Other than that things are going fairly well. This afternoon Ella has been more awake and has been moving more so we'll see how the rest of the day goes. Maybe we'll get a little crazy and take Ella for a wagon ride down the hall. I know...watch out. Keep praying for a smooth recovery. We might be going home tomorrow, we'll just have to see how things go tonight and tomorrow. Thank you for your continued prayers and support, keep it up!

Update on Ella

2009-08-19T16:39:00.005-05:00

First off we want to thank all of you for your prayers for Ella. God has answered every one of them today. Praise God! We are so thankful and we felt at peace today and completely covered in prayer. It was a hard day but was definitely much better than anticipated. Ella's surgery only took about 4 1/2 hours. Amazing! They came and got her around 7 this morning and we went down with her to surgery holding. We sat and talked while the nurses and doctors went over last minute things and then around 8 am it was time to say bye for the morning. I was dreading this moment and definitely had a minor meltdown with lots of tears. :( They started surgery around 8:30 and by 1:30 we were already in recovery. What a shock! We and the doctors were all prepared that this would be a very long surgery but everything went beautifully with no complications. Thank you Lord! The surgery team was so well prepared and a few things that they thought would be major issues turned out not to be. They definitely had an amazing team planning and said that once they got in there there were no surprises and things just progressed smoothly. Again, another answer to prayer.

They said Ella did so well and they are all extremely pleased with the outcome. Her arm is in a soft wrapping and sling which she will wear for another 3-4 weeks. She is on a morphine drip and a small amount of oxygen and more than likely will continue with this through the night. She has woken up several times but is for the most part asleep, a little fussy but seems comfortable. Hopefully tonight will go well. We're just taking one day at a time so we're not sure how long our hospital stay will be yet. Please keep praying for a smooth recovery. We will probably start feedings tomorrow depending on how she's doing so please be in prayer about this as well.

We are praising God for His faithfulness. I think we are still in shock that this day has come and gone now. It has been anticipated since the day Ella was born so it's been a long time coming. We feel so blessed and even though we still have a long road ahead, this is one major hurdle that we have overcome and for that we are so thankful. So overwhelming. Thank you for ALL of your support, phone calls, texts, and comments today. It has been so encouraging to us and has helped hold us up during a difficult time. We love all of you and are overwhelmed by your love. Keep praying for Ella, your prayers are being answered. Sorry this might be a little vague, my head is spinning and I can't think through all the details from today but just wanted to give some sort of update. Love to all!

Sweet Ella right before surgery

Seeing her for the first time in recovery

Ella and Cc (Rick's Dad)

Ann and I

Precious cousin Adie (This was the first time we have gotten to meet our new neice Adie! She and Ella are going to be BFF)

Dee and Aunt Amy (Rick's mom and sister)

Mimi and Pawpaw (my parents)

Aunt Ann and Uncle Derran

Sweet Eva checking on Ella

2009-08-19T13:31:00.002-05:00

Ella is out of surgery! The doctors said that all went smoothly and things went even better than expected. We are so thankful for this good news. Amy and Rick are back in the recovery room right now getting to see her. I'll let Amy post later and hopefully have some pictures of beautiful little Ella. Thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts today--they were felt here in a big way. Prayers are being answered minute by minute. Keep it up! :) Thank you Lord for carrying little Ella and for the great reports!

Surgery Update

2009-08-19T10:57:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to let you all know that all is going well so far. Ella has been in for a little over two hours now and they have received one update so far. We should hear something every two hours. Let you know as I know.

The Big Day

2009-08-18T15:18:00.004-05:00

Hello Everyone, Ann here, Amy's twin sister. I will be keeping you posted through the day tomorrow until things calm down and Amy can resume with her hilarious blogs and Ella updates that we have all come to love. Amy and Rick checked in to Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children today at noon. They have been busy all afternoon with pre-op things. The surgery is scheduled for 8:30 tomorrow morning, August 19th. I will keep you posted as I receive updates (assuming that I will have wireless at the hospital). Thank you all for being such great supporters of Amy and Rick and Eva and Ella. Your prayers are needed more than ever to cover these next few days, especially tomorrow.

Amy and Rick, we love you so much. There are so many of us lifting up your sweet Ella in prayer to our Heavenly Father, who walks with us through difficult times, who is going before us, and who, above all, is faithful. God bless you with peace and comfort tonight and strength for tomorrow. We all love you very much.

*********************************************************************************
Amy here. It's about 9:45 pm and I'm sitting here in our hospital room watching sweet Ella sleep. It's been a long day meeting with different doctors and taking care of so many things to prepare for surgery tomorrow. I can't believe this day is finally here. I'm thankful but at the same time I don't know if I'm ready for this. I cried most of the way to the hospital, cried walking into the hospital, cried in the waiting room during the admission process and so on. It's cool though. Been very emotional this week and had some hard moments in getting ready for all of this that have brought me to my knees in tears. I think this is just the human side of things because at the same time in my heart I hear the Lord speaking loud and clear, "Amy, I know you don't want to do this, but it's ok. I'm taking care of Ella and she is going to be fine." He is so faithful.

Thank you all SO much for all of your sweet cards this week and for the phone calls and texts. We have the best support system and could not do this without such amazing family and friends. Thank you for committing to praying for Ella. We have been so encouraged by your words and how you are helping carry this burden for us. Thank you! Keep the prayers coming! Tomorrow will be a long, hard day. They are expecting surgery to last 6+ hours possibly. Yeah, I already asked...they don't give sedatives to the parents. Son of a gun. Check in tomorrow for updates. Sorry I don't have any pictures to post but it's dark in here and am too tired to try to dig out my computer cord to upload pics. I'll do better later. Love to all! Pray hard!!!

Update on Meeting with Surgeons

2009-07-25T22:03:00.003-05:00

Amy Funk here. I'm feeling the funk creeping around again and think I could be on the verge of being in one but I'm saying no to the funk. Not gonna do it. Really I think what it is is that ever since we met with Ella's surgeons on July 16th about her surgery things have gotten more real and I'm just a taaaad bit more emotional. Had a big breakdown the other day and was doing the ugly-cry on sweet Rick's shoulder while he just calmly talked me back to my senses. Feels good to have a good cry every once in a while ya know? So I had my snorting, sniffling cry and should be good for another week or two and poor Rick just ended up with a wet shoulder. :) He is so sweet and is just the most amazing husband ever. I'm so blessed to have him.

I've been meaning to update for awhile now on our meeting and about surgery details. Thank you so much for the prayers, phone calls, emails and texts that day, it was so encouraging. So many of you have been so sweet to ask about how things went and your support means so much to us, thank you. Overall it was a very positive meeting and we feel good about the doctors and their plan to help Ella. With that being said, the surgeons were also very up-front with us that the problems with Ella's shoulder are very complicated but at the same time fixable. They were very pleased with the images they got from the MRI and CT Scan and feel like it has given them a good road map for what Ella's shoulder looks like, where bones are, blood flow, etc. I'm not a medical person so it's hard to explain what all is wrong but there are just lots of bones that are not in the right place or attached correctly, the main ones being her shoulder blade and collar bone. There is also some strange blood flow which is one of the main complications to the surgery. Basically, they are going to have to build a functional shoulder for Ella and do a lot of moving around of bones and reattaching of things. Despite all of the problems though, they are very pleased with the function she has in her left arm right now. This was good to hear because we have really worked hard in PT to get her moving that left arm and get it strong for surgery. Yeah Ella! Right now she has limited range of motion in her arm and neck but they are expecting that to improve once things are in the right place. They told us not to expect complete range of motion but to expect better range. They are going to do their best to create a normal looking, functional shoulder but told us to be prepared that it might not look exactly like her right shoulder or even be level with it. So, we don't really know how to prepare for what it will be like, look like, or what she will be able to do after this is all said and done but we have peace in knowing that to help Ella, this has to be done. We believe the Lord is in control and that with Him all things are possible so we're expecting blessings from this.

Even though we believe the Lord is holding little Ella in his hands through all of this it is still very hard to know something is wrong with your baby. Do I wish things were different? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. But, He is faithful and we are just taking all of this one day at a time knowing that there is still a very long road ahead and He will continue to be there every step of the way. It was very surreal sitting there listening to the surgeons and looking at images of your child's bones and blood vessels and seeing that something is very wrong. Very informative, interesting and at the same time overwhelming. I kept thinking to myself, "How did I get here? Is this for real?" and "I think I've heard enough and need to leave now." :) We were there for several hours and saw three of the main 5 surgeons that will be a part of Ella's surgery. Ella's primary surgeon has pulled together an amazing team of surgeons and in addition to the 5 there will also be numerous others who will be assisting and observing. So, needless to say there are a lot of people involved here and we are thankful that they are pulling in the best of the best to help Ella. I am listing the names of the surgeons and would ask that you be praying for each of them and that the Lord would use the talent and wisdom that He has given them to the best of their ability to help sweet Ella.
Dr. Ezaki-Ella's primary surgeon
Dr. Roden-Pediatric and vascular surgeon
Dr. Weprin-Pediatric Neurosurgeon
Dr. Oishi-Plastic surgeon
Dr. Herring-Pediatric Ortho
Thank you for your continued prayers for our family. We feel so loved and supported by all of you.

To explain a little more, I thought I would just answer some commonly asked questions about what to expect for her surgery to help inform everyone.

Q: When is her surgery?
A: Surgery will be August 19th. We will be admitted to the hospital on the 18th and will spend the night there. We don't have a definite time of day that surgery will begin yet but we're assuming it will start early morning.

Q: How long will surgery be? Will it be one surgery or multiple?
A: We're not sure. The doctors said that it could take anywhere from a few hours to all day. They don't know so to be prepared they have reserved the operating room for Ella all day. Yeah...all day, kind of makes me want to throw up. They are planning to do the repair in one surgery. They indicated that if there was a need for surgeries in the future that they would be minor or cosmetic.

Q: How long will she be in the hospital?
A: They said they expected her to have a 3-4 day hospital stay. I'm not banking on that but we'll see. I'm expecting longer but what do I know. Even if it's a week or more, that's nothing compared to our 2 1/2 month stay in the NICU.

Q: Will she have a cast?
A: From what I gathered, she won't have a cast but they will use some type of wrapping to keep her arm immobilized and she will wear that for 3-4 weeks. After that we will go back to Scottish Rite and they will take it off and make plans from there with regards to therapy, etc.

Hope that helps! Again, thank you so much for your constant support and care, we couldn't do this without such faithful family and friends. Be praying that little Ella stays healthy, surgery is 3 weeks from Wednesday. Crazy! Pray for peace for our family as we anticipate this hurdle. We'll update as we know more. Thanks so much!

Public Pool Rules

2009-07-14T14:44:00.008-05:00

Okay, so the other day I got to go spend some time BY MYSELF at our community pool. I don't know when the last time was that I actually got to hang out by the pool without kids but Eva was gone visiting my parents and Rick being the sweet husband that he is kept Ella so I could go. Anyway, it was much needed and I was excited because I love the sun and plus I love to people-watch. I mean is there a better place to people-watch than at the pool? Maybe the airport but the pool is prime and guarantees great material. In the hour or so that I was there I noticed several things that were funny and have nothing to do with standard public pool rules but are just more socially awkward/funny things that I think should become part of the public pool rules list.

1. Swimsuit attire and the obvious lack of a third-party opinion

Now, this has nothing to do with the size or shape of a person but more to do with style and fit. Have we all not seen enough episodes of TLC's What Not To Wear and heard Stacy London hammer home the point that fit is everything? You would think, but apparently some of us are not getting the message. With that being said, I realize that there are at times extenuating circumstances where a person does not have access to a swimsuit that fits well, like maybe they forgot their swimsuit and had to borrow someone else's. Believe me, I have totally been that girl on the family vacation who forgot her swimsuit and in desperation had to borrow her mom's navy and white polka-dot swimsuit with the built in skirt. Remember those? Awesome. And this, my friends, did not happen in junior high where it's pretty much a guarantee that you're going to be awkward, because who isn't awkward in junior high, but this happened my sophomore year in college. I would like to say that I learned my lesson but no, it happened again just a couple of years ago and this time instead of having to borrow my mom's swimsuit, I was desperate enough to borrow my friend's mom's swimsuit. Not kidding. So hear me when I say I understand why people might be wearing a swimsuit that defies the style and fit rule. I get it.

However, this rule should still be put into full effect. And possibly the more key component here to this rule that people ignore is the third-party opinion. This is important folks and I'm realizing that in my people-watching that many people seem to be lacking the opinion of someone besides themselves when choosing a swimsuit. Obviously. OR, or maybe they did have an outside opinion but this person has amazingly skewed judgment when it comes to swimsuit style and fit and therefore is of no help in choosing a swimsuit. Who wants to be the person everyone is looking at and thinking to themselves "somebody liiiied to her!" No one. And also, a side-note about the third party. The opinion of the third party needs to be relevant to the times. If you were given approval for a certain swimsuit in 1984, that approval does not still count for that same swimsuit in 2009. Are you picking up what I'm putting down here? That's right, it's time to get a new suit and opinion. The third party opinion should happen every year before swimsuit season and preferrably at the time of purchase.

Okay, enough said. I think we all get the point that fit is everything and the importance of the third-party opinion. It's key people, key.

2. Music

Whatever happened to the mix-tape? Man, I loved those things. I know, now days it's called an Ipod but apparently there are still some individuals on the scene that do not share my love for mix-tapes at the pool. While I was there it was all Justin Timberlake all the the time coming from this person's big yellow boom-box for all to hear. Now, I'm down with a little JT...but every Justin Timberlake hit ever? It's a bit much don't you think? Let's mix it up yo. And I think what was more funny to me about this particular situation is not so much the choice in music but the person/music choice combo. You know how you expect a certain kind of person to listen to a certain kind of music? Such is the case here. I don't know what I expected to hear from this person and their big yellow boom-box but a collection of JT hits was definitely not on my list of possibilities.

Lesson learned, mix-tapes are a good idea at the pool.

3. Splash magnet

Why is it that I can be as far away as possible from people in the pool and they decide that they need to get out or get in the pool 1 ft. from where I am and splash me while doing it? Good night! I mean there are miles of open water to swim in, jump in, splash in whatever, away from people. But no, apparently these people feel the need to do a cannon-ball right next to me regardless of the fact that I am obviously just in the water to cool off and I'm not there to get completely wet. Read the social cues people, c'mon. It never fails, every time I go to the pool, which isn't often this happens. There can be 3 people in this huge pool but where ever I am is where they choose to flounder around. Seriously, I don't get it. What I do get is that the pool is THE place for teachable moments in social awareness. You want to teach your kids about social awareness? I'm telling you, take them to the pool, it won't disappoint.

Lesson...easy on the splashing and for goodness sake do your cannon-balls and jack-knife away from others, it's just common sense.

4. Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil

It's perfectly normal to see a girl sitting by the pool soaking up some rays or a group of girls, a mom and her small children, a dad with the kids...any of these combinations does not raise the crazy flag. However, a guy...alone...laying out with his bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil? Gettin' the crazy vibe on this one. I don't know but that's just funny to me.

10 Months Old

2009-07-08T10:20:00.007-05:00

Ella is 10 months old and I can't believe it! I know I say I can't believe it every time as she turns another month older so just know that next month I'll say the same thing, but really I can't believe it. Here it is July and next month she'll be one!! How did this happen? It's been a crazy 10 months but she is such a little joy and is definitely our strong-willed-child-with-a-smile. You know, these are the kids that are strong-willed and kind of fool you because they have a huge grin on their face the whole time so you don't realize they're strong-willed. That's Ella, strong-willed-with-a-smile. She's a feisty one and even though she's tiny, she can hold her own. She is sitting up now on her own and we're so proud of her. She is rolling to get to where she wants to go and pushing herself up on her tummy comes very easily now. Physically she is much stronger and is very active which is exciting to see. She isn't crawling yet and I don't know if she will but we are working on that and she is doing better during each of her PT sessions.

Feedings are still about the same. Some days are good meaning she maybe takes half of her bottle and some days she will hardly eat anything which is always awesome. She hasn't been doing very well with baby food lately either but I think the whole teething thing is really affecting her. She has three teeth now and I can feel two more that about to pop up so I think that could be bothering her or at least in my blame-storming sessions to come up with a reason this so far is the best option so we'll go with teething being the reason, makes me feel a little better. :) But, that's just how it goes so we're doing the best we can. Ella is doing well overall and we are seeing progress even though it is slow. She probably weighs close to 13 1/2 pounds now which is great for her but is still extremely small for her age. We are doing the best we can to pack on the pounds but it's very hard when she just can't take in much volume. This would be why we are still on a newborn feeding schedule at 10 months old and having to feed her every 3 hours around the clock. Brrruuutal! Seriously, can someone throw me a bone here? Soooo, I just continue to put on my song and dance everyday, every 3 hours to try to get her to eat so if anyone needs a good laugh, show times are daily starting at 9,12,3 and 6 pm. I'm just a one man show, a triple-threat I like to call myself if you will because I sing, dance AND act. Pretty fantastic, whatever it takes right? Other than that, Ella is very happy, smiley and loves attention. She is such a blessing to our family and we are so thankful for her.

In other big news, we have a date for her shoulder surgery. Crraaazy! The surgery will be August 19th. We are very glad to have a date set but now that it's almost here when I think about it I get a lump in my throat and my stomach turns so I find myself not wanting to think about it. We are meeting with 3 of the 5 surgeons next week on July 16th to discuss MRI results and hear their plans for surgery. We have a lot of questions so this should be a very informative meeting. We have been told numerous times that these surgeons are the best of the best for this so we are so thankful that we live where we do and are blessed to have such amazing care for Ella. We'll update when we have more details next week. Thanks for your continued prayers on this. This is a big deal and something we have been working towards ever since Ella's birth so keep the prayers coming. Once we know more next week I'll be able to have more specific prayer requests but for now please pray that Ella stays healthy and continues to gain weight.

As for Miss Eva, the girl is one hot mess. She is always up to or into something. She loves Ella and is so sweet with her. This is kind of a sad but also funny story and just gives you an idea of our reality here. Whenever she is playing she pretends alot with her dolls, you know dressing them, taking them places. Well, whenever I ask her where she is taking her babies she either says a) to the doctor or b) to church. There you have it, our life in a nutshell, we are either going to the doctor or going to church. Amazing. Oh no, it's not to wal-mart or grandma's house, it's the doctor or church. She does this a lot but I just started thinking about it lately and how this is always her response. Even though I know how hard things are with Ella affects her she is rolling with the punches extremely well and is just the best big sister ever. She's even learning how to semi-work Ella's feeding pump and when it beeps she knows which of the nine buttons to push to turn it off. Normal? No. But I know that through all of this the Lord is preparing her little heart for his amazing purposes and having a sister like Ella is going to help her know her God in more intimate ways and for that I am so thankful.

And back to her getting into things. This is what she was wearing the other day when she got up from her nap. Obviously, someone did not take a nap. I don't know where she thinks she's going...actually I do, probably one of two places.

And here is what happens if we leave the bathroom door unlocked.

Lotion anyone? FYI, this did not happen on my watch. Aahh, fun times with dad. :)

More to come!

Is there a Cranial Band Grad in the Hiz-ouse?

2009-06-26T21:47:00.010-05:00

Ella with her diploma. She looks so proud of herself doesn't she?

Today was a big day around here. It was Ella's last appointment for her Cranial Band and after 17 1/2 weeks of wearing it, she finally got it off and is now an official graduate. WOO-HOO!! Proud moment here, proud moment. Cranial Band...check. That's one thing we can check off the list of many things Ella has to overcome and though there is still much more ahead of her, today was a fun day for all of us to celebrate a huge success for her. And don't think I didn't pack a collection of bows in her diaper bag for her to wear on the big day because she definitely had a bow on asap that's fo sho.

We've come a long way and her head looks amazing compared to when we first got the band. Obviously, it's not perfect but it looks SO much better than it did and we all feel that all of this was worth it and something that needed to happen. I wish you could all see the before/after pictures to see what I'm talking about. Huge difference! Not that these pictures show the difference in her head shape but I just thought I would post some "first and last day of school" type pictures. :)

4 1/2 months ago on the first day she got the band.

Today, the last day to wear her band.

No more band, just a beautiful little head!

And what's even more fun, Ella's party favor from this whole shin-dig? That's right, her head on a stick! I'm not even kidding folks, this thing has brought me many a laugh throughout this process. This is a mold of her head that they did at the beginning so they could make her Cranial Band and they use it to measure and compare growth/change at each appointment. You remember Ella the mummy? Yes, it's a mold from that. This might not be funny to anyone else but I always found it quite humorous that at every appointment we had the technician would walk out into the waiting room to meet us with Ella's head on a stick in tow. Seriously, it cracks me up that this is the norm and we go to an appointment where no one thinks it's weird that there are life size molds of children's heads stuck on a big stick and they just carry them from place to place as if it's completely normal and not weird at all. Hilarious.

So, it's been a good day and we are so excited that Ella is done with all of this. She has been amazing through it all and is such a little trooper. We love her so much and are so proud of her. I'm constantly amazed that the Lord chose us to be Ella's family and though things are hard and not at all how we dreamed they would be, we are greatly blessed each and every day.

On a completely different note, thanks to all of you who called and texted me to offer your condolences on the death of Michael Jackson. Much appreciated my friends, much appreciated, even though I could sense a tad bit of sarcasm from all of you. True fans and friends you all are. :) You better believe we'll keep the legend of MJ alive in the Carder house with frequent MJ music education opportunities. I'm not ashamed that Eva and Ella will grow up possibly knowing every word to songs like "P.Y.T." and "Beat It", I mean why should I be? I think I still have some of my Michael Jackson posters from back in the day stashed away somewhere, I better find those bad boys and get the Remembering MJ party started. Peace.

Preliminary MRI results

2009-06-25T16:31:00.003-05:00

Just a brief update here about Ella's MRI results. I don't have much but we did hear from the surgeon a couple of days ago with some preliminary information. She said that they got really great pictures from the MRI and CT Scan which was good to hear and an answer to our prayers so that is a praise. On the other hand the hard news to hear was that she said things are much more complicated than she originally thought. We've always known things would be complicated but actually hearing it said from the surgeon was hard to take. She didn't give alot of details yet because she wants to consult with other surgeons before she meets with us so I don't have answers yet to a lot of questions.

So right now the plan is this coming Monday, June 29, Dr. Ezaki who is Ella's primary surgeon at Scottish Rite is having a big meeting with a handful of other surgeons, radiologists, etc. to go over the results and hopefully come up with a plan for surgery. After this meeting she said they would call us sometime next week and come up with a time for us to meet with them to go over the results and what their plan will be for Ella's shoulder. So for now there is more waiting until they have a developed plan and can meet with us to explain it all. We are hoping we will know more next week.

That's about all I have but I would ask that you all be praying for their meeting on Monday and that everything will be very clear and that they will have wisdom and understanding in how best to help Ella. Thank you for your continued support, encouragement and prayers. We feel so blessed by all of you. Hopefully next week we will have a lot of answers and a more definite plan for what is to come. Stay tuned!

MRI and CT Scan

2009-06-18T11:44:00.012-05:00

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your prayers, phone calls, texts and emails yesterday, it meant so much to us. We felt very blessed by all of your encouragement and prayers for Ella and felt at peace yesterday during her appointment. I want to also say a big thank you to our sweet families for being here this week and taking care of everything for us so that we could focus on getting through Ella's MRI. THANK YOU!! By the way, Suzanne H., the cinnamon rolls and casserole were AMAZING, just the comfort food we were needing. Thank you! :)

Who's excited to be up and at 'em at 6am? Anyone...anyone?

Ella stylin' in her hospital gown.

So here is a brief update about yesterday. The day went very smoothly so we are so thankful that everything went as it should and there were no hang-ups or complications. We got to the hospital around 6:45 am and they got Ella right into her room. We just played and talked while the nurses took blood pressure, hooked up the monitor, filled out paper work etc. Ella was of course in a great mood since she had'nt eaten anything since 10:30 pm the night before. The nurses were commenting on how good she was being and saying how most kids are fussy because they're hungry. Ha! Not little Ella, she just has the time of her life when she's not being fed so she was just as happy as can be. Amazing.

Ella adores her Daddy!

Just reading some books with Mommy before the MRI. Ignore the fact that I have about 4 chins in this picture. Cool.

Anyway, they took her back to start anesthesia around 8:00 so we had to hand her over for the morning. Not a fun thing for me but I did fine and didn't cry. :) I wanted to cheer myself up and go get some freshly popped popcorn in the lobby but Rick looked at me like I was crazy for wanting popcorn at 8:30 in the morning. I mean what's weird about that? So I decided to pace myself and wait until 9:15. Ain't nuthin' wrong with a little popcorn and an ice cold coke at 9 in the morning, know what I'm sayin'? Shoot. My parents and Ann were there to entertain us so that helped pass the time.

Ann and my Mom living it up at the Shadow Wall. Seriously, we're never going to grow up. Love it! I'm telling you Scottish Rite is the coolest hospital, so many fun things to see and do.

Anyway, they added a CT scan after the MRI so the whole thing took between 3-3 1/2 hours. We didn't know they were going to do a CT scan until yesterday morning but we are very glad they added it on because it will give them an even better view of blood flow in her shoulder and better pictures of bones, etc. They called us back around 11:30 and said Ella was in her room so we went back to get her. Poor baby had a little hoarse cry and seemed a little scared but after spending some time with Mommy and Daddy she relaxed and after about an hour we felt like she was doing well enough to go so we packed up and headed out and got home around 1:30. I don't have any pictures post-MRI because Ella was a little sensitive and it was just too hectic to pull out the camera for a photo-op. Ella did well once we got home, just a little groggy but after a few good feedings and naps she started acting like herself again and today she has been back to all-smiles.

It was a long day but it went well and we are just thankful that it's done and the process is started. We didn't get any results or talk with any of the surgeons yesterday so we are hoping that will happen soon. Hopefully by the beginning of next week we will know when we will meet and get the results. We are anxious for that so as soon as we know something we'll give an update. So for now, more waiting.

Again, thank you so much for all the prayers, we definitely felt them. Love you all!

9 Months Old

2009-06-06T22:30:00.008-05:00

Unbelievable. Ella is 9 months old. It doesn't seem real to me that she is creeping up on a year. Crazy! So it seems like a lot has happened this month so I'll try to update on everything. We'll start with Miss Ella. She had her 9 month appt. the other day and weighed close to 12 1/2 pounds so that is good news. Her weight gain is slow but at least she is continuing to gain so we are thankful for that. She is getting stronger and is really moving and active these days. The girl does not want to sit still! She is not crawling but she will roll or kind of slide a few feet to get to a toy if she wants to. We are hoping she will crawl at some point because it will just strengthen her left arm even more and encourage her to use it more if she does but we'll see what happens with that. We're working on ways to encourage her and teach her how to move to get to other places in hopes she will be motivated to start the crawling process. Her Physical Therapist has been great with her and Ella has really responded well to therapy and has made some great progress so that is good.

Feeding is a little better by mouth but not much. Again, baby food is going fairly well, bottles...not so much. This month has been a rough one with the feeding and she is still not taking much by mouth from the bottle. She is however not spitting up as much. She normally will only spit up once a day sometimes twice where it used to be 3-4 large vomiting episodes a day and a least one in the middle of the night. Terrible! That isn't happening anymore so we are VERY thankful that things are better in that arena so that is a praise. Obviously the goal is also for her to eat well by mouth so we are in the process of making some decisions on pursuing some feeding therapy at Our Children's House at Baylor in Grapevine. Baylor has a great feeding therapy program for children like Ella so that is in the works but we are waiting on insurance predetermination and more details about when Ella's shoulder surgery will be before we know if and when we can do it. We are also trying some different options for treating her reflux, digestion, etc. and have made some changes to her feedings and medication so we are kind of in an evaluation period right now with all of that. Please be praying for us in all of this to make the right decisions, for timing, and for Ella to continue to hold down her feedings and to start EATING GREAT BY MOUTH!!

Okay, shoulder surgery. The big, long-awaited MRI of Ella's shoulder is upon us next week on Wednesday, June 17. We have been waiting for this appointment for MONTHS because we believe this is going to give us a lot of answers as far as what we are dealing with with her shoulder and when surgery will be. Hopefully soon after the MRI the doctors will be able to give us details and a concrete timeline for when surgery will be and how involved it will be. Please be praying for this appointment as well. Ella will also have to be put to sleep for the MRI which always makes me a bit nervous so be praying for her. Have you got the message yet? Pray, pray, pray!!
We'll update as soon as we know more after the results come in.

Going from one project to the next, project Cranial Band is about to be OVER people! That's right, we are done at the end of this month. The end of June will be 4 months that Ella's had the band so we are more than ready for her to get it off. That deserves a big HOLLAAAA!!! Speaking of Holla...quick funny story. The other day I saw a middle-aged mom-type lady driving her car which was shoe-polished with hearts and stuff all over it and on the side window it said Holla real big. This was so funny to me because you know that she probably has a teenage daughter who's friends more than likely shoe-polished the family car and then daughter didn't clean it off like she was supposed to which resulted in mom having to drive to work with Holla written real big across the side of her car. Real cool. Love it! I wanted to somehow acknowledge the holla when I passed her but she was focused and was not making eye contact. Way to be a defensive driver mom.

Whatchoo lookin' at?

Anywho, that's the poop on Ella in a nutshell. In other news, we have new neighbors! Not technically right-next-door neighbors but my sister Ann and her family moved here to the metroplex just 15 minutes down the road for the summer. I know, I'm so excited I'm almost hyperventilating as I write. They are moving to Thailand in September to do mission work so they decided to move here for the summer to spend time with us and to help us with Eva and Ella. A lot of things worked perfectly to make this happen and we know it was the Lord's doing and we feel so blessed that they are here. It's like a dream come true to live in the same city with them! We're in for a fun summer. Yippee!

Meg, Eva and Brynn. We've got some neat hair going on in this picture and as usual the no-smile from Eva.

Eva is doing well, just being her crazy, funny self. She is loving having Aunt Ann, Uncle Derran and the cousins here so she is having the time of her life. We love cousin time.

Yo, can I get an upgrade? They have inflatable pools now you know? Pretty sure they do. Poor thing wanted to play outside in the water so at the time we didn't have a pool so this was the next best option. We were out in the front yard so I'm sure the cars driving by thought we were a bit coo-coo and probably just felt sorry for Eva. But hey, she loved it so everybody wins.

And this, ladies and gentlemen is why swim diapers are always a good idea. Junk in the trunk! This thing was massive. I took it inside and weighed it on the scale and it weighed over 2 pounds, not even kidding. Poor Eva, just having an off day, no pool, no swim diaper=awkward fun.

I would like to end on a more serious note and ask you all to be praying for the Sebourn family. I am part of an on-line support group for mothers with babies born with Omphaloceles and I met Alicia who lives here in this area. This weekend she gave birth to their daughter Zoey who was born with an omphalocele. They are in the process of doing testing, scans etc. to determine the best care for Zoey and doing her omphalocele repair surgery this week and they could really use your prayers. My heart has been heavy for this family because they have an amazing little girl who is going to bless them beyond words but there is much to overcome for all of them so when you pray for Ella please remember to pray for Zoey and the Sebourn family. They have a blog where you can keep up with Zoey and you can visit it by clicking here.

Thank you all for your prayers, we love you!

Just us laydeez

2009-05-23T22:20:00.005-05:00

Just a few pictures here for ya. Sure love my girls!

Sop it up wit a biscuit y'all! Don't worry, Ella's feeding strike is still in full effect...awesome, so she is still hardly taking anything from the bottle but she is doing fairly well with baby food this week. We just have to take what we can get around here.

In addition to wrist fat this girl is starting to get some cheeks is she not? I'm talking about Ella people, c'mon. :) And no, we're not done with the Cranial Band yet, we probably have a month or so to go still. Good night in the morning this band thing is taking forever!

Little Miss Thang, isn't she sweet? Ella started waving bye-bye this week thanks to Dee (Rick's Mom)for teaching her that. She also had one of her bottom teeth break through so it's been a big week. Teething...ugh. Don't you love that Eva is lurking in the background of this picture about to do a sneak attack? Nice.

Uh, uh, laid back...got my mind on my money, my money on my mind. Anyone else down with a little Snoop Dogg?

High and tight my friends, high and tight is the way we like to wear pants around here. I'm realizing that lately I have posted several pictures of Eva where she is yet to be fully clothed in a full outfit or in something normal. I promise she really does own normal clothes and shoes!

My sweet Eva is growing up so fast. I just love her to bits!

Have a great weekend!!